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A 4963-post collection

Challenge #01295-C200: Pray What You Eat Lets You Live

Fast Food franchises for Aliens. -- Anon Guest

Excerpts from A Traveller's Guide to Galactic Spaceports[Written before the advent of Unsuitable Food]:

If you are the kind of person who does not eat what they cannot identify, then beware. You may starve to death. Once you leave the realm of your familiarity, you will find all manner of things that could be edible if you are brave enough to face it.

That said, beware of attempting to purchase anything living. There are many forms of pets, and there are many more forms of adoption. That creature that resembles a pig just might be a cogniscent infant.

Your best investment for travelling is the Omniscanner. It takes in all forms of ambient radiation and transforms it into data you can understand. You won't look a fool for waving it at everything, but you will look a fool for buying an unwanted child, and then attempting to offer it in trade for a meal made out of one of its cuts.

Cogniphagia is frowned upon throughout all civilized space.

One thing you will not find in the larger Galactic Spaceports is fast food franchises. The concept of a ready-made meal exists, but ready-made meals that are long-term unhealthy are not encouraged. There are laws protecting all Galactics from accidental poisoning and, if the chef is not familiar with your biological needs, you are solely responsible for what you ingest.

The Omniscanner is your friend. You can set it to monitor your biology and alert you to what your body needs. Otherwise, let your nose be your guide. If you see something cooking, you can bet it's food. Be certain to scan the menu, just in case.

And do not be alarmed about table manners. Galactic manners are so varied from planet to planet that the only concern is that you don't make a mess.

(Muse food remaining: 10. Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories! Or comment below!)

Challenge #01294-C199: As the Station Turns

Aliens are exposed to Soap Operas and get hooked. -- KnitNan

Storytelling was not a new thing. Those species with the gift for inventing stories were more likely to find welcome, despite their status amongst Galactic Society.

Only humans had managed to conceive of a story with infinite potential to continue.

Some alien species had managed to decode the Terran transmissions, and eventually decoded the language as well. They thought it was an anthropological study of one particular human clan.

What they

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Challenge #01293-C198: Those Who Remain

Prompt: A segment of the population does not believe anyone ever walked on the moon. Some probably do not believe their species ever gained space travel. What happened to them when so many members of the population left for the stars? -- Anon Guest

Space was hard to ignore for a conspiracy theorist. It was impossible for humans to leave the Earth. Simply impossible. The fact that so many of their fellow humans were doing it was not a fact at all.

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Challenge #01292-C197: The Best Place by the Fire

http://haberdashing.tumblr.com/post/146903793739/my-fever-thoughts-the-last-two-days

There's got to be one species that's impressed by storytelling even if it's not solely humanity's "thing" in amalgam -- Gallifreya

One good thing you can plausibly state about humans is that time spent with them is never boring. Of course, that was their chief combination of blessing and curse. They were never boring.

Most species took to space for reasons of economy. Things on their homeworld were no longer easy to obtain. Yet there

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Challenge #01291-C196: Bat Rogers in the 22nd Century

I finally found the full text of this!

http://somebodiesdaughters.tumblr.com/post/118571240112/spacebat

This brave little bat has multiple video tributes on youtube (this one's my favourite, even though there's probably better ones, it's the one that's stuck with me), at least one song written specifically for them, a website, fanart, posts every year saying that we have not forgotten them, and multiple news articles about them (the one I first read, waybackwhen, was titled 'Shuttle-Riding Bat Dies

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Challenge #01290-C195: Early Confusion

"There's a ladybug in my room!"

"Did you really call me at 3AM to tell me that?"

"I'm about two seconds away from burning this place down!" -- OohLookShiny

It took Cal a minute to recalculate what the hell Ch'v'th was talking about. "...no. No. Absolutely not. No. Don't."

"But the ancient rhyme of your people..."

"...does not tell you to set your house on fire. You tell the ladybug that her house is on fire."

There was a slight pause and

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Challenge #01289-C194: Sure it Followed You Home

A zbornak is not a pet. Yes even if it looks like a space horse and is wearing a saddle and bridle. Now let's bring her back where you found her.

Man I wish we spoke the same language... How do you apologise for your kid in pantomime.... -- Gallifreya

[AN: Language has never been a problem in WOY... interesting, that]

Sylvia knew they weren't in the Kan'zass galaxy, any more, but this took some kind of cake. First she'd lost Wander,

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Challenge #01288-C193: The Nature of Strength

Wander is supernaturally strong and doesn't realise this is a big deal -- Gallifreya

She saw it, now and again, whenever things got really tight. Wander could and would carry the weight of a world on his back. And once, he literally did it. Okay, so it was a small planet, as planets went. But that wasn't the point.

He either didn't know his own strength, or he hid it most of the time. It was only when he forgot himself that

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Challenge #01287-C192: So Like Immunity

The immune system is constantly walking the razor thin edge between doing sweet fuck all and killing you as collateral damage in an apocalyptic war. -- RecklessPrudence

They said that humans were much like their own immune system. Q'voth took that to mean that they were proof against anything that wanted to kill them. There was no way that a direct attack would work.

Therefore, Q'voth played the long game. Ingratiating her people with the humans. Infiltrating their everyday life. Whittling away

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Challenge #01285-C190: 'Imaginary' Friends

1) http://solitaria-fantasma.tumblr.com/post/146478879812/maroonknight14-oh-mother-of-darkness-concept-a Superman (or another super-hearing entity) and the child who has them as an imaginary friend

2) Parent thinks child has imaginary friend. It's not imaginary. -- Anon Guest

1)

"...mom puts shredded pizza cheese on top of the store lasagna? And that makes it super good? She likes it 'cause of how we can feed the whole fambly for seven dollars."

Shawna peeked in on Clemaine, who was sitting by her window and talking

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Challenge #01284-C189: Bright Spark

"When in doubt?"

"Fire!" -- OohLookShiny

[AN: Welcome to the madness. Please put your best URL here so I can link to you in future :D]

Of all the people in the universe who the Doctor despised, it was the people who had one solution for everything. Some, though, could learn from experience and not instinctively react with five rounds rapid. That was one of the reasons he loved the Brigadeer. Even though five rounds rapid was his default stance.

And then

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Challenge #01283-C188: Steep Learning Curve

Names of recordings of training scenarios.

"Ode to places a cutting torch should never go"

"Three drones, one airlock and no sense"

And the cautionary tale about plasma torches, hypergolic fuel and explosive decompression simply entitled: "Don't" -- RecklessPrudence

Human training videos were baffling. They seemed designed to entertain, but also contained the full, gruesome consequences in order to horrify their audience into learning the lesson.

Newbies, it seemed, were suicidally incompetent. Sometimes, they were also homicidally so. And chief amongst their

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Challenge #01282-C187: Boredom Unbecoming

Something for the SPOEns: "Words are perhaps the most vulgar of all of humanity’s inventions, in that there is no benefit in keeping them sacred and locked away. Their true magic only takes place when they are read and spoken by many." -- RecklessPrudence

Rael looked at the quote on the graffiti wall. Then he looked at the larger tangle of artistic font that sprawled across the greater effort. Once decoded, it read, Evolve or die!. And worse, Shayde had written

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Challenge #01281-C186: Monarch of the Stage

[Person #1], along with the dry wit and perfect sarcasm and near-unflappable calm, is a secret drama queen. Like, [Person #2]'s a Drama Queen, but [Person #1]'s at least the drama princess of a small kingdom in disguise. -- RecklessPrudence

Kel had been attempting to unriddle Lord Auditor Vorkosigan for some time. An effort not even slightly assisted by the fact that he was training new staff. Far from home. In the middle of an emergency.

And, unfortunately for all

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Challenge #01280-C185: One Smoke-filled Afternoon in a Very Special School

Almost causing the apocalypse is an important part of growing up.

(Everyone should do it at least once) -- RecklessPrudence

Smoke was all that remained of the conflagration, and holes in the masonry were the only hint left that a giant robot had found a new means of egress.

"What have we learned, today?" said Mrs Calgary.

Three small children toed the ground as they swung back and forth in their place. "Don' touch th' red button," they chorused.

"Especially when...?" prompted

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