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Realm of the InterNutter

Thoughts, stories and ideas.

Challenge #01237-C142: Strange on a Train

http://simonbitdiddle.vaul-tec.net/post/143205168842 -- Gallifreya

Ah crap. Once again, the only seat on the train home was the Weirdo Seat. The ones where all the mentally disturbed just had to sit. And anyone unlucky enough to have to sit next to them had to endure their madness by osmosis.

Euphoria Jones weighed her options. It was a long-ass ride home. Her feet were already killing her from hours chasing after idiot customer requests. Including numerous trips into "the back" to check that, once again, the store that gave her employ had never, ever, stocked the thing that the idiot customer was looking for.

Then there was the hardy perennial idiot looking for clothes in the soup aisle. And the other hardy perennial idiot who seemed to mistake a grocery store for literally anything else. Up to and including a restaurant or a no-tell motel. Moms changing a baby's pants, she could tolerate. That was a mission of urgency and mercy combined. Adults changing their pants... not so much.

And since it was that or land on the leg of a douchebro manspreading all over three seats, thus prompting him to grope her for daring to invade his more-than-ample space... she sat next to the weirdo.

Ow. God. Why did her feet hate her more when she gave them a break?

"You're very brave to sit there."

"I'm very tired to sit here," said Euphoria, desperately attempting to untangle her headphones.

"I'm a vampire."

"Congratulations." The things a pocket could do to anything boggled the minds of man. No matter how orderly the headphones were when they went away, they always came out as the modern answer to the Gordian Knot.

"I could kill you if I wanted."

Oh for fuck's sake... Euphoria snapped. "So fucking what? So could those guys over there. So could any other human on the street. So could a dog. So could a dedicated duck. You. Aren't. Special." She finally found all three ends and plugged them in.

Just before the music drowned out everything, she heard the alleged vampire say, "Jeez, the weirdoes you meet on the train."

(Muse food remaining: 25. Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories! Or comment below!)

Snafu^3

My best laid plans haven't just gone agley. They're flapping in the breeze. Pissing into the wind. Whistling Dixie.

Inertia is my enemy. I fucking hate it. And I really despise it when the object at rest happens to be people I need to do things for my. My skill set is limited. My ideas of design are either (a) antiquated, (b) fucking ugly, or (c) both. This is why I handed a concept sketch to Beloved for the EGDB logo instead

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Challenge #01236-C141: Legends and Truth

"Oh! You don't get what you want. You get what you need." -- Anon Guest.

There is a nomad who wanders the lands. He is no mendicant, nor particularly poor. He bows to no king and calls no land his home. They say he did the Fae a favour and they gave him a magic sack. Some claim it is a magic hat.

And, typical of all Fae gifts, it comes with a snag.

"What do you mean, it doesn't work like

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Plus la Change, Plus la Meme Chose

Another book, another routine. Another chain of illogic to boggle your average nypical. It goes a little something like this:

  1. Hand-writing things may be permanently portable, but transcribing it to legible text just slows me down because (a) I'm the only person who can read my handwriting (b) I can't afford to hire someone who can read my handwriting and (c) I end up reading what I've written more than typing in the thing.
  2. It really is quicker and easier for me
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Challenge #01234-C139: Slice of Life

1) http://bechnokid.tumblr.com/post/109646112332

2) It smells fantastic. It does not taste fantastic. -- Gallifreya

[AN: This will put the gap count down to 12]

1)

It had been a dark and stormy night. Now that it was a quiet and star-lit evening, Vivi had the job of helping Lewis calm down.

He never had liked thunder or lightning. And now that he was ectoplasm, he liked it even less.

Therefore, Vivi wandered the halls of their haunted house.

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Attack of the Lurgi

Of course, once winter comes, so too do the winter colds. Both my little darlings are home for a couple of days and I am beginning to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous procrastination.

Of course, delaying at writing means that I spend less time working on sorting all my beads. Now that I have a new supply of dime bags [I should really stop calling them that. Besides, my new lot are half the size of your traditional Suspicious White

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Challenge #01233-C138: Offensive Material

Last "Satan Reacts" for now: http://www.rawstory.com/2014/09/bible-pushing-christians-open-the-door-for-satanic-activity-books-in-florida-schools/ (pdf of the book here. I encourage you to look at it. If that's down, most of the pages are shown in this news article. Please take note of the words in the jumble and word search, and then consider Satan) -- RecklessPrudence

Obviously, the scene was staged. Whoever did the staging wanted it to seem like the local chapter of LaVeyan Satanists had done the deed. They had littered

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Winter has hit

I know it's not officially winter yet, but you can't fool my bod. All the signs are here. It's dark in the morning. The incidences of Lurgi are increasing. I need a jumper and a huge box of tissues in the morning... and the heater is staying on without anyone wanting to turn it off.

It's very hard to get out of bed in the AM.

I've removed the non-helpful insole from my boots, and that has been very helpful in getting

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Challenge #01232-C137: A Strange Visitor

"What could be worse than a sixty Minutes News van waiting on the footpath?"

"How about a large Blue box, and people are taking selfies." -- Anon Guest

Carol looked out the other window in her tiny flat. The view was blurry, because it was the bathroom window, but there was, indeed, a familiar shape in the street. Either the BBC had deigned to acknowledge Australia as a filming location... or someone was playing silly buggers.

She texted the other top five

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URGH

You ever have one of those days where everything and everyone seems to be conspiring against you to make sure every last one of your plans fucks up? Even the very elements of nature seem to be against you.

That's been my entire week.

The beads I thought were fine - aren't. If I want to pump out earrings at any speed, I have to delay by making my own pins out of the aforementioned scary thin wire. Which means I have

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Challenge #01231-C136: Humorous Revelation

Human's reaction on realising they share a vessel with Captain K'rik, Doctor M'koi, and Ensign Ch'koff (is there a Lieutenant Spukk too?) -- Gallifreya

[AN: I had been wondering when someone would clue in. And for the record, Jain holds the position of Spock]

If there was one stereotypical behaviour that belonged to humans - besides their suicidal combination of curiosity and insanity - it would have to be their love of gadgets.

Doctor M'Koi watched with growing skepticism as the human

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SNAFU^2

Turns out that a shockingly large number of my seed beads don't fit on a standard pin. This is something of a major flaw in beads, generally. If they don't fit onto the findings - what the fuck are you supposed to do?

It would cost me more to send them back, so my plan is - use what I can and get beads from a different mob when I run out of useful ones.

Also - find a profitable use for

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Challenge #01230-C135: So This is How I Die

http://haberdashing.tumblr.com/post/143039331394/memeufacturing-human-after-being-stabbed-four -- Gallifreya

There are games the mind plays in extremis. One of its favourites is Hallucinations. But when the imagination is lacking or the mind is sufficiently aware of reality, the mind defaults to Good News, Bad News.

Good News, there is still air.

Bad News, it is filling with smoke.

Good News, there is still gravity.

Bad News, I am on my back.

Q'riikix, known to the humans in the crew as "Queasy", rattled

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::inchoate groan::

There is not enough coffee in my house to help me deal with today. There may not be enough coffee in the shops to help me deal with today. The world... might have enough coffee to help me deal with today.

Why?

Because I firkin woke up at midnight and had spotty sleep thereafter. Which does not do a damn thing to assist in my feelings towards peace, love, or your average mung bean.

That on top of the trip there and

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Challenge #01229-C134: One Random Encounter Inside Walter Manor.

Sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.

Sufficiently analyzed magic is indistinguishable from technology.

... and then there's that thing in the corner. -- Anon Guest

"Bonjour," said the thing. It seemed cheerful enough. It seemed human enough, provided that one was sufficiently myopic and without their glasses. It's heart was definitely not in the right place, given that it was both outside its clothing and sparkling with its own inner lights.

"What is it doing here?" said Lorraine. The Walter Worker assigned

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