Amalgam Universe

A 2280-post collection

Challenge #01321-C226: Lost and Found

The Ballad of Apollo XIII - sung to the tune of 'The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald', but with a triumphant ending. -- RecklessPrudence

"I can't find Ambassador Shayde."

They should have been terrifying words, but they had lost any such sparkle through repetition. It had got to the point that Sherlock and Officer Marken both used Ambassador Shayde as testing material for new recruits.

So far, only one sharp Ensign had passed the Shayde Test.

This... was not that Ensign.

"You've checked her office and her home, of course," prompted Rael.

The luckless trainee smacked headfirst into realisation and ran off in a panic.

Five minutes later, he was back. And out of breath. "She's... not there... either..."

Rael took mercy on the young man and pointed over the balcony where he was standing. To a lower level of the Elemeno. Where Ambassador Shayde had been happily strumming her 'axe' for some time.

"...for the truth will be greater than fictiooooonnnn..." she sang. And she sang it to a group of school-children

"Normally, we'd make you run to all of her other hang-outs," said Rael. "They're scattered all over the greater 1G zone."

The Ensign whimpered.

"You forgot the first rule of handling a figure of some import."

"Whawuztha'?" he panted.

"Read. Their. File," said Lyr, coming up behind him. "I know you opened it, but did you look at more than the in-brief?"

Rael hadn't thought it possible, but the Ensign managed to turn even redder.

"You're relieved, today," Lyr sighed. "Take this as a lesson for why we insist on protocol."

Rael watched his retreat. "Think he'll be back?"

"The Shayde Test has a seventy percent wash-out rate. We'll see."

"If he does come back," Rael paused to see the selfsame red-faced Ensign rush up to the place where Shayde was playing ballads from her time. "Do try to teach him about energy conservation techniques."

(Muse food remaining: 23. Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories! Or comment below!)

Challenge #01317-C222: For Hate's Sake...

"You idiot! Can't you see this will hurt both of us?"

"Well yes, but it'll hurt you a lot more than it'll hurt me, and I can live with that." -- OohLookShiny

There were things she could never talk about. And one of them was the battle of wits with a godlike being.

They could make their arena look like anything. Be made out of anything. They could cast a glamour so powerful that it overwhelmed her. But there was always that

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Challenge #01315-C220: Get Lost!

To get really lost you need a GPS without updated maps, or worse with proposed routes entered as functioning. -- Anon Guest

[AN: Did I tell anyone that story? Stay tuned to my tumblr feed today for the full thing]

"Turn left at the fork."

"What?" said Tirla. "This thing is clearly showing a right turn at the fork."

"Turn left at the fork," said the mechanical voice.

"It's still a few hundred SDU's. We can slow down and see which way

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Challenge #01313-C218: No, You Got it Wrong

This is a quote from a Robert Heinlein story. "Always have your pants, your shoes, and your gun where you can find them in the dark." -- Anon Guest

[AN: I fixed your typos, Nonny]

The patient came in with a limb injury. Relatively harmless, but perplexing in the entry and exit trajectory. What added further confusion was the fact that they had a side-arm tangled in their toes, and a white-knuckled grip on one of their boots.

There was some evidence

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Challenge #01312-C217: Unsuitable Revival

"What's a Fairy Floss machine? Is it some kind of weapon of mass destruction?

"You probably call it Cotton Candy."

"Nope! Never heard of it."

"Look I'll show you how it works."

10 minutes and 300plus small children later.

"You know, it just might be a weapon of mass destruction." -- Anon Guest

There are phrases of doom. "Hey watch this," coming from a human, is a sure sign that something impressively dangerous is about to happen. Shayde has hundreds of them,

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Challenge #01311-C216: Relative Insanity

"Maybe you should consider it. Who knows, you might even have...” [Person] stopped and whispered conspiratorially, “fun!"

"That's not a word, I'd have heard of it," was their flat reply. They held a straight face just long enough for [Person] to look horrified before they laughed. -- RecklessPrudence

Of all the fearsome forces in the universe, none is more terrifying than these two words issuing forth from a human mouth, "I'm bored."

Rael hadn't even known that he could get shivers up

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Challenge #01302-C207: Free Falling Water

Someone from a desert community or space community - anywhere where water is an extremely finite resource - visits somewhere like England where it falls from the sky on a semipermanent basis. -- Gallifreya

If there was one thing that freshly-minted Sahra Johnston would never get used to, it was the fact that she had her own space yacht. With a crew. And cabins enough for not just her entire family, but the crew's as well. Not that the Galactic crew had

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Challenge #01301-C206: Per Ardua Ad Astra

'Fire in the Sky.' Specifically, the filk song by Dr Jordin Kare, released in '91 but remastered in '04. This song moved Buzz Aldrin to tears on national television when he first heard the remastered version, apparently. There was a competition to make a music video, and this one won. I first found the music video, a few years ago now, and I've never forgotten it. -- RecklessPrudence

"You were there for it, weren't you?"

Shayde looked up from her Kung

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Challenge #01299-C204: Explosive Food

Popcorn, either as an edible explosive or semi mindless entertainment. KnitNan

The human had hung up a hand-made sign - Explosive food preparation in progress before they produced a device and a package of dry, yellow seeds.

"Your pardon, cogniscent An'dee?" said Plyq'ix. "What is meaning, 'explosive food'?"

Andy had a very simple explanation. "It goes bang."

"Dangerous bang?"

"Surprising bang. Harmless, but surprising."

The machine whirred into life and the grains poured in. For a while, nothing much happened but rattling

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Challenge #01295-C200: Pray What You Eat Lets You Live

Fast Food franchises for Aliens. -- Anon Guest

Excerpts from A Traveller's Guide to Galactic Spaceports[Written before the advent of Unsuitable Food]:

If you are the kind of person who does not eat what they cannot identify, then beware. You may starve to death. Once you leave the realm of your familiarity, you will find all manner of things that could be edible if you are brave enough to face it.

That said, beware of attempting to purchase anything living. There

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Challenge #01294-C199: As the Station Turns

Aliens are exposed to Soap Operas and get hooked. -- KnitNan

Storytelling was not a new thing. Those species with the gift for inventing stories were more likely to find welcome, despite their status amongst Galactic Society.

Only humans had managed to conceive of a story with infinite potential to continue.

Some alien species had managed to decode the Terran transmissions, and eventually decoded the language as well. They thought it was an anthropological study of one particular human clan.

What they

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Challenge #01293-C198: Those Who Remain

Prompt: A segment of the population does not believe anyone ever walked on the moon. Some probably do not believe their species ever gained space travel. What happened to them when so many members of the population left for the stars? -- Anon Guest

Space was hard to ignore for a conspiracy theorist. It was impossible for humans to leave the Earth. Simply impossible. The fact that so many of their fellow humans were doing it was not a fact at all.

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Challenge #01292-C197: The Best Place by the Fire

http://haberdashing.tumblr.com/post/146903793739/my-fever-thoughts-the-last-two-days

There's got to be one species that's impressed by storytelling even if it's not solely humanity's "thing" in amalgam -- Gallifreya

One good thing you can plausibly state about humans is that time spent with them is never boring. Of course, that was their chief combination of blessing and curse. They were never boring.

Most species took to space for reasons of economy. Things on their homeworld were no longer easy to obtain. Yet there

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Challenge #01291-C196: Bat Rogers in the 22nd Century

I finally found the full text of this!

http://somebodiesdaughters.tumblr.com/post/118571240112/spacebat

This brave little bat has multiple video tributes on youtube (this one's my favourite, even though there's probably better ones, it's the one that's stuck with me), at least one song written specifically for them, a website, fanart, posts every year saying that we have not forgotten them, and multiple news articles about them (the one I first read, waybackwhen, was titled 'Shuttle-Riding Bat Dies

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Challenge #01290-C195: Early Confusion

"There's a ladybug in my room!"

"Did you really call me at 3AM to tell me that?"

"I'm about two seconds away from burning this place down!" -- OohLookShiny

It took Cal a minute to recalculate what the hell Ch'v'th was talking about. "...no. No. Absolutely not. No. Don't."

"But the ancient rhyme of your people..."

"...does not tell you to set your house on fire. You tell the ladybug that her house is on fire."

There was a slight pause and

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