Humour

A 6-post collection

Challenge #02335-F145: Non-Solutions

"We need options."

"Well, I would say 'kill them all', but none of you ever remember it's a joke."

"HOW IS MASS MURDER A JOKE!?"

"How is mass murder NOT a joke when we're not actually gonna do it?"

"Ok new rule, no more dark humor during meetings." -- Anon Guest

"This isn't a meeting, it's a tragedy in progress."

"How is death possibly funny?"

"All of you. Can it for a sec'. We actually need a working plan," Grax sighed as the Humans in the team held out their hands for a small coin. "Please."

Human Stef said, "Business faces," and the rest of them put their hands away and straightened up. "You gotta admit, boss. This is something of a comedy of errors. Mistakes were made, Humans are wont to find that funny. We're trying to get over it, honest."

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Challenge #02104-E281: Miscommunication Malfunction

Human: "Now you're thinking like a human!"

Alien: Internally screaming -- Anon Guest

"No. I didn't-- I'm not-- I don't-- That was sarcasm, Human Jae..."

Human Jae looked briefly alarmed, "And that was a joke, Joyse. I was kidding."

Joyse breathed again. "Good. The last thing I want is to discover that Human Insanity is contagious. Please keep your joking to a minimum in this endeavour, thank you."

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Challenge #01553-D092: The Dunwich Power Initiative

Oh, the tears of eldritch horrors? Yeah, those are technically a renewable resource. -- RecklessPrudence

"They weigh a third of a ton each, they're pure crystal and, when struck, emit an energy that can be harnessed by a sphere of aluminium. I mean, in the 1800's, that was impossible, but now..."

"Aluminium is everywhere. I get it. So how much energy can we extract from one of these things?"

"Uh... probably about 100 terawatts per tear."

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Challenge #00992-B261: It Doesn't Mean What You Think It Means...

Expanding on http://internutter.tumblr.com/post/119713605994/challenge-00850-b119-one-fine-bar-fight-at-a (aggression of one species very similar to flirting for another)

Someone tries their absolute hardest to start a fight with a human, or just scare them off or something (maybe there is a bet going?) And gets unexpectedly dipped. Kiss optional.

Alcohol was one of the more common registered inebriants, so Intoxicant Bars always came with a semi-flammable miasma. One such establishment was The Unlikely Mammal Drink. A bar run by a saurian

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Comparative...Let's Say 'Humor'

Shortly after encountering the Numidid, someone makes the inevitable “Numididn’t” joke. 

(#00744 - B013)

“I am Numidid,” said Ambassador Su'sin, offering her hand.

The newly-minted Ambassador for the Consortium of Steam immediately struck a pose and said, “Oh nu-mi-di-en’t…”

One of the other members of the Consortium of Steam smacked hirself in the face at that. “We’re being ambassadors, today…”

“I don’t understand,” pleaded Su'sin.

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An open letter to the Republicans planning on moving to Australia

Dear nongs idiots yobs wankers yanks (aw fuckit) Reppos:

We would welcome you to Australia. We’re a welcoming bunch [once we’ve figured out a suitably isolating slang for yaz, of course] we’ll even chuck another steak/prawn on the barbie for ya.

There’s just a few things you ought to know before you pack your bags.

1. You might have heard that the lady in charge of this country is an atheist. This is

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