Menu

Subscribe

Humour

A 7-post collection

Challenge #03832-J180: Idea Unplugged

A: Humans apparently the shirts says peace defender and this one says virtue.

[shirts actual translation: I come in peace / I’m peace]

Human 1: (in whispers) I don’t have the heart to tell them…

Human 2: (also in whispers) Don’t, this gonna be hilarious when they figure it out.

A: Anyway I’m going to present these to my mate. -- Anon Guest

"Maybe they have figured it out?" whispered Human Vit as ze watched Companion Clem carefully fold the shirts into a pretty gift box.

"I'm not certain," Human Kaan whispered in response, cupping her hand around her mouth. "Clem's lot aren't an in vivo species. They spawn."

Vit wondered, with some horror, what happened when an entire species didn't get someone else's dirty joke. Which lead to the horror that ze, too, might have missed someone else's dirty jokes?

Support me on Patreon / Buy me a Ko-fi

Continue Reading

Prompts remaining: 59 Submit a Prompt!
[Ask a question (http://www.internutter.org/bb/category/4/comments-feedback)!

Challenge #02335-F145: Non-Solutions

"We need options."

"Well, I would say 'kill them all', but none of you ever remember it's a joke."

"HOW IS MASS MURDER A JOKE!?"

"How is mass murder NOT a joke when we're not actually gonna do it?"

"Ok new rule, no more dark humor during meetings." -- Anon Guest

"This isn't a meeting, it's a tragedy in progress."

"How is death possibly funny?"

"All of you. Can it for a sec'. We actually need a working plan," Grax sighed as

Read more »

Challenge #02104-E281: Miscommunication Malfunction

Human: "Now you're thinking like a human!"

Alien: Internally screaming -- Anon Guest

"No. I didn't-- I'm not-- I don't-- That was sarcasm, Human Jae..."

Human Jae looked briefly alarmed, "And that was a joke, Joyse. I was kidding."

Joyse breathed again. "Good. The last thing I want is to discover that Human Insanity is contagious. Please keep your joking to a minimum in this endeavour, thank you."

Support me on Patreon / Buy me a Ko-fi

Continue Reading

Prompts remaining: 24 Submit

Read more »

Challenge #01553-D092: The Dunwich Power Initiative

Oh, the tears of eldritch horrors? Yeah, those are technically a renewable resource. -- RecklessPrudence

"They weigh a third of a ton each, they're pure crystal and, when struck, emit an energy that can be harnessed by a sphere of aluminium. I mean, in the 1800's, that was impossible, but now..."

"Aluminium is everywhere. I get it. So how much energy can we extract from one of these things?"

"Uh... probably about 100 terawatts per tear."

Continue Reading

Prompts remaining: 13 Submit

Read more »

Challenge #00992-B261: It Doesn't Mean What You Think It Means...

Expanding on http://internutter.tumblr.com/post/119713605994/challenge-00850-b119-one-fine-bar-fight-at-a (aggression of one species very similar to flirting for another)

Someone tries their absolute hardest to start a fight with a human, or just scare them off or something (maybe there is a bet going?) And gets unexpectedly dipped. Kiss optional.

Alcohol was one of the more common registered inebriants, so Intoxicant Bars always came with a semi-flammable miasma. One such establishment was The Unlikely Mammal Drink. A bar run by a saurian

Read more »

Comparative...Let's Say 'Humor'

Shortly after encountering the Numidid, someone makes the inevitable “Numididn’t” joke. 

(#00744 - B013)

“I am Numidid,” said Ambassador Su'sin, offering her hand.

The newly-minted Ambassador for the Consortium of Steam immediately struck a pose and said, “Oh nu-mi-di-en’t…”

One of the other members of the Consortium of Steam smacked hirself in the face at that. “We’re being ambassadors, today…”

“I don’t understand,” pleaded Su'sin.

Read more »

An open letter to the Republicans planning on moving to Australia

Dear nongs idiots yobs wankers yanks (aw fuckit) Reppos:

We would welcome you to Australia. We’re a welcoming bunch [once we’ve figured out a suitably isolating slang for yaz, of course] we’ll even chuck another steak/prawn on the barbie for ya.

There’s just a few things you ought to know before you pack your bags.

1. You might have heard that the lady in charge of this country is an atheist. This is

Read more »