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Challenge #01751-D290: In a Bygone Time

Critics review of The Mikado, performed by St Trinians School for Young Ladies. -- Anon Guest

The papers flew in, and for once, the girls did not blow up the paperboy. They'd been waiting for these particular editions with bated breath. They were the ones with the reviews in them. The girls wanted to read about the raving.

The dozen or so in the cast thundered down the stairs to their school song, "Maidens of Saint Trinians, gird your armour on/ Grab the ne-arest weapon, never mind which one/ The battle's to the strongest, might is always right/ Trample on the weakest, glory in their plight!" The girls who were awake and not currently nursing a hangover joined in for the chorus. And then fell into silence for the rest of it, "Stride towards your fortune, boldly on your way/ Never once forgetting there's one born ev'ry day/ Let our motto be broadcast, 'get your blow in first'/ She who draws the sword last always comes off worst!"

By the end of the second chorus, they had retrieved the papers and undiplomatically divided them by a brief round of Stab Dodge Grapple[1]. And the victors took plinth positions as they paged through to the reviews.

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Challenge #01750-D289: Confessions at a Bus Stop

Writer caught doing research, then realises 'captive audience'. -- Anon Guest

Officer René wasn't intending to be on duty. They were just chilling near the bus stop and not paying attention to anything much. Someone was already under the shelter and working on their laptop.

And then they heard the words, "No... that's too much decapitation. Uh... pierced jugular. Slow. Plenty of signs of blood spatter."

There are some things you hear that you're better off walking away from. There are some

Challenge #01749-D288: Hear Me Roar

They called them "The Ladies from Hell" the bravest one was not carrying a weapon but a musical instrument. -- Knitnan

Revolution comes in many forms. A poisoned chalice. A coup detat. Violence in the streets. Quiet murder in between the sheets. This one began with an infant daughter, wailing in her mother's arms, and an urgent flight into the night.

Twenty women before her had borne that man daughters. And twenty women and their daughters had died the next day. Ralin

Challenge #01748-D287: War of the Sexes

Why do women's clothing never have pockets? -- Anon Guest

Everyone thinks it's the purse industry. Selling ladies all forms of impractical bags of varying sizes that, though they look pretty, are a pain to manage. Those that hang off the shoulder cause damage to the tendons. Those clutched in the hand are hard to keep track of. And those with large bags suffer the worst, because their significant others use them as pack horses.

That's only part of it.

The strangest

Challenge #01747-D286: Stop Me if You've Heard This One

"Okay, this might be scary so if you need some time to prepare-"

"Jokes on you I'm terrified a hundred percent of the time anyway!" -- OohLookShiny

A Havenworlder and a Deathworlder walk into a bar...

So very many jokes start this way, including the off-colour one that also included cogniphagia. But this time, it was reality. The Havenworlder was in their livesuit and tucked under the arm of the deathworlder. A big, burly, brick of a human.

The worst kind.

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Challenge #01746-D285: Why Not Have Both?

Don't be eye candy, be soul food. -- Anon Guest

After the Hunger War, things were relatively quiet. Never too quiet, because despite the differences that were buried to literally fight for life, people liked to remember a grudge or three. The Bureaux of Balance went public and attempted to help keep a lid on things.

And despite semi-retirement, it wasn't that much of a shock to see living legends turn up in situations loaded with strife. Well. Technically three living legends,

Challenge #01745-D284: Wolf by the Fireplace

How about alien species who don't realize we're allegedly the dominant species on the planet? Maybe they value empathy more than intelligence, which would make dogs the most likely contender for dominant life form. -- Bard2DBone

When humanity met the Fressik, there was some evident confusion and quite a lot of debate. They had crashed on a colony world, and hit some large buildings, so the rescue teams had the rescue dogs with them. The smaller ones worked their way through the

Challenge #01744-D283: The Allure

He was always the cool guy, best clothes, best attitude - He didn't get the girl. The class Dork the one who watched weird stuff, wore Those T shirts did. When the chips are down who can you rely on? -- Anon Guest

Travis was the pretty boy, and the bad boy. The rebel without a clue, as some of the teachers said. He always had a skateboard and could miraculously make it vanish before a teacher saw it. He could cuss

Challenge #01743-D282: Absence Makes...

"Ugh, I never would have made any friends if I knew I was gonna waste so much time missing them when they're away." -- OohLookShiny

If there was any one, universal truth to the tragedy of Jarik's life, it was this: Everyone leaves.

Ze was orphaned young. A disaster that ze couldn't remember and that politicians denied being to blame for for years afterwards. After the disaster was a fact of hir life. Always moving. Never calling any place home. Months spent

Challenge #01742-D281: Certain Signs of Doom

When a human is running scared, drop everything and run away with them. -- Anon Guest

Humans get many jobs, all across the outskirts of the Galactic Alliance. In the Fringe Territories, laws are enforced based entirely on how useful they are to follow. As civilisation creeps in, the humans creep out before they become the tolerated exception. That's the thing about fringes and frontiers. There's always more of them.

Here on the edge, overlooking a large and ancient Sargasso, is Bodgy

Challenge #01741-D280: When Next You Stop

High Magics: Fuck you and fuck the piece of reality you were standing on -- RecklessPrudence

Ever after, even in the depths of his self-exile, he would remember the first time that the elf used his name. He'd been travelling with the show for months, and knew everyone. And everyone knew him. Except the elf. It was difficult to tell whether they were male or female and they deliberately exploited that to unnerve people.

They were between towns, camping temporarily along the

Challenge #01740-D279: Too Close an Encounter

It seemed like I might have dodged a bullet. Now all I had to do was avoid all the rest. -- RecklessPrudence

To be honest, I didn't know I'd blundered into a land war until the moon behind me went up into shrapnel. I'd dodged one bullet by accident. Well. Missile. Now I had to dodge the shrapnel from an exploding moon. Getting away from the big boom helped my chances a lot.

And then I saw the fleet. They had a

Challenge #01739-D278: A Lesson For All

(At an AI's sudden assimilation of a tech base and IMMEDIATE commencement of combinatorial synthesis): Fuckin' bullshit, man.

(In response): Hey if they're going to leave tech specs out where the sufficiently advanced AI can get a hold of them, it's their own fault. -- RecklessPrudence

They called the AI Amoeba, for her abilities, but she preferred Amy. It was her job as part of the combat process to take over enemy facilities and seize all intel and hardware. She liked her

Challenge #01737-D276: Welcome to My Dungeon

"Would you let me decide already. Are you my eldritch patron from beyond the stars or are you my DM?"

"Kinda both." -- RecklessPrudence

The people around the table erupted in laughter. Karel giggled a little bit herself. "Yeah, I'm playing all the fucking gods in this game, and the big bad terrifying threat, so... yeah. I better get some respect from you assholes."

"And mountain dew," added Ferni.

"Well, duh. Of course mountain dew. That's what runs my magnificent brain and

Challenge #01736-D275: Children Are...

“Are you a parent, by any chance?”

“Nah, but years of observation have given me all the tricks I’ll ever need and the resolute determination that hell no, I don’t want to deal with my own little terrors.” [Name] shuddered. “Kids are great. When they aren’t mine, that is.” -- RecklessPrudence

In days of yore, the oldest daughter was always considered a prize of a wife. She was already accustomed to looking after everyone else, and doing a majority

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Challenge #01751-D290: In a Bygone Time

Challenge #01750-D289: Confessions at a Bus Stop

Challenge #01749-D288: Hear Me Roar

Challenge #01748-D287: War of the Sexes

Challenge #01747-D286: Stop Me if You've Heard This One

Challenge #01746-D285: Why Not Have Both?

Challenge #01745-D284: Wolf by the Fireplace

Challenge #01744-D283: The Allure

Challenge #01743-D282: Absence Makes...

Challenge #01742-D281: Certain Signs of Doom

Challenge #01741-D280: When Next You Stop

Challenge #01740-D279: Too Close an Encounter

Challenge #01739-D278: A Lesson For All

Challenge #01737-D276: Welcome to My Dungeon

Challenge #01736-D275: Children Are...