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Dear Diary

A 3653-post collection

Sdrawckab!

Once again, I got my approach to organisation catty-corner, and did NOT focus on telling y'all about my alleged life before getting rolling on today's Instant.

Which, by the way, tips more than a hat-rack at The Adventure Zone. Spoilers if you haven't listened through.

Listen through, btw. It's full of dick jokes and cussing, but it's funny as hell and you WILL cry. It's one hell of a ride.

Ahem.

Today's plans involve pickling more strawberries and teaching my Beloved to learn to love pickled strawberries and mascarpone.

They have to get their vitamin C somehow and we all keep forgetting to take assorted tablets or booster shots.

If they can learn to love my "ice cream" then I can learn to love sauerkraut at every meal.

Story here REAL soon now.

Now I'm Pissed Off

Picture the scene: It's the day before yesterday. I put my heart and soul into, and wring myself out for, a piece that by all accounts should have knocked it out of the park.

One comment.

One reblog.

Some handful of likes.

Yesterday, I pretty much put my thumb up my butt and churn out a fill-in-the-blanks WWII Escape The POW Camp plotting.

One redistribution via Free Fiction Daily.

One clap on Medium.

One reblog.

I can argue that my least-effort vaguely-historically-accurate

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Friday Already?

I lost track, somewhere in the middle of the week. Nevertheless, I did manage to do all my blogly duties. And my writing quotas.

And I learned about this horseshit in which the people lobbying to quash climate change for profit are also preparing for a climate change related apocalypse by buying homes in New Zealand.

Sailing the hypocri-sea much?

Point that out to any of them and they have the power to firkin destroy your life.

I hate rich people.

They

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I Dunno...

Liposomal vit C worked to lift my spirits, reset my energy levels, and otherwise make me make myself do things. BUT it tastes like arse and I really can't do my dose of that on the daily.

It's psychologically implausible.

Sugarless vit C comes in a handy "chewable" tablet that I swallow whole because I firkin hate chewable vitamins. It gets digested anyway, right? What sadistic genius invented "chewable" vitamins anyway?

I was made to suck on those intensely citrusy bastards when

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Self Discipline is...

Self discipline is doing the thing even when you don't want to.

Self discipline is turning off Discord so I'm not distracted as much.

Self discipline is setting my other browser windows to less interesting content so I don't wind up scrolling through shitposts all day.

Self discipline is allowing myself to have a small treat when I'm done with my work. Or it would be, if my dear little darlings hadn't left me with nothing but my Beloved's liquorice to snack

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Wat

As you know, I ate baby spinach 48 hours ago and I should have experienced...

MASSIVE INTESTINAL DISTRESS

[/reverb]

But no. I didn't. I sailed through the day with no sickness. No upset. Not even a liquid fart.

Not, as Bluebottle was wont to say, a sausage.

Either I can consume baby spinach without much trouble or... I could finally be past my previous troubles with the entire subgroup of foods.

I don't want to point to keto being that miraculous, but.

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50% Battery

This weekend was a little more crowded than I like. Mayhem's birthday and associated running around. Mayhem's work and the resultant Leyland's Tour.

I didn't get as much nothing done as I wanted. So my internal reserves are less than I like. And face it, I gorged on No-No food all weekend.

My will check will be passing on all the leftover carbage in the house which includes one of my hardy perennial weaknesses - Fry's Turkish Delight. My other weaknesses are

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FUBAR'ed Again

Mayhem re-scheduled a make-up day to today so he could have his birthday. Fine. I made plans to drop him off at the train station so he could get there and get back.

Snag one: After taking literally two short trips inside city limits, he has somehow spent $35 of the $45 he had on his transit card.

Snag two: There are no trains today.

After turning the air blue, I drive back to the train station, set up the GPS, and

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Good News?

Mayhem managed to swing his birthday off for a make-up day at work. He's going tomorrow.

Which means we're all going bifdy shopping together. Hooray.

Which means I have about two hours to do my work before my time is no longer my own.

And the focus capabilities of a concussed whelk.

I need good luck.

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I Just Wanna Goof Off

What I gotta do:

  • This blog
  • Instant story
  • 1000 words so I can get up to 15K in B'Nar
  • Figure out and obtain a birthmas gift for Mayhem

What I want to do:

  • Space out
  • Play games
  • Watch/listen to Critical Role
  • Sleep more

Not only did I stay up later than normal, last night, but I'm also battling the "nobody wants me" worm-eatin' blues. All because the publishing house I sent Adapting to has not yet got back to me about

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Back and Forth

Mayhem's digestive issues are... intermittent. I'm pretty much convinced it isn't the gallbladder any more. And since he's eating meat again without trouble, I can guess that the Gold Coin Grass did its job and last week's flare-up was probably the Ekka Bug.

Fingers crossed.

We'll find out sometime next week whether or not this is going to be a regular thing. At least this time Beloved is in on the loop and (hopefully) won't yell at me for taking Mayhem's word

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Welp. That's Me Fucked Up

It's already Wedensday and the odds of me working on SESP at all are... low.

And I really need to look after myself rather than fret about what I'm not doing.

BUT....

Because anxiety, I gotta fret anyway. Which drains the personal batteries. Which leaves me less energy for doing the thing. Which lowers the odds of thing-doing even further. Which increases the guilt for not doing the thing.

::Windmills of Your Mind plays in the background::

I need permission to just

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Stop Hitting Myself...

Another crowded day ahead.

  • The usual morning blogging and story rigmarole
  • Meeting with Chaos' teacher in an hour and a half
  • Gotta secure some supplies
  • The usual novel stuff
  • Patreon Tuesday
  • Find time and energy for an hour of SESP
  • Drive away the guilt for not being able to do so yesterday

All I want to do, on the other hand, is catch up with Critical Role and finish writing a whump fic.

Maybe after I finish B'Nar [in a little under

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Another Monday

Another brat run. Another money dash. Another cleaning day.

Another start on another 3K in a novel.

Another week of just wanting to slob out and do nothing and not worry about shit. But worrying anyway because chronic anxiety just won't quit.

Another week of fighting depression because my Beloved is busy and we hardly talk/hug at the moment and... ugh.

And this week, I'm planning to take an hour to work on SESP so I can maybe have a hope

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Oh dear...

I had a nice day of sloth. Alas, it got a little ruined by the fact that Mayhem's tummy troubles have returned and I never did see that higher-level quack about the magic medicine(tm).

Which Beloved yelled at me about.

Nevermind that Mayhem was effectively cured for a fucking fortnight. Or said he was cured.

The caveat to this is that the higher-level quack doesn't like operating outside of school hours, so it'll be a couple of weeks until we get

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