Instant Story

Recalibrate your sarcasm detector.

“All right,” said Ama. “Where we’re going has lots of humans. So let’s make sure we’re prepared. Remember, even though they’re Class Four Deathworlders, they don’t mean to harm us. They’re aware of our relative frailties and will act accordingly.”

“Yes’m,” said the entire class. They were halfway into their safety suits.

El struggled with her Permaseal Line, panicking, and desperate to not be left behind. There was something about meeting the most dangerous and insane species in the known Galactic Alliance that was irresistible.

Ama came to help her. “Calm down. It’s all right. There’s plenty of time. Let’s look at the problem.”

And once she did… El could see that she’d flipped the switch to Seal, instead of Loose. An easy fix. She hurried inside her suit anyway. Fast enough to catch up with her classmates, but slow enough to make sure she didn’t get anything wrong.

Her kind were still becoming used to Deathworlders. There were so many things they could casually do that were a hazard to her kind.

Infection Barrier on and sealed, air filters attached and locked, armour… it was Humans who invented the lightweight exoskeletons that could protect El and her class from accidental and deadly blows.

“Teacher Ama?” said El. “How do Deathworlders get to be so tough?”

Which filled in the remaining time until Docking. Deathworlders evolved on planets with hostile conditions, ranging from poisonous plants to venomous life forms to deadly weather and hostile terrain. The planet Terra had all of the above.

Most Deathworlders were hostile against other life forms. Humans were hostile against themselves. They had tactics to trick one group into thinking that another were not human despite their obvious similarities. They could define personhood to include a non-corporeal, non-intelligent co-operation of humans, but could not include the females of their own species under that same umbrella definition.

Humans were insane. It was the only rational explanation.

“Now. Everyone calibrate your sarcasm detectors. They’re prone to overload around some humans, so maximise the tolerances.”

And, when El saw them for the first time… all she could think was, They look so small.

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“I like paying taxes. With them I buy civilization.” – Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes

Patriot Imbaw swaggered up to the immigration counter, and pressed his paperwork through the little slot. “I need citizenship on this here Galactic Station ay-sap. How can we -ah- accelerate that process?” He had a greasy smile and greasy hair. In fact, just about everything about him could be described in terms of grease. It seemed like he perspired oily residue that had no origin in the

You’ll make it in five days, boosting six points past emergency max the whole way. If the engineer’s been doing his job, the engines won’t blow until you hit eight. Quite safe.

Plasma from Hyperspace leaked with every ship that travelled through a wormhole. And when it reached a certain density, or a one-way wormhole ‘popped’ into a two way passage, electrons discharged through it in a pattern that still baffled mathematicians everywhere.

And for those caught in Crossroads

I may be small, but I screw up big because I’m standing on the shoulders of GIANTS.

The dangerous mammals were clustered in one area. One area full of volatile chemicals, dangerous levels of electricity, and heavy concentrations of methane and pathogens.

Hundreds of them gathered in the night to observe some ritualistic activity that involved rhythmic gyrations and consumption or production of the above substances.

They were a threat to the Mo'fathan Empire.

Which was how Kirxaan the Mighty opened

“I’m not panicking, I’m watching you panic. It’s more entertaining.”

This was the first time she’d been locked in a room with a human. While it did bring people watching to new and increasingly intimate levels, it did rather limit the options, should said human start lashing out.

As it was, this one seemed to like saying ‘okay’ a lot.

“Okay… Oh….kay. Okay, okay, okay. Okay. Okayokayokayokayokayokay… Ooooohhhhhhh&

“The point is, you haven’t let the lack of Seconds stop you. Or the rules. Or respect for reality, as far as I can tell.”

Shayde still wore Public Property Grey, but this time, her footwear was a pair of Hazard Yellow thongs. Indicating that she was both off-duty, and a potential danger to the public. Someone had given her a silver fan brooch, indicating that she was also offensive without training.

“I take it you’ve

“I never saw you face a wall that, if you couldn’t go over it, you’d not try to find some way around, through, or under, or blow it up with sapper’s charges. Or just bang your head against it till it fell down.”

Ten Standard Years can make a lot of differences. Most of them physical. They can also serve to emphasise the similarities.

Sahra sized up the area. This was open ground in the Cursedland wastes.

An attempt at discussing the weather:

“My, the vacuum is hard out today…”

There is something about human nature that compels them to look up at the stars. And, once in space, staring out a window at them will suffice. Shayde had managed to perform both, thanks to a pillow pit in this particular lounge.

The faintly luminous cushions gave enough light to find her by. Lounges like this were deliberately dim so that observers could see the stars as

For decades Earth’s biosphere, at least insofar as supporting human civilisation, basically rested on everyone being very rational and _not_ pushing the shiny, candy-like button and firing _all the nukes_. How we got in that situation is textbook humanity, but being in that situation, pushing ourselves as far and as hard as we did, with all the diplomatic and military provocations - but _not_ managing to go that step too far? That’s not how humanity behaves… It was basically two