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InterNutter

Indie writer seeks audience with an audience. Paying customers welcome. [pronouns: ze/hir] Daily free stories happen because it is an excellent counter to Writers' Block.

Burpengary East http://www.cmweller.com 12165 posts

Challenge #01240-C145: New Tricks

I accidentally summoned a demon and have won the last 4 rounds of poker against it. -- Gallifreya

Sandy sighed and said, "You're not supposed to show me the cards and ask, 'how do I win?', Belphagor."

"You keep changing the rules," grumbled the demon.

"No, I keep telling you the same rules and you keep getting confused. Let's try again," Sandy reclaimed the cards and shuffled. "I thought the demons of hell were all about sinful stuff."

The demon brightened. "Oh yes! We dishonour our parents and covet our neighbours chattels all the time!"

"What, no cigarettes and whisky and wild, wild women?" Four cards each. Two down on the table, face up. "Remember, you're trying to make the best hand out of what you've got and what you can see. You get one chance to swap out the bad cards."

Belphagor put all of his cards towards Sandy. "Four, please."

Sandy sighed and turned over his cards. "You had half a straight flush with this lot, what the heck?"

"They don't match."

And given his trouble with Snap, there were obvious reasons why she shouldn't have tried teaching him poker. "Ugh. We both suck at this..."

(Muse food remaining: 22. Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories! Or comment below!)

Wish me luck

The rains of last night have buggered off and it's looking like it's going to be a lovely, sunny day. And today, Beloved is home, so I finally have a chance to edit KFZ and start trawling for agents.

New York is the place to look, apparently. Those are the agents with the global scope and reach.

Beloved's focus will be on making a thing to hold a pen so we can print out those earring cards at firkin last. But I

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Challenge #01239-C144: Read Before Signing

I accidentally summoned a demon -- Gallifreya

Belphagor looked around. It was a dusty old book shop. One of those poky little places that almost, but not quite, lead to another reality. The shopkeepers certainly seemed like they had once lived in one, and never quite got the hang of the new reality.

Facing him was an art student. They had to be an art student because the homeless tended to consume way less coffee. And your average bum tended to care

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Good morning

Once again, my fucked-up sleep cycle strikes in the wee small hours. I plan to use it to my advantage, though. You all get your instant story ahead of time, and I get a day of luxurious loafing.

The only downside for me is that I'll have to update my master files when I finally exit my bedroom. Yay for laptops, boo for non-cloud files.

Pretty sure the Google editor does rich text and not plain text. That could plausibly fuck up

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Challenge #01238-C143: Harrying the Harmful

"They turned me into a newt!"

"... You're a salamander."

"I got better." -- Gallifreya

[AN: A little tip of the hat-rack to Monty Python?]

The Swamps of Misdirection. The only way to escape them, once inside, was to follow confusing, convoluted, "can't miss it" directions to somewhere else. And worse - most of the animals in it were capable of speech.

"Beware, traveller! Beware! Dangerous sorcerers roam this swamp." The speaker was a small amphibian. Mostly black, but with interestingly bright speckles

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*Determination*

I am going to make something today. I am done with sorting the cabochons. The only pile of unsorted beads I have is a baggie of random reds, and I am not touching those until I have done. One. Firkin. PAIR.

I am going to make earrings until I am sick of it, or I have sample examples of each of my pride flag earrings firkin DONE. Whichever happens first.

Then, and only then, will I indulge my OCD aspect and sort

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Challenge #01237-C142: Strange on a Train

http://simonbitdiddle.vaul-tec.net/post/143205168842 -- Gallifreya

Ah crap. Once again, the only seat on the train home was the Weirdo Seat. The ones where all the mentally disturbed just had to sit. And anyone unlucky enough to have to sit next to them had to endure their madness by osmosis.

Euphoria Jones weighed her options. It was a long-ass ride home. Her feet were already killing her from hours chasing after idiot customer requests. Including numerous trips into "the back"

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Snafu^3

My best laid plans haven't just gone agley. They're flapping in the breeze. Pissing into the wind. Whistling Dixie.

Inertia is my enemy. I fucking hate it. And I really despise it when the object at rest happens to be people I need to do things for my. My skill set is limited. My ideas of design are either (a) antiquated, (b) fucking ugly, or (c) both. This is why I handed a concept sketch to Beloved for the EGDB logo instead

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Challenge #01236-C141: Legends and Truth

"Oh! You don't get what you want. You get what you need." -- Anon Guest.

There is a nomad who wanders the lands. He is no mendicant, nor particularly poor. He bows to no king and calls no land his home. They say he did the Fae a favour and they gave him a magic sack. Some claim it is a magic hat.

And, typical of all Fae gifts, it comes with a snag.

"What do you mean, it doesn't work like

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Plus la Change, Plus la Meme Chose

Another book, another routine. Another chain of illogic to boggle your average nypical. It goes a little something like this:

  1. Hand-writing things may be permanently portable, but transcribing it to legible text just slows me down because (a) I'm the only person who can read my handwriting (b) I can't afford to hire someone who can read my handwriting and (c) I end up reading what I've written more than typing in the thing.
  2. It really is quicker and easier for me
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Challenge #01234-C139: Slice of Life

1) http://bechnokid.tumblr.com/post/109646112332

2) It smells fantastic. It does not taste fantastic. -- Gallifreya

[AN: This will put the gap count down to 12]

1)

It had been a dark and stormy night. Now that it was a quiet and star-lit evening, Vivi had the job of helping Lewis calm down.

He never had liked thunder or lightning. And now that he was ectoplasm, he liked it even less.

Therefore, Vivi wandered the halls of their haunted house.

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Attack of the Lurgi

Of course, once winter comes, so too do the winter colds. Both my little darlings are home for a couple of days and I am beginning to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous procrastination.

Of course, delaying at writing means that I spend less time working on sorting all my beads. Now that I have a new supply of dime bags [I should really stop calling them that. Besides, my new lot are half the size of your traditional Suspicious White

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Challenge #01233-C138: Offensive Material

Last "Satan Reacts" for now: http://www.rawstory.com/2014/09/bible-pushing-christians-open-the-door-for-satanic-activity-books-in-florida-schools/ (pdf of the book here. I encourage you to look at it. If that's down, most of the pages are shown in this news article. Please take note of the words in the jumble and word search, and then consider Satan) -- RecklessPrudence

Obviously, the scene was staged. Whoever did the staging wanted it to seem like the local chapter of LaVeyan Satanists had done the deed. They had littered

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Winter has hit

I know it's not officially winter yet, but you can't fool my bod. All the signs are here. It's dark in the morning. The incidences of Lurgi are increasing. I need a jumper and a huge box of tissues in the morning... and the heater is staying on without anyone wanting to turn it off.

It's very hard to get out of bed in the AM.

I've removed the non-helpful insole from my boots, and that has been very helpful in getting

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Challenge #01232-C137: A Strange Visitor

"What could be worse than a sixty Minutes News van waiting on the footpath?"

"How about a large Blue box, and people are taking selfies." -- Anon Guest

Carol looked out the other window in her tiny flat. The view was blurry, because it was the bathroom window, but there was, indeed, a familiar shape in the street. Either the BBC had deigned to acknowledge Australia as a filming location... or someone was playing silly buggers.

She texted the other top five

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