Childcare

Challenge #03565-I276: Avast Ye!

Young, wannabe pirates steal a ship. The human aboard refuses to hurt kids, but they are NOT amused! -- Anon Guest

"What are you, twelve?" Human Oz glared down at the 'dread pirate' Bao, who had a kitten face on their overalls pocket. "I'm old enough to be your grandren[1]. I should send you to the corner."

"I'm eight," said the 'dread pirate' Bao. "And I'm the Captain 'cause of my mean scar, and you're s'posed to surrender." The 'mean scar' was a light graze on one cheek, possibly caused by a low-flying stick fragment. Previously unnoticed until they pointed it out. This did not improve anything.

"That makes it worse," said Oz. "You understand how that makes it worse, right? Where are your guardians? Do they know you and your little playmates took a whole-ass tug boat to play Pirates in?" Further parenting instincts kicked in and made hir say, "Has anyone put antiseptic on your boo-boo?"

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Challenge #03531-I243: Welcome to the Fosterhaus

They were Tieflings and Aasimars, siblings all, who went from place to place. They gathered the unwanted children that others refused to care for, and brought them to a massive, special, boarding school that ensured the children were loved, cared for, got a good education, and learned to see all beings as equals, no matter who, or what, they were. To judge on personality and actions, rather than species. -- Anon Guest

The Plane of Torment and the Plane of Boons are

Challenge #03521-I233: Damage Control

"Yu....yu a tief!!" a scared little voice.

"I'm a tiefling, but I promise, child, I won't hurt you. I know you're just scared and hurt."

"'n....not mean tief...yu fwend?"

"Yes. I'm your friend." -- Anon Guest

The child was still wedged into a very small space and Flourish currently couldn't tilt hir head for fear of upsetting the birds. They had decided to nest in hir antler-like horns. Getting down to the child's level involved lying awkwardly on hir

Challenge #03508-I220: Educating Warriors

"Kids, I could use some help in the kitchen!"

sound of many running feet

"FO' DIN-DIN!!!" -- Escla

Warrior cultures aren't warriors all the time. Many people think so, and presume that everything is a fight. They presume that the entire tribe lives by the sword, on a horse, and nothing else ever happens without bloodshed. No culture is a monolith and no one group of people ever do the same thing.

The Orcish steppes are chilly, that much is true. The

Challenge #03303-I015: The Terrors of Human Larvae

Q: How do you terrify a Vorax?

A: Stick them on a ship with a bunch of humans and tell them they're going to have to babysit the toddlers!

This exchange program is going to require the poor Vorax getting a large amount of therapy afterward. -- Anon Guest

[AN: Children should never be seen as punishment. No matter what the circumstances]

There was a nervous peace between the Humans and the Vorax. The Alliance was letting the Humans spread their pack-bonding

Challenge #03233-H324: Minor Disaster Control

A sleepy human child care provider is trying their damndest to stay awake while watching over a mixed nursery of kids, Havenworlder and Deathworlder, but they have another hour before the malfunctioning door is finally fixed and the parents can come in and collect the kids. - Anon Guest

One more Deregger colony had gone down in flames, as Deregger colonies were wont to do. Their installations would not be wasted, but they did have to be upgraded. People were still moving

Challenge #03232-H323: Close Encounters of the Absurd Kind

A level 2 Deathworlder looks much like the old lycanthropes of legend. However, Human children are entranced by their soft fur rather than be afraid. -- Anon Guest

She had heard a word so often that it may well be a slur. The Humans in her aura tended to call her a "werewolf". As far as Mani could tell, they didn't mean anything horrible by it. It was just a nickname. And anyway, Deathworlders tended to stick together with their odd variants

Challenge #03155-H246: The Right Kind of Electronic Babysitter

Several children, Humans, Havenworlders, and other Deathworlders, trapped together in the nursery. The power had gone out and the doors had locked. Everyone was scared, then someone started singing. Soon each youngster took turns singing their favorite lullabies their parentals would sing them to sooth them, and, as a result, when rescue finally got to them, all the kids were contentedly close to each other, peacefully asleep. The first singer? An independant AI nanny who'd just finished charging and unplugged just as

Challenge #03140-H231: Loco Parentis

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?"

"Banana."

"Banana who?"

"Knock knock"

"Who's there?"

"Banana."

"Banana Who?"

"Knock Knock"

exasperated! "WHO'S THERE??"

"Orange"

sigh! "Orange who?'

"Orange you glad I didn't say Banana?"

GROAN!!!!! -- Anon Guest

Some stages of childhood development seem to be a test of the parental's endurance. Some of those kids really make strangers wonder how they survive to adulthood. Just one of those stages is the discovery of jokes.

"Hey... hey... hey... hey...? Why do beans like to live

Challenge #03090-H182: Baby on Board

A Human toddler is flying for their first time with their parents. They'd never been off-world before and they were excited. The toddler was being brought to a medical facility on a station for a surgical procedure, though as active as they are people would never realize they were sick. With them were several Havenworlders including one who looked for all the world like a large, fluffy, bipedal canine in basic ship's skins. Problem is, the toddler would not stop trying to

Challenge #02893-G336: A Cup of Tea and a Biscuit

Ah little Pib. How about them sneaking back into the captain's quarters and trying to talk the captain into playing dress-up and having snacks, having dragged a bunch of mismatched clothing with them? :-D After all, from experience, boys and girls, don't matter, they always seem to love to play dress-up and then have snacks and juice together with their friends.

https://peakd.com/fiction/@internutter/challenge-02767-g210-the-problem-with-pib -- Anon Guest

Pib had a big bag. Big enough to hold a bottle of

Challenge #02853-G296: Sticky Plus Parts Equals Trouble

I would very much like to know what happened with the screwdriver and the lollipop in greater detail, please. -- Escla

[AN: The problem with Noodle Incidents is that the telling of the tale never matches the imagination resulting from the implications]

Pib was bored. Mama had fallen asleep, which meant that Pib could get into the no-no's. Pib knew it was naughty, but the no-no's were way more interesting than any of the allowed stuff. Most of the time the worst

Challenge #02851-G294: Three Whacks With a Wet Noodle

Deathworlder parents mete out appropriate punishments to misbehaving deathworlder children. Chastisement to non-deathworlders is often much lighter, even if handed out by the same caregivers, and for good reason.

Human parent to human children: "Present butts!" (brandishes foam bat)

Human parent to non-human children: "I'm very disappointed in you" (pins children with The Look)

All children: "Wow, I got off easy compared to the other group" -- Anon Guest

[AN(&PSA): DO NOT BEAT YOUR CHILDREN FOR FLAKK'S SAKE! That is

Challenge #02768-G211: Disturbing Deathworlder Deeds

Ki'it thought ze was ready. Ze had survived Human Kev's "oops"es, learned to anticipate Human Lin's "I know what I did wrong!"s, and even managed to halve zer dosage of calming medication after a half dozen of Human Ren's "uh-oh..."s.

This, however, was zer introduction to the dreaded, "Wheeeee!!!! Again!" -- Anon Guest

[AN: You are of course free to use any gender-neutral pronouns you love in prompts... it's just that I cannot conjugate anything else than ze/hir.

Challenge #02767-G210: The Problem With Pib

More Human Pib, please. -- Escla

[AN: Referencing this thing BTW ]

Havenworlders were on edge, some were seeking out places to hide. Some were seeking out places where something might be hiding. The entire crew of the Jaunty Merchant were operating under a Code Giggle.

Human Pib had escaped.

Humans Orgo and Lun were checking their entire quarters, and every nook and cranny therein. They were doing this for the fiftieth time since Human Pib had "turned up missing". The fact that

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A 36-post collection

Challenge #03565-I276: Avast Ye!

Challenge #03531-I243: Welcome to the Fosterhaus

Challenge #03521-I233: Damage Control

Challenge #03508-I220: Educating Warriors

Challenge #03303-I015: The Terrors of Human Larvae

Challenge #03233-H324: Minor Disaster Control

Challenge #03232-H323: Close Encounters of the Absurd Kind

Challenge #03155-H246: The Right Kind of Electronic Babysitter

Challenge #03140-H231: Loco Parentis

Challenge #03090-H182: Baby on Board

Challenge #02893-G336: A Cup of Tea and a Biscuit

Challenge #02853-G296: Sticky Plus Parts Equals Trouble

Challenge #02851-G294: Three Whacks With a Wet Noodle

Challenge #02768-G211: Disturbing Deathworlder Deeds

Challenge #02767-G210: The Problem With Pib