Coffee Hijinks

A 2-post collection

Challenge #01716-D255: One Pot Screamer

Hwell Barrow gets his hands on "knurd" that Discworld drink that you wake up sober with. He drank a Lot! -- Knitnan

Shayde is old enough to remember what 'Kickapoo Joy Juice' was, and when she or her friends were studying for extreme lengths of time, she had invented 'Kikyernuts Brain Fire'. Which was a carefully-calibrated mixture of every stimulant known to mankind at the time. In a dose so strong that it was fractionally short of being lethal. She had a pot brewing in front of an audience of horrified and fascinated Medik trainees.

"Na while that's reducin' tae a syrup," said Shayde, "I need tae stress the importance o' drinkin' this shite out of a shot glass." She held aloft the tiny container. This one was double-walled and shot through with gold wires to prevent breakage through temperature shock. "One dose. Three hours. Otherwise ye run the risk o'--"

Hwell Barrow, freelance adventurer extraordinaire, and possibly permanently under the influence, fell through a patch of ceiling. He was evidently worse for wear. If he was a book, he would be slightly foxed, very badgered, severely bear'd and possibly dragoned[1]. He pulled himself laboriously to his feet, managed to focus on the bubbling pot, and cried, "Lor' bless you, I'm gaggin'." He marched straight for the pot and, ignorant of Shayde's frantic and urgent cries not to drink that, seized the whole pot.

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Gil and Tarvek try Agatha's "special coffee".


“Honestly, that flask says ‘Do not open’. There has to be a reason.”

“Exactly why I’m opening it. To see why[1].”

Tarvek, at least, had the sense to duck and cover.

“Some kind of liquid…” Gil sniffed cautiously. “It’s coffee!”

“It’s in a sealed container with a warning label! That alone is enough to put it back where it came from!”

“…there was something important I was supposed to remember about coffee…”

Tarvek growled. “Oh, warm it

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