Amalgam Universe

A 2309-post collection

Challenge #02926-H003: Risk Assessment Monarchs

The humans were having a rave. The music was old-fashioned techno music as one would hear in the pre-shattering era known as the 1980's and 1990's. The music flashed, many had glow-sticks, the dance floor flashed colors and there were bright, but harmless, laser lights. And a Vorax raiding party, landing on the planet, stumbled into the rave by accident.

Just in case someone's not been to a rave or heard rave music at it's most wild, basically - it's this, but a lot louder with a lot of heavy bass due to the types of speakers they use.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-zhlssl7Sw -- DaniAndShali

Party planets were thought to be soft targets. Why not? They had lots of resources, lots of financial boons, and lots of wealthy people to ransom for more goods and financial benefits. It should have been an easy raid.

'Should' is not 'is'.

They landed to surround a high cluster of the population, armed, armoured and ready to conquer. They blasted open the doors, and were immediately blasted by what was inside. Weapons-grade sound, irregular flashing lights, nauseating combinations of unnatural colours... and the people within were gyrating around in seemingly impossible ways. It looked like they were suffering from intolerable spasms. To a casual observer, it looked like they were narrowly missing each other in a wild, aimless combat.

But they were also smiling...

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Challenge #02925-H002: He Prefers the First Option

Violence is never the answer. But it’s a very effective solution -- Anon Guest

There are two potential results of being the deadliest person in armed or unarmed combat. One is that nobody wants to mess with you. The other, paradoxically, is that everyone wants to mess with you. It's a thing. Once you get a reputation for being the biggest thing in the known universe, everyone who thinks they can be a bigger thing wants to take you on as

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Challenge #02923-G366: Bad at Risk Assessment

"And what brings you to medical, human?"

"I took my particle mask off when I should have left it on. That was, uh, five days ago? I'm pretty sure I've coughed up all the stuff I inhaled, since the phlegm isn't pointy any more, but I'm still coughing, and my lungs itch. I would have waited longer to bother you about it, but I've been kinda short of breath today, so I thought I'd come in before it got any worse." --

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Challenge #02920-G363: You Laugh, We Win

A: It’s ovew bwothew, i have the high gwound! OwO

B: Chu undewestimated mwy powew.

A: Don’t twy it -- Anon Guest

[AN: Honestly, nothing is better for a giggle than translating badass lines into Owo.]

The fake battle involved bippy hammers[1] and amusing melodrama, much to the amusement of everyone else in the room. There was so much amusement that some were concerned about their ability to breathe. Companion Grox, perching far above melee range, was making sure

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Challenge #02919-G362: Pass It On

I'd like to know more about Human Gis and her discovery of the flower that helped ease, then cure, her bad cough and helped heal the scar tissue in her lungs. Did the kid get credit for her discovery? Maybe a bonus? And did her companion help her with her self-esteem?

It's from this story from back in May. https://peakd.com/fiction/@internutter/challenge-02685-g128-little-yellow-different -- DaniAndShali

It would eventually be named the Rentiniv Daisy, via several miscommunications and some typography errors.

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Challenge #02915-G358: A Super-effective Tactic

The ship had a room labeled "dedicated deathworlder hobby location". For some time, this was considered to be sufficient. Then, they got a second deathworlder...and after the third time both deathworlders had to report to medical due to crafting tool related injuries stemming from frustration spawned combat with regards to shared airspace causing one project to be ruined by the airborne particulate from another project, well...

Something had to be done. -- Anon Guest

Human hobbies are baffling to most cogniscents

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Challenge #02914-G357: Ia Ia Lobby F'thagn

Lobsters do not die of old age and don’t stop growing. They die when they become too big to moult properly. So we’re gonna take a lobster and help it moult over generations, and create a Leviathan god -- Anon Guest

Humans don't take theories at face value. They like to prove things in practice. They like to answer questions with, "We tried it and..." This could be either seen as a flaw or a benefit. It generally comes out

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Challenge #02912-G355: All in Good Fun

A: you’ll never catch me!

B: bold and words for some in BFG range

As the human pulls the trigger a stream of foam balls fly across the room

C: what does BFG stand for anyway?

B: Big Foam Gun, what else?

C: well I thought it was Big F** Gun, but that works too. -- Anon Guest

"Well, that's what it used to stand for, pre-Shattering or something. I think. I'm not that up on my entertainment history. Most of

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Challenge #02911-G354: You Raided the Wrong Planet

A backwater, mudball of a planet that’s home to the galaxies 3rd best interstellar circus comes under attack! -- LatinoThor45

Five hundred years has changed a lot of things. Thousands of years in deep-time colonies has changed so very, very much more. The nature of Circus has evolved. There is no animal exploitation. The trained creatures present are holograms. Artificial intelligences carefully monitored by the CRC and the AI Alliance. They were not that smart, and carefully made to be so.

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Challenge #02910-G353: Learning Process

i want to know what happened during the Vorax raid, ESPECIALLY if the Human was perhaps away, and the Vorax, being not COMPLETELY inept, had waited for that to happen to commit to said raid...

The Vorax were learning. They learned to scan potential victims from a distance. They learned to detect dangerous Humans and at least keep their distance. Human Kin did not scan as threatening. They were smaller and slighter

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Challenge #02909-G352: The Biggest Little Threat

They were banned from almost every DeRegger place known. Their ships had a standing order to shoot on sight. Yet... they came. How they managed to get through the security? Well let's just say DeRegger security is usually spotty at best due to how they choose to "fund" that security. Or maintain the people, supplies, and equipment.

Why were they so hated? So feared? They were telepaths. All of them, the entire team. They had learned to not only block out thoughts

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Challenge #02907-G350: You're Worth Fighting For

Human A: "If you try to kill yourself, I will fight you."

Human B: "...I would not win that fight."

(Note: This is part of a conversation that I actually had with my suicidally depressed partner. And yes, if I thought he was going for it, I would totally fight him.) -- Anon Guest

This, alarmingly, was a common conversation between the two Ship's Humans of the Fanciful Deal. Human Zae had issues that manifested as periodic bouts of severe depression. Their

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Challenge #02906-G349: Warmed in the Weave

The human was both engineer and bodyguard aboard a ship of havenworlders. In their down time, they enjoyed both knitting and crocheting. They had an old blanket that they'd kept from when they were a child and, when things went bad, it comforted them after the event had passed and the enemies were defeated. A way to calm themselves. Having an idea, they began to make small, soft, blankets, one for each of their havenworlder crewmates. After all, why should they be

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Challenge #02904-G347: Ancient Terran Humour

trust me -- Anon Guest

[AN: Link leads to a black page with a purple button that also reads TRUST ME. If you click it, you get a page full of the Pokemon Ditto dancing to The Conga. You will definitely get fired if you're caught viewing this in the office]

This was a vault made by Humans. The way to get through varying doors was to solve puzzles involving bits of Human culture that -according to the Humans who made it-

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Challenge #02903-G346: Don't Do It

Five Times Human Pib got Stuck and Needed to be Rescued, and One Time Human Pib did the Rescuing. -- Anon Guest

[AN: Mandatory callback link Which is but one tale among many.]

Fact: The Humans aboard the Jaunty Merchant had reproduced. This was not a great impact on the functioning of the ship as a whole until their spawn, a Human named Pib, learned to move around independently. Human Pib, in short succession, learned problem-solving skills and fast became a problem

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