Amalgam Universe

Challenge #01813-D352: Everything Necessary?

Emptying your pockets/hold-all to find needed I.D. Boggling the official with the stuff you "really, truly Need". -- Anon Guest

There is no single worst thing to carry everything you need in than a gigantic pocketless tote. Especially when your needs are unfathomable.

Dithaan listed the articles as ze removed them. As is the rule with all containers that held objects of assorted sizes, the largest and bulkiest things rose to the top. "Spare jumper, emergency hygiene pack, personal medkit, tool roll, omnitool, towel, backup towel, change purse... Oh, that's where my cameras went." Four of them came out onto the counter. As did their charger plugs. "Glucose jellybeans, gum... Oh! There's my crochet kit. I thought I'd lost that forever. And there's my books, they're very good reads, all of them."

Customs Officer Grax sighed as the inventory continued. All the way down to several Standard Weight Units in loose, assorted change. Where Dithaan's ID was buried. "I can get you a beneficial exchange rate on all that planetary coinage, Mx, but... have you thought about minimising your load?"

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Challenge #01811-D350: Special Classification

Aliens vs Parrots who imitate sounds (such as water coolers or alarms) -- TheDragonsFlame

Human Steev had a pet, which was also Stiiv. It was a bird. A Terran parrot known as an African Grey for reasons that were clearly obvious. And, like most parrots, it was the devil incarnate.

Terran Parrots are officially classed as weapons of mass destruction for reasons that quickly become obvious the more time one actually spends in the presence of one. They gnaw at anything within

Challenge #01810-D349: Who's A Pretty Boy?

Aliens vs (Talkative) Parrots -- TheDragonsBlaze

It had to be a human ship. Ugly. Functional. Battle-scarred and pitted with a million micrometeor impacts. But there was frozen precipitation and high winds incoming. Nothing could survive it better than a Deathworlder ship. So Tikkotz scurried inside and hoped that the human would be benevolent.

It was a huge space. Mostly made of metal, but there were softer areas. Seating. Bedding. Hangings, for some reason. There was no trace of the human, beyond that

Challenge #01809-D348: Uncanny Interaction

We like talking to inanimate objects so much, we've started making the technology for inanimate objects to talk back. -- TheDragonsFlame

People are well known for talking to their Roombas. Technology so stupid that it doesn't know where it's been, and can barely detect when it's trapped. Never before has a single, real world device trained intelligent beings to respond to a string of musical beeps.

And after a while, customers blogged about their Stupid Roomba Tricks. Comments like, "Mine just loves

Challenge #01808-D347: In Her Hands

Those wonderful Parental Moments that begin with the "Ah! Um! Mum! Dad!" -- Anon Guest

"I... can probably explain."

"I have all day," said Lyr Marken, Security Sub-Chief for the Elemeno JOAT quarter. "And let me remind you that I am a level six precog and I foresaw this, so. Let me just give you some time to think up a plausible lie."

Elaise took a deep breath. Thought of lying, and just surrendered to telling the truth. "Okay, so there's this

Challenge #01804-D343: One Confusing Afternoon Over Mocktails at Nik's

aliens learn about the dangers of human psychopaths and other mentally ill humans -- Anon Guest

[AN: Speaking as someone who is mentally ill -ASD+Anxiety- I personally find this kind of prompt offensive as fuck. Please knock it off, Nonny]

"So these people profited off those they considered Other," said Forfax, trying to get a grip on this particular human's explanation.

"Oh aye," said the Ambassador. "They had loads o' ways."

"And then they called these Othered people lazy and insisted

Challenge #01803-D342: Emergency Haul

The humans seem to enjoy the challenge of limited capacity. For everything. Safety is much less of a priority than maximisation, and any suggestion otherwise is considered downright offensive to the humans.

It’s been a long time since humans have been allowed in charge of logistics. -- Anon Guest

"You know, if we push it, load up every cubic milli-du[1], we can get two thou' out of the disaster area. You know. Minimum essentials. Stack up the folks like cordwood.

Challenge #01802-D341: Communication Breakdown

Aliens who don't realise the importance of body language -- TheDragonsFlame

Humans are especially hard to understand, according to some species. Humans have traditions like ablaut reduplication and repetitious emphasis which make the words, "Like, like-like like," a valid portion of an explanation. And then there's the fact that they use their manipulating limbs to express themselves.

It was one of the finer points that the Cho'mago missed during their first few encounters with Humans. They were an insectoid species and, since

Challenge #01801-D340: According to Plan

> Phase 1 of our plan is complete... the internet is ours! --The Cats -- TheDragonsFlame

Everyone who knows cats believes that they are smarter than they let on. At least until their cat(s) do something demented or scatterbrained and the belief starts to have shaky grounding. Cats do this on purpose. To allay suspicions. And they leave for days on end to report to their central office. To be sure that everything is going to plan.

Unfortunately for them, their plan

Challenge #01800-D339: Your Average Away Mission

In which the active camouflage used by one species may not work on another. -- TheDragonsFlame

"The heck is this?" said the ship's human, LtCmdr Abel Jain. It rustled as ze waved it around.

"Essential equipment," said M'koi. "This is hostile territory and a pre-travel civilisation. We can't allow ourselves to be detected." He demonstrated his next words. "Wrap it around you and hunker down and you're indistinguishable from a rock."

"Apart from being bright green and noticeably fake, shyeah," said Jain.

Challenge #01799-D338: Jury's Still Out

Fun fact: Cats meow only to communicate with humans (exception: kittens) -- TheDragonsFlame

Most of the Galactic citizenry are not certain about the cogniscence levels of cats. They're on the lowest boundary of mass for hosting a cogniscent mind. They show capacity for creative problem solving. They can learn procedures, so long as they are sufficiently motivated. They show signs of social strata, co-operation, and means of communication. They even attempt communication with non-felines.

They don't meow past kittenhood, unless they are

Challenge #01797-D336: Permanent Record

Make up a new character (or use one you’ve already created) and describe them only with documents like their shopping list, the main points of their divorce papers, their apartment lease, their recent Amazon purchases, and so on. Say as much as you can about the character without actually directly describing them. -- Illuminate-Prompts

[AN: My main site is down so I can't access my usual prompt feed. Thanks for your patience with me]

Dear Diary,

This is it. This is

Challenge #01796-D335: Freedom of Choice

Humans' ability to fight on a microscopic level is widely known throughout the Galactic Alliance. They call it their “Immune System.” But it comes as a shock to their allies that the humans readily seek out microscopic organisms to strengthen their Immune Systems. Probiotics. Apparently de-activated viruses known to be deadly. -- Anon Guest

Humans are toxic. Their skin contains microbiota that many Havenworlders find to be deadly. Some of their allegedly harmless skin diseases have become the accidental ruin of worlds.

Challenge #01796-D335: Freedom of Choice

Humans' ability to fight on a microscopic level is widely known throughout the Galactic Alliance. They call it their “Immune System.” But it comes as a shock to their allies that the humans readily seek out microscopic organisms to strengthen their Immune Systems. Probiotics. Apparently de-activated viruses known to be deadly. -- Anon Guest

Humans are toxic. Their skin contains microbiota that many Havenworlders find to be deadly. Some of their allegedly harmless skin diseases have become the accidental ruin of worlds.

Challenge #01795-D334: From the Wikipedia Galactica

Humans have been in space for awhile. No-one’s keeping track of the “breeding program” but a new problem has been discovered: human offspring mid-way to maturity. The most dangerous humans of them all. -- Anon Guest

It seemed impossible. There was a stage in human development when the entire species had the maximum amount of physical condition and the minimum amount of foresight and discrimination. And worse, they were often thrust into adult classification whilst also at that stage.

Many species

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A 2290-post collection

Challenge #01813-D352: Everything Necessary?

Challenge #01811-D350: Special Classification

Challenge #01810-D349: Who's A Pretty Boy?

Challenge #01809-D348: Uncanny Interaction

Challenge #01808-D347: In Her Hands

Challenge #01804-D343: One Confusing Afternoon Over Mocktails at Nik's

Challenge #01803-D342: Emergency Haul

Challenge #01802-D341: Communication Breakdown

Challenge #01801-D340: According to Plan

Challenge #01800-D339: Your Average Away Mission

Challenge #01799-D338: Jury's Still Out

Challenge #01797-D336: Permanent Record

Challenge #01796-D335: Freedom of Choice

Challenge #01796-D335: Freedom of Choice

Challenge #01795-D334: From the Wikipedia Galactica