The Dragon and the Banana
Redscale the Magnificent landed in a clearing near the adorable little village with the thatched-roofed cottages and blew a plume of fire into the air.
“Deliver your gold to me or face the consequences,” she roared.
Her cunning plan was immediately foiled by a native asking, “What’s gold?”
Redscale the Magnificent attempted to explain. “Uh… It’s shiny. Yellow. Comes out of the ground. Most of you squishy humans trade things with it.”
The native grinned and ran to talk with his peers. It took them a few hours, but they came back with a host of shiny, yellow…
Bananas.
“This is not gold,” she growled.
“We don’t understand. This is shiny, and yellow, and comes out of the ground and we trade with these.”
“You have no metals at all?”
“What’s metal?”
Redscale the Magnificent sighed. She couldn’t fault these humans for not having metal. She tried eating a banana from the pile of organic tribute and found it… surprisingly delicious. “Very well,” she announced imperiously. “I shall teach you of metals and you shall supply me with these. If you have a volcano anywhere nearby, I shall make my home there.”
“What’s a–?”
“Mountain?”
“What’s–?”
“Any high place at all?”
They turned a hill into a lair with the help of various stones and Redscale the Magnificent’s own fire.
They meant well, these humans. And they would need a protector from any idiot with a boat and a sword.
When the inevitable explorers came, they were going to be in for a very big surprise indeed.
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