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A 4905-post collection

Challenge #01441-C346: Stranger Friends

Wander and Sylvia

1) With Stanford Pines

2) With Dipper and Mabel -- Anon Guest

[AN: This will put me one ahead for Yule. Huzzah]

The Stan o' War II, somewhere in the Bermuda triangle...

"Engines on full, Stanley! It's got us in its vortex!"

"They're already on full, poindexter. You want more power, grab an oar and paddle."

"Say, you folks look like you're in a spot of trouble," said a new voice.

The speaker was a hairy, orange... thing... seemingly riding a blue... thing... with a red crest. The hairy orange one had a large, green hat as the only other item of clothing but his shoes and socks. They were floating inside a gigantic... pink... bubble.

"Can we help?" said his mount.

Stan looked at Ford, who looked back. They shared shrugs.

"Okay," said Ford, "But if you try any rectal probing, you're going to have a fight."

"Euw," said the orange thing. "Customs around here are downright strange..." He shrugged and dismounted. "Ready, Sylvia?"

The blue thing stretched and cracked her knuckles, "Ready, Wander."

The orange one -Wander- Blew another gigantic pink bubble, which neatly encapsulated the ship. High and dry above the vortex. The blue thing -Sylvia- hoisted the ship onto her back, lifted Wander in a flip up to the deck. "Hi there, I'm Wander, I wander the galaxy lookin' for folks to help. Sylvia's my faithful steed and best friend. Do you mind gettin' dropped off by the nearest land mass?"

"Oh, that'd be great," said Ford. "We're Stanford and Stanley Pines. Brothers, adventurers, and occasional treasure hunters."

"Yeah for real interesting definitions of 'treasure'," grumbled Stan. "Those rocks you picked up from Atlantis are still only useful as ballast."

"Patience, Stanley."

Wander made a polite rictus. These two were going to need a lot of help.

2)

"Sure we can make it to Gravity Falls," Dipper mocked. "It's only twenty miles in a straight line."

"It still..." Mabel panted, "...is..."

"Yeah, but not vertically. You didn't say there was a mountain in the way, Mabel..."

"I didn't see the mountain on Google Maps, Dipper. You were the one saying how it was the best way to find your way anywhere."

"What'd you think those concentric lines were?"

"Party target?"

Waddles, who had grown enormous during the rest of the year, stopped to scratch his butt on a standing stone. He loosened some moss and revealed an ancient carving.

"And just great! Your pet has probably wakened up some ancient magic or some c'thuloid horror to eat us. Way to go, Mabel."

"I knew it! There it is," said Grunkle Ford, somewhere high above them. A pink bubble descended like Glinda the Good Witch, and popped, leaving both Grunkles and two other... things... on the ground nearby.

"Grunkle Ford? Grunkle Stan?" Dipper boggled at the obvious aliens and started taking hurried notes.

"This is exactly the stone I've been looking for..." said Grunkle Ford, clearing the rest of the moss off. "Your guess was correct, Dipper. This is an ancient Atlantean transport system. Ancient magic."

"Howdy, howdy, howdy," said the orange thing, shaking Dipper's hand, Mabel's hand, and Waddles' trotter. "I'm Wander. This is Sylvia. And this is amazing. Everyone put this planet down as a nowhere backwater, but I have never seen so much variety on any single place I've ever been. I might just hang around here for a while."

"Try going to Gravity Falls," said Dipper. "Absolutely nobody would notice that you're there."

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Challenge #01440-C345: Trade Agreements

"Are you trying to seduce me!"

"That depends... is it working?" -- OohLookShiny

Zamree sighed. "Mx Frreep... I can see that your plumage is very pretty, but that's not the best way to found a long-term relationship."

"Is trade, is trade," sang Frreep. "Settle business, mate, raise eggs. For good of all."

Oh dear. "Mx Freep... we're incompatible species. The plumbing will not match. Secondly, my kind do not lay eggs. And third, I am life-bonded with another."

Frreep seemed greatly confused,

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Challenge #01439-C344: I Said No

A scientist when captured by the bad guys instead of working for them and having their work used for evil, refuses to work for them. They won't be the cause of innumerable deaths even if it means they suffer. SeaDragon1012

Dr Sally Hopkins woke in comfort, which was a big difference from attempting to fight off three attackers in the rain. She kept her eyes closed and her breathing even. Taking stock.

Good news - they had her in comfort. If they

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Challenge #01438-C343: Paradise is Relative

http://deathcomes4u.tumblr.com/post/153665498898/humans-are-weird

The post: A continuation on the "other planets don't have temperature fluctuations and stuff like earth does" theme including things like humans living on/swimming in volcanic areas, sending humans to the antarctic because drones don't work in the cold, and whenever earthquakes knock everything down building on the same are a again but with better earthquake proofing. -- Anon Guest

[AN: Distracting GIF warning for that link]

Vri'thol was having difficulty with the concept.

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Challenge #01437-C342: Bringing Home Strays

It is common knowledge that humans crave companionship from cats and dogs. But one day the human rescues a pest animal, insisting the creature is their new companion. -- Anon Guest

The human pack-bonding instinct is a strong one. Always be certain that your human isn't bringing unwanted creatures back to your vessel with it. - From Every Cogniscent's Guide to Human Care and Maintenance.

Something in the human's vacation clothes was moving.

"Dee?" warned Kla'kish. "Have you found a pet?" Pet,

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Challenge #01436-C341: Bizarre Reactions

Dinosaurs in zero g -- OohLookShiny

Of all the things evolution in space has wrought, of all the new species discovered in long-abandoned space stations... This one definitely took the cake.

They started as small pterosaurs, and their prey were some kind of bipedal herbivore. Like all saurians, they also had feathers. There was also an ample supply of cockroaches, as well as the plants that had once been in the agri section and had since gone wild.

Everything had gone wild.

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Challenge #01435-C340: Slow Progress

Don't put my ai into something and expect me to be nice to you. -- SeaDragon1012

"Got'cha body," said Gunther, aka call-me-mister-damnit. "Fac'shree sec'nd."

Grammar was still a sticking point. From what she'd seen of the news channels on this planet, a slurring grammar had become normal. Mary let it slide.

"You checked that it was working, right?"

"Yeh, it pass'd full Diag. And it's gotta r'mote thing so y'ull still do the imp'rtant stuff."

Which meant printing him food. Mary had

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Challenge #01434-C339: Pack Bonding is Strange

Someone who doesn't understand all the hoopla over puppies and kittens gets a more unconventional pet and loves it to pieces -- OohLookShiny

I'm not everyone. They say everyone feeds the Skitties on the sly. I don't. They say everyone will say 'hello' to a dog or coo over a kitten or a puppy. I don't.

I mean, sure, they're cute and all, but... I'm just not into them. I've heard all the arguments, by the way.

"Humans are pack animals..." Yeah

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Challenge #01433-C338: Pressing Suit

Courting gifts given in hope of acceptance, they vary from culture to species. -- Knitnan

On the mating rituals of Galactic Species...

As a whole, the mating habits of Galactic Society are so wide and varied that one may be excused for missing the signals of another. For example, most species gift food to their desired mate, but the solitary and territorial B'la'b'lankh sing[1] for their mates.

To the Vigin, a food-gift of meat is the deadliest of insults, while to

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Challenge #01432-C337: Very Wrong Number

Phone numbers and... unxpected... results. Your choice, the FBI story, the Red Phone story, both in one, or one of both. -- RecklessPrudence

Not many people called her on the comms. Even Rael was satisfied by sending her Pings. Text messages somewhere between chats and emails, as she understood it. Some methods of communication had homogenised since the eighties.

Phones were the biggest. She didn't have a phone as she knew it. The closest she had to a phone was a set,

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Challenge #01431-C336: Last Bus to LA

Where the scientific process and superstition collide. This analysis of plague doctor's wear.

"The scientific process made a bitchin’ proto-hazmat suit. And containment protocols!" -- RecklessPrudence

After the zombie apocalypse, there were a few things bound to go backwards. With a lessened population, electricity was bound to stop. And disease was rife.

What the members of the last bus to LA never expected was a revival of some very much older traditions.

As the horses drew them closer to the little town

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Challenge #01429-C334: Two Bad Days For Interspecies Communication

A story of language, of cuttlefish and swans, and of oblivious humans. (Well, two stories. Your choice whether they count as one prompt or two) -- RecklessPrudence

[AN: Welp, we have successfully eliminated the gap count before Cashmas. Huzzah]

1)

It was quite a turn of fate for the captive cuttlefish. They had long since given up on trying to communicate with the air-breathers.

Then one of them noticed them chatting and tried to communicate with their ineffectual tentacles.

"Hey. You. I.

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Challenge #01428-C333: Educational Amusement

A bird prompt for the Numidids: The story of Kevin-the-deathworlder and the deathworlder bird. (Even their birds are brutal!) -- RecklessPrudence

"...and even... photographers."

The scene cut to a camera-wielding human cautiously pursuing a Killdeer plover doing its broken-wing act. He was making soothing cooing noises, but they were clearly not working.

The person behind the camera was giggling.

The bird floundered aimlessly around as the photographer attempted to capture it without hurting it.

After a total of five failed attempts to

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Challenge #01427-C332: Illegal Saviors

Someone going through human archives, and they find this story and the key phrase of it:

"It may be ‘illegal’, but those who risk their liberty to ~save the world~ should never be reprimanded, no matter what those in power say." -- RecklessPrudence

When the people of Pre-Space Planetary System #J4N3T-111811260516 finally get into Galactic Society, they'll find some funny things in the archives. If they go looking.

My name is Leon. And technically? I'm a criminal.

GalStands&Legs - that's

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Challenge #01426-C331: But Why Not?

This shopping list.

You can have four. -- RecklessPrudence

"Aw come on..."

"None of that 'come on', love. This is beyond a bad idea."

"But how can I do my YouTube special Mythbuster Busters?"

Claire glared at Kevin. "You. Don't."

"Aaaaawwwww.... come ooooonnnnnn... I could be internet famous..."

"You could be hospitalised."

"That's the best way to get internet famous."

Claire glared him down. "Find another way. You have other talents that can get you there without hurting yourself. Come up with

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