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Challenge #01248-C153: Tired of the Same Ol'

"But I'm tired of being the villain! I know the series needs a villain, why does it have to be me?" fed up character or actor stuck with "Bad person" roles. -- Knitnan

"Why can't I actually conquer the galaxy? Would that really be so bad?"

Wander looked at the camera. Then he looked to Sylvia, who just shrugged. "Uh, probably?" said Sylvia. "Face it, Hater. If you were running things around here, everything would be terrible for everybody. Why'd you even want to rule the galaxy anyway?"

"So I could make lots of people love me and get all the pretty girls. DUH!"

"That's it?" both heroes chorused.

"Well of course that's it. Isn't it why anyone does anything?"

"Uh. No," said Sylvia.

Wander let out his Zen side, "Those who seek to prosper for selfish reasons, do not gain in the end."

"You could try doing good," suggested Sylvia. "I promise it won't hurt."

It did, but not in the ways that Hater predicted.

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Challenge #01246-C151: Slice of Life With a Demon

1) "Ignoring the severed heads in the closet does not make for a good relationship. It makes for an unsanitary closet and possible accessory charges."

2) How to Train Your Hellhound -- Gallifreya

[AN: This takes the gap count down to 11]

1)

"NIIIIIIIIILLLLSSS!" That was not the come-here-I-am-in-trouble shriek. That was the come-here-you-are-in-trouble shriek. As a demon in the pits of Hell, he had feared little but the wrath of his master. Now on the Earth, little ever scared

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Challenge #01245-C150: Angels Well Aware

Sleazy Televangelist of the "Give me your money! And God will Love you!" variety gets an angel. -- KnitNan

"...what does it mean when God sends an Angel? It means something momentous. It means that God himself has a mission for you. It means that the almighty architect of this glorious earth has selected you. Personally. To be His agent on this sorry world. And you'd better behave yourself because HE! IS! WATCHING!"

'Reverend' Tommy Thompson watched his broadcast. Making notes for

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Challenge #01244-C149: Temptations Bakery Origin Story

http://cuppykin.tumblr.com/post/127886086419/how-nightmare-demon-met-his-gf

"How Nightmare Demon met his GF

Demon:MORTAL, you are a lucky one, I HAVE CHOSEN YOU TO BE MY DINNER FOR THIS EVENING, BEG IF YOU WANT BUT I'M TAKING YOUR SOUL AND BODY

Tiny GF:Oh, you're hungry? Well I just ate dinner by myself but I am making dessert.

Demon:Well I think you missed the point but-

Demon:I smell sweets

Tiny GF:They're fudge brownies, I usually eat them by

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Challenge #01243-C148: Morning People

http://kenzyshipseverything.tumblr.com/post/126911368896/nicckpetricca-this-video-is-actually-my

Imagine your otp -- Anon Guest

Music was playing. Something ancient from the Vault, shared on something called a 'mix tape' by Ambassador Shayde into Lyr's personal file collection. Whatever it was, it was too jumpy to be morning music.

Jule attempted to burrow under the covers without moving much. Why his best-beloved had to be so darn frenetic on the mornings of her holidays was a mystery. This was their mutual time off. They

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Challenge #01242-C147: Confused in Translation

http://haberdashing.tumblr.com/post/143298955329/motorizedduck-translating-is-hard-work-even -- Gallifreya

"It is... ah... what is word? A means of communicating when no longer present. Wisdom to be passing down from generations. Time... pressed...into formats for sharing."

"That," said M'llix, "Sounds rather impressive."

"No. Not being impressive. Is much common," said the human. "So everywhere that is ignored. People using for profession considered not having real profession. Is basis for all entertainments, but overlooked. Children is learning from young age, mastery of such.

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Challenge #01241-C146: Useful Pretty

http://sinnamon-skull.tumblr.com/post/143302850386/villyre-headcanon-ford-got-out-of-90-of-his

(comic has gravity falls spoilers after "not what he seems") -- Gallifreya

On one hand, it was a little bit tiresome. On the other, it was damned convenient. All he had to do was make sure his glasses were in his pocket before they bundled him up for delivery and...

They tossed him onto his knees.

"So," said a soft voice. "This is the creature that Cipher wishes to eliminate? Huh."

Yep. Right on cue.

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Challenge #01240-C145: New Tricks

I accidentally summoned a demon and have won the last 4 rounds of poker against it. -- Gallifreya

Sandy sighed and said, "You're not supposed to show me the cards and ask, 'how do I win?', Belphagor."

"You keep changing the rules," grumbled the demon.

"No, I keep telling you the same rules and you keep getting confused. Let's try again," Sandy reclaimed the cards and shuffled. "I thought the demons of hell were all about sinful stuff."

The demon brightened.

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Challenge #01239-C144: Read Before Signing

I accidentally summoned a demon -- Gallifreya

Belphagor looked around. It was a dusty old book shop. One of those poky little places that almost, but not quite, lead to another reality. The shopkeepers certainly seemed like they had once lived in one, and never quite got the hang of the new reality.

Facing him was an art student. They had to be an art student because the homeless tended to consume way less coffee. And your average bum tended to care

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Challenge #01238-C143: Harrying the Harmful

"They turned me into a newt!"

"... You're a salamander."

"I got better." -- Gallifreya

[AN: A little tip of the hat-rack to Monty Python?]

The Swamps of Misdirection. The only way to escape them, once inside, was to follow confusing, convoluted, "can't miss it" directions to somewhere else. And worse - most of the animals in it were capable of speech.

"Beware, traveller! Beware! Dangerous sorcerers roam this swamp." The speaker was a small amphibian. Mostly black, but with interestingly bright speckles

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Challenge #01237-C142: Strange on a Train

http://simonbitdiddle.vaul-tec.net/post/143205168842 -- Gallifreya

Ah crap. Once again, the only seat on the train home was the Weirdo Seat. The ones where all the mentally disturbed just had to sit. And anyone unlucky enough to have to sit next to them had to endure their madness by osmosis.

Euphoria Jones weighed her options. It was a long-ass ride home. Her feet were already killing her from hours chasing after idiot customer requests. Including numerous trips into "the back"

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Challenge #01236-C141: Legends and Truth

"Oh! You don't get what you want. You get what you need." -- Anon Guest.

There is a nomad who wanders the lands. He is no mendicant, nor particularly poor. He bows to no king and calls no land his home. They say he did the Fae a favour and they gave him a magic sack. Some claim it is a magic hat.

And, typical of all Fae gifts, it comes with a snag.

"What do you mean, it doesn't work like

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Challenge #01234-C139: Slice of Life

1) http://bechnokid.tumblr.com/post/109646112332

2) It smells fantastic. It does not taste fantastic. -- Gallifreya

[AN: This will put the gap count down to 12]

1)

It had been a dark and stormy night. Now that it was a quiet and star-lit evening, Vivi had the job of helping Lewis calm down.

He never had liked thunder or lightning. And now that he was ectoplasm, he liked it even less.

Therefore, Vivi wandered the halls of their haunted house.

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Challenge #01233-C138: Offensive Material

Last "Satan Reacts" for now: http://www.rawstory.com/2014/09/bible-pushing-christians-open-the-door-for-satanic-activity-books-in-florida-schools/ (pdf of the book here. I encourage you to look at it. If that's down, most of the pages are shown in this news article. Please take note of the words in the jumble and word search, and then consider Satan) -- RecklessPrudence

Obviously, the scene was staged. Whoever did the staging wanted it to seem like the local chapter of LaVeyan Satanists had done the deed. They had littered

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Challenge #01232-C137: A Strange Visitor

"What could be worse than a sixty Minutes News van waiting on the footpath?"

"How about a large Blue box, and people are taking selfies." -- Anon Guest

Carol looked out the other window in her tiny flat. The view was blurry, because it was the bathroom window, but there was, indeed, a familiar shape in the street. Either the BBC had deigned to acknowledge Australia as a filming location... or someone was playing silly buggers.

She texted the other top five

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