InterNutter

Indie writer seeks audience with an audience. Paying customers welcome. [pronouns: ze/hir] Daily free stories happen because it is an excellent counter to Writers' Block.

Burpengary East http://www.cmweller.com 12165 posts

Challenge #01223-C128: Known Behavioural Patterns

:[Name] thinks while hiding and sneaking with new-found allies from and around old enemies:

[Name] started a mental drinking game for the disgusted comments about how this was not running a search pattern, and the amount of things it couldn’t find, but gave up when they realized they’d mentally gotten alcohol poisoning. -- RecklessPrudence

This had to be the biggest collection of obligatory stupid guards and bad base planning since someone let a three-year-old play Fortress Defence Jr. Jain had already stopped cataloguing their rookie mistakes into a drinking game after she had mentally given herself alcohol poisoning.

"It's going to be easy. Why are you waiting?" Karol had long since stopped whispering. The guards were evidently blind and deaf.

"Because," said Jain, "There has to be a catch. Nothing is this easy."

"They're Havenworlders, they don't know any better. Remember how the prison was made out of sugar?"

"Yes, but they're also Havenworlders who tried to keep humans prisoner. Either they're that stupid... or this is some kind of strategy."

Meanwhile, in the Faa'ree fortress...

"What's taking them so long?" whined the chief.

"According to all our reports, they should have already stolen that deadly artefact."

"How hard is it to get a human to pick up a weapon of mass destruction?"

Tol'tol, watching the humans by remote, sighed. "Do you think we made it too obvious?"

K'kal looked around at the "No Humans" pictograms and the assorted hazard signs, the arrows with skulls pointing in the direction of the artefact, the imposing-looking doors and other means by which any idiot would know that this was the place were all the cool stuff was... and shook hir head. "No. Not really. I think we may have fallen on the subtle side."

(Muse food remaining: 31. Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories! Or comment below!)

Beloved bought me Factorio!

So you know where the rest of my weekend is going. Lol.

But first, my usual nonse and a call to MeMum. Because family is important and all that.

And in the unlikely event that I get bored with Factorio (more likely to be waiting for my machines to accomplish a thing) I have beads to sort. Small beads. Which means that I finally busted out my Aldi's magnifying lamp. Huzzah.

Good stuff: No assembly required.

Bad stuff: I need the right

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Challenge #01222-C127: Phrases of Doom

Person #1: Do not worry! I will fix it...

Person #2: You know, [Name], there are certain phrases in our language - such as that one - that simply cannot imply a good outcome. Do you know what I mean?

Person #1: Wow! This really DOES bond skin instantly!

Person #2: Good example. -- RecklessPrudence

Certain phrases imply impending doom. Whenever someone says, "What else can go wrong?" the universe is likely to answer with a supremely painful example.

Whenever a human

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Intense, repetative, and thankless

All efforts to translate Adapting into Markup by automated means have failed abominably. Which means that I am left with copy-pasting text and then editing in the italics.

And when I've had enough of doing that, I go to my unsorted beads and frelling sort some of those shits out.

The lovely spouted bowl MeMum found for me is not that great with small, faceted beads. Those little shits tend to clump, so pouring large volumes of them into wee baggies is

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Challenge #01221-C126: Executive Decisions

I see you have complaints about out Giant Robot Spider help program, We apologies for any Inconvenience this may have caused you.

Do to your complaint the following actions have been taken: Giant Robot Spiders have been dispatched to your location.

We know you had a choice of Aid providers and we thank you for your continued support. -- RecklessPrudence

Say what you will about the robot rescue spiders, and many citizens frequently did, but they were extremely effective. They saved hundreds

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Knuckle down, buckle down...

I'm doing my first edit on Adapting today. I might even convince myself to transfer the entire text into Markup, so that Beloved will have an easier time making it dance for me. The more work I do beforehand, the less time it takes for Beloved to have it ready for any beta readers.

I'm thinking of sending out a new appeal. I can rely on MeMum and a single Friendo, and if I am lucky and can get Beloved to get

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Challenge #01220-C125: A Return Visit

http://www.internutter.org/challenge-01072-b340/

He keeps coming back... -- Anon Guest

Arthur saw him two weeks after his initial visit. He calmly collected the mail and, once inside, said something about it. "Hey, Lewis. You remember that cam guy who broke in a while back?"

"Yeah, he was trying to communicate with a Deadbeat. Why?"

"He's lurking in the foliage and watching the house."

Lewis, in the middle of a complicated recipe, groaned to himself. "If he's still there in half

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Beads, glorious beads!

I've got loads of the fuckers, and I'm planning to get some more. Turns out the local post office has a jewellery stand with some interesting pieces I could definitely use. Alas, I have to wait for next payday.

So if I am still going there to collect parcels, I might grab me some nice looking beads to fluff out my already huge collection of interesting shiny things.

MeMum managed to secure a good two kilos or so from her own sources.

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Challenge #01219-C124: The Truth About Dragons

http://crescentmoondemon.tumblr.com/post/142716976033 -- Anon Guest

They say that dragons are terrifying beasts. They say that their appetites know no bounds. They say that they thrive on fear. They say that they hoard things just to keep them from mortal hands. They say a lot of things, really. Especially after they've had a few pints, down at the local pub.

Eve knew differently.

For starters, Dragons are more than fine with a sheep or a cow once a month.

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::Zombie Chewbacca noises::

Woke up at roughly 1:30 AM. Spotty, intermittent sleep until 5AM when my braid decided that, yes, going into slumber was a great idea.

And then, half an hour later, Rabbit started saying 'good morning' to everyone. 5:30 Am, after a rough night like that one, is the time that I least appreciate Steam Powered Giraffe. But I get over it quickly enough.

My gaseous plans to fetch batteries or shop around for cabochons on the cheap are currently shelved.

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Challenge #01218-C123: A Big, Wet, Sloppy... Hug?

Just a snippet from a very enjoyable story, stripped of gender-specific terms:

..."I will hug you," they threatened, spreading their arms... -- RecklessPrudence

"It's impossible to swim through the Glunk and survive!"

Exhibit A, still dripping an pungent, unidentifiable goop, said, "Desperate times, all th' wards I could muster, an' some bluidy good air pockets, ye ken."

Rael, summoned to the scene, hadn't recognised her until she spoke. "Ambassador Shayde?"

She saluted him. But carefully, so that none of the glop adhering

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Miss Chaos is 11 today!

Eleven years ago, my life was made infinitely more interesting by the arrival of a slightly strange little girl.

Yesterday, she got as much purple and sparkle as we could mutually supply. Sometimes in the same thing.

And she also got to run around like a mad thing at Calamvale district park for a majority of the day. Good news - I can do moderately stable braid crowns by doing additive braids all the way around and then weaving the ends through

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Challenge #01217-C122: Curses!

:when a person who has been living with their curse for some time decides to stand up for the abused, and Sanctioned Mages try to put them down:

Spell slinging against a cursed one and a legendary sword. How hard can it be? -- RecklessPrudence

The words had come in anger and magic. Latching onto her soul. Devouring her destiny with simple words, "You will fail at every one of your stated goals."

It hadn't meant much, at first. Her goals had

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Party time!

I've done my math on the matter and I reckon we should take off for our party at the park long about 9. That gives us enough time to get there, fetch MeMum, and do any other setting up before everyone else gets there.

It's just immediate family. We had no time to invite friends. And it's probably for the best because Chaos gets overstimulated just thinking about parties. Having a host of folks, food, and presents there might make her vibrate

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Challenge #01216-C121: Not Under My Roof

There's the problem! You weren't thinking! Now you've made a pre-teen a nuclear power! -- RecklessPrudence

"In my defense," began Sara.

"You keep your big mouth shut," demanded Jaquelline.

"Will the both of you please be quiet?" asked Sam. "Do I need to bring out the talking stick?"

"There's no point. It doesn't work," said Sara. "Mother just rages off on a topic if someone says a hot word."

"Do you see the insolence of this child, Samuel? The things I have

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