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Realm of the InterNutter

Thoughts, stories and ideas.

Prompt: attack of the fire-breathing sheep

(#00197)

“Lord Drixol’s castle is aflame!”

“No it isn’t, it’s a whacking great pile of stone.”

There always had to be a literalist in the crowd. “It’s on fire.“

"His creations are escaping! Run for your lives!”

“Um,” said the literalist. “It’s just one creature.“ They checked their pocket telescope. “And it appears to be a sheep.”

“Lord Drixol made a sheep?”

Three humble townsfolk looked at each other. This was not the usual kind of madman they were used to.

“Ah,” said the literalist as if that explained everything. “It’s a fire-breathing sheep.“

This, they mutually thought, was more like it.

"Fire-breathing sheep! Run for your lives!”

“Head for shelter!”

“Ready the bucket brigade!”

*

It took quite some time for the dreaded fire-breathing sheep to reach the town. It didn’t do much fire-breathing, but it did do a lot of being a sheep.

“Baaa…”

“MY AZALEAS!”

The literalist spoke up. “You know… we could probably just shoot it.“

The citizens nearby glared at him.

"What? Mutton’s tasty.”

[Muse food remaining: 13 (fic war prompts, 0). Submit a prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories!]

Prompt: the Klaus Wulfenbach Fan Club

(#00196)

“This city is now part of the Wulfenbach Empire.”

“EEEeeeeeEEEEEeeeeEEEEEeeee!”

It was not the horrified scream he was used to. These people - all underage women, he noted - were delighted to hear such news. He glared at them. None were familiar faces.

“Are you ladies… all right?”

“EEEeeeeeEEEEEeeeeEEEEEeeee!” One fainted. Three fanned themselves. Two were crying. All seemed ecstatic that he had turned his attentions their ways.

He sighed. Teenaged hysteria. It

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Challenge #00195: Beat the Beat

Vimes and Sara met once in a previous post. They meet again, but this time either Sara’s let loose in Ankh Morpork, or Vimes has to cope with Bayville.

“Tolstoy Beattitude Walkingbird!”

“I didn’t do it!”

Consciousness returned like a cat that had been up to something. Creeping in sense by sense and trying to hide behind the couch with its metaphorical tail sticking out.

Nobody was checking out his boots. Nobody was going

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im-secretly-javert: kanyegucci: stereolights: markcockpus: stereolights: nahthatsnotveryraven: in australia if a girl goes to the...

im-secretly-javert:

kanyegucci:

stereolights:

markcockpus:

stereolights:

nahthatsnotveryraven:

in australia if a girl goes to the bathroom and comes back with a seemingly random fact then you know exactly what time of the month it is

dO YOU GUYS HAVE FUCKING FUN FACTS PRINTED ON YOUR TAMPONS OR SOMETHING

they’re on pad wrappers!!!!!

image

oh my god

wait people who aren’t Australian DONT have fun facts??

No we don’t

Don’t get too upset. Some of them are erroneous.

(fucking jot,

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Challenge #00194: Miss Tiggy

How did a hedgehog even get on a space station?

“Hey, it’s me. Where can I get feeder crickets at this time o’ night?”

Rael should have guessed, then, that something was awry. Even for a well-traveled human of her era, Shayde was not overly adventurous when it came to foodstuffs. Insectivorism was definitely not, as she put it, ‘her bag’.

He checked his chrono. “There’s a night market three levels under

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I really admire your writing every day, it's great! Is there any chance you could put the collection up on Ao3 with your other work? Also,...

My excursions onto Ao3 are on hold now that I have a day job.

Basically, by the time I get myself, the brats and whatever shopping I’ve had to get done home… I’m *buggered*. I barely have enough energy to get 500 words in on my pro-WiP, let alone copy/pasting my fic archives.

Sorry it’s taking so long.

However…

When I have a years’ worth of instant stories, they will be going

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askenjonine: kierstiel: 221becquerel: zchr: what if you woke up with amnesia and all you could remember was your tumblr password and...

askenjonine:

kierstiel:

221becquerel:

zchr:

what if you woke up with amnesia and all you could remember was your tumblr password and you had to discover who you were based off your posts

“wow I sure had a thing for boats”

#’wait am i a gay man’

image

I had a weirdly rich fantasy life.

…and I’m almost aggressively feminist.

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Challenge #00193: Impossible Aftermath

Well, It all started when X fell out of a tree…

He should have known. Having precogs amongst his staff was a matter of course. Every last one of them, including the mad human Lyr Marken, had warned him.

Don’t host an Ambassadorial Meet when Silly Season is due.

Maybe it was because Lyr had warned him first. Maybe it was lingering speciesism on his part -and he would have to work on getting rid of it- that made

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George Zimmerman not guilty

This shit? Right there?

This is why the human race is considered insane.

When a white man can choose to carry a weapon and follow an unarmed black kid down and shoot him while on the phone to emergency services and still get away with it because he’s white…

While a black woman goes to jail for shooting nobody as a warning whilst attempting to defend herself from an abusive spouse…

I’m just about done with

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Challenge #00192: Awareness of Food

Prompt: The realisation that some human, somewhere, had to think drinking/eating something that came out of another animal was a good idea when no-one had done it before. ie Milk, Eggs, etc.

Rael found Lyr attempting to repeatedly stab her lunch. It was a Cop Special, refried hash made from everything that didn’t quite fit in the regular meals, mixed with egg, rice and/or potato.

“What did the hash do to you?” he asked.

“It&

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thegoddamazon: slaveinmypage: tastefullyoffensive: Useless Things You Don't Need To Know [via] I tried the last one ^^^ I know one of...

thegoddamazon:

slaveinmypage:

tastefullyoffensive:

Useless Things You Don’t Need To Know [via]

I tried the last one

^^^

I know one of these things is wrong.

The dod above a lowercase j is called a jot. The dot on the lowercase i is called an iota. It’s the crosspiece of the lowercase t that is called a tittle.

I know because I look this shit up. It’s in the dictionary, people.

My word nerdage has been avenged.

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re: 3 stories in one day- I'm sorry, I was trying to add three suggestions to the queue, I didn't expect you to do them all at once!

The way Tumblr is rigged at the moment means that once I respond to a submission or an ask, it’s gone from my inbox forever. So my options are:

1) just do one and hope I don’t forget I have two others to do by the next day [my memory is a shocking, shocking thing]

2) Do all prompts at once so that I actually don’t forget and maybe catch up a little on the days I’ve accidentally

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