Amalgam Universe

Challenge #01709-D248: Sticky Situation

"Crazy glue one hundred and one uses. Also known as Super Glue." -- Anon Guest

People were urgently patching holes after the micrometeor impacts. Smaller, slow-leaking holes were already patched with the humans' ever-present gum, albeit temporarily. For larger holes, they were grabbing whatever could fit and welding, bolting, and fastening as fast as they could.

Only the ships' human was using a tiny little tube before just... adding things.

Captain Farz had to admit the human was working quickly, but... what they were doing didn't at all look stable. "Human Lyle. What is it you are fastening with?"

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Challenge #01708-D247: Everything You Need

Swiss Army knife, multi tool, or the ever useful paperclip. -- Anon Guest

Every nerd who ever entered the sciences has a First Microscope. Some even kept their First Computer. More than a few kept their First Telescope.

Firsts are important. And for JOATs, it's their First Multitool. Preserved and maintained. Usually kept on display, because a great Majority of JOATs go a little wild and choose the option with the most apparent versatility. And, co-incidentally, the most weight.

Almost all of

Challenge #01704-D243: Collateral Self-sacrifice

Humans as the S&R species/Space!Rescue Dogs (I know you've seen the first part dozens of times, but this is a different chain of posts, that goes a different way) -- RecklessPrudence

Everyone knows that humans are indomitable. Against level five or above Deathworlders[1], they are dogged and determined. Against disaster, they have a thousand ways to triumph. Even the most mundane of their species has exhibited what they call hysterical strength in times of ultimate stress.

But

Challenge #01703-D242: Choose Your Face

Having avatars be cool things can lead to odd circumstances:

Our best diplomat is a KHORNE BERSERKER! Our sane and reasonable authority figure is a SITH LORD! And our moral compass is PSYCHO MANTIS! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!

(Person saying this has a Dalek avatar...)

(Now imagine this, not on a normal forum where the avatar is a small image, but in an immersive virtual environment) -- RecklessPrudence

People get the wrong impression about Greater Deregulation South-Southwest. First,

Challenge #01702-D241: Persistent Belief

Why would you... even need to hoax a moon.

Like, if you had that ability. Why would you then do it. -- RecklessPrudence

Of all the realms of human insanity, the Flat Earth Society genuinely takes every cake. The lengths to which they would go to maintain an obviously disprovable belief are beyond Galactic credulity.

Frax had the misfortune to be seated next to a member of them on the way to Whistlestop Station. And this human would not be quiet about

Challenge #01700-D237: Tougher Than You Think

So, havenworlders getting a look at this data? Alternatively, Galactic Citizens or Deathworlders from a lower category seeing one of our weak areas (like water requirements) and going "I can do better than that!"

(Same data, but with it in sane units) -- RecklessPrudence

Galactic Society shares some information for free. For example, information on what they deem to be dangerous species. Before the rediscovery of a colony world later named Amity, they shared gathered information on humans so that others could

Challenge #01699-D236: Everything You Can

"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are." - Theodore Roosevelt. -- c/- Anon Guest

Improvisation goes well with inspired desperation, so it's said. Having been marooned on more than my fair share of asteroids, I can say it's a definite thing. Many a time, my arse has been saved by the ability to bodge up a life-pod out of wreckage and whatever the asteroid was made of.

And there was one time that I got eaten by

Challenge #01698-D237: One Thing in Common

So, about those Deathworlders and their group singing/memetic hazards? -- RecklessPrudence

There were hundreds of human colonial representatives. An even third was busy having a heated argument with a second third, while the rest attempted to argue the other two groups into submission. Any moment, now, blood would be drawn and these savage Deathworlders would fly into a frenzy.

Which would not be good news for the first Ambassadorial Meet that actually welcomed these bloodthirsty, balding apes.

One of the human's

Challenge #01696-D235: Functionality

[From one person who got about three hours' sleep, to the person who dumped a new, extremely important, problem in their lap at godawful in the morning, and who they are responsible for]

"Have you slept at all, [Name]?"

"Not at all."

"You should try it sometime. I end up in less trouble when you do." -- RecklessPrudence

...by any other species standards, we just plain don't get tired. -- Archivaas Collective on Humanity's Self-realisation

The news of impending disaster was met

Challenge #01695-D234: Unlikely Survival Tactics

[Person #1]: Stop asking hard questions.

[Person #2]: Buddy, if I could stop thinking 'em, I'd stop asking 'em. -- RecklessPrudence

It's very clear that humans are gather-hunters whenever an isolating emergency occurs. Their first instinct is to gather everything they can and use that as a basis for what they do next. Often, this can be displacement activity in situations where the best course of action is to wait for the ERT to come to the rescue.

But there are other

Challenge #01694-D233: They Aren't the Champions

Something nice about all those who will never be champions but compete and play sport, and love it. -- Anon Guest

They say, do what you love, and you will never need to work again. This only really works if one is good at the thing one loves. There are people, out there, who are absolute pants at the thing they love. But they do it anyway, because love is, as the song says, strange.

Case in point, the Arse End Football

Challenge #01693-D232: The Most Dangerous Opponent

"You can’t hold a grudge forever"

“I’m not ‘holding a grudge’, I’m making decisions based on past evidence.” -- RecklessPrudence

"The humans are going to destroy all your careful plans," said the old general. "These are members of a species that coined the phrase, 'no plan ever survives first contact with the enemy'. You could try to learn from that."

The war council turned to stare and General Gerax. He was the last one to famously lose to the

Challenge #01692-D231: Items of Mass Destruction

It was hard not to admire a four-year-old who could disassemble a hygiene unit into so many pieces it took three engineers most of a duty shift to put it back together. -- RecklessPrudence

Of all the destructive items that humanity has in its collective repertoire, the two that cause the most amazement and confoundment are: the average pants pocket, and their own young. Left unsupervised, they can cause more chaos, destruction, and all-out-entropy than the tools actively designed to do so.

Challenge #01691-D230: Dangerous Lifeforms

[Name] wondered if considering that statement to be a fine example of famous last words made them unduly paranoid or just conscious of historical precedent. -- RecklessPrudence

There are numerous, common, famous last words. "I think it's going to be all right," is in the top ten. Likewise, "Hold my beer, I've got this," or, "Hey, watch this!" But of the all-time destined-to-be-last-words, Grax thought that, "Awright, silleh bugurz..." had to be a record-holder for the first prize.

Especially when it came

Challenge #01690-D229: Problems of Scale

"Lets poke it and see what it does?" famous last words or an eureka moment. -- Anon Guest

There is nothing so large and so terrifying that a human won't try to poke it. - Galactic Proverb.

Of all the terrors of the universe, black holes have to be the one that holds a universal horror. Nobody with any sense wants to be anywhere near a black hole. So, of course, humanity figured out how to get a station in a LaGrange

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A 2290-post collection

Challenge #01709-D248: Sticky Situation

Challenge #01708-D247: Everything You Need

Challenge #01704-D243: Collateral Self-sacrifice

Challenge #01703-D242: Choose Your Face

Challenge #01702-D241: Persistent Belief

Challenge #01700-D237: Tougher Than You Think

Challenge #01699-D236: Everything You Can

Challenge #01698-D237: One Thing in Common

Challenge #01696-D235: Functionality

Challenge #01695-D234: Unlikely Survival Tactics

Challenge #01694-D233: They Aren't the Champions

Challenge #01693-D232: The Most Dangerous Opponent

Challenge #01692-D231: Items of Mass Destruction

Challenge #01691-D230: Dangerous Lifeforms

Challenge #01690-D229: Problems of Scale