Amalgam Universe

A 2337-post collection

Challenge #02370-F180: Stone Tools and Bear Skins

An alien crew hires a discount group of human bodyguards to protect them on an expedition to a heavily forested/jungled planet to research the planet life. Murphy's law happens and the alien crew find out they hired the human group that is , as a group, a hybrid of MacGyver, John Wick, and the the A-Team. -- Anon Guest

One of the launch seats, heavily charred, fell out of the tree with a solid thud. The Human who dislodged it had got up there by using a series of ropes, spiked objects, and an apparent disregard for gravity. Another Human, who had neatly sidestepped the falling chair, looked at the burned remains and said, "Whelp. There's your problem." Three other Humans laughed.

The one up the tree shouted, "Three more debris! All metal!" and the Humans working underneath cleared out from the hazard zone. One was carrying the chair. The Humans had been doing this since their explorer vessel exploded in a freak combination of electrical storm and meteor shower, and Grox had yet to understand why.

She was doing what they called 'oxcart duty', which consisted of applying her muscular strength to pull around a cart the Humans had made from convenient pieces. It was, they said, better than hauling "all that crap" by hand. That, and 'oxcart duty' was keeping all the surviving scientists out of harm's way. The Humans, after all, did not want to waste any more time rebuilding their carts.

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Challenge #02368-F178: Culinary Explorers

An inter-species cooking class is very interesting to observe, and better to participate in. -- Anon Guest

Some people just never learn to cook. Why would they? Obtaining foodstuffs from vendors is easy and they then have more time to spend on other enjoyable pursuits. There are those who insist that cooking is a vital survival skill, and they are repeatedly ignored by those who plan on never having to survive like that. It is far cheaper, faster, and overall safer to

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Challenge #02367-F177: Impossible Dreamers

If you think that "something" is impossible to do... Give it to humans and they will make it "possible" -- Anon Guest

Never tell a Human what's impossible. -- Galactic Alliance saying.

They had once said that travelling faster than light was impossible, just like time travel. Humans managed to find one-way wormholes, which utilised both, and then proceeded to use them to seed their colonies all over surprising corners of space. Humans, it seemed, accomplished six impossible things before teatime.

It

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Challenge #02366-F176: Fight, Flight, or...

Fight or flight, the natural reactions to fear. Though, people don't mention one, freeze. People like to ignore that possibility because it tends to put them in danger. Unfortunately for them, it is real, it is dangerous, and it is terrifying if you happen to be the one experiencing it. -- Anon Guest

Most Humans can be relied upon to act quickly in an emergency. Most of them. Their presence in any place of inherent hazard is reassuring to anyone in field

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Challenge #02365-F175: Motivational Inspiration

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=iYYRH4apXDo -- Anon Guest

It was vaguely conical, and smaller than the most popular cars of the late Terran Twentieth Century. This was a vessel designed to get three Humans back to their planet after a long and perilous journey to truly hostile territory. There was just enough room for three Humans and all the samples they had gathered while they were up there.

What was more worrying was the landing craft for their missions to

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Challenge #02364-F174: Deconstruct Reconstruct

With so many species coexisting, we must create new stories and nursery-rhymes. This is one such story. -- Anon Guest

Three blind Meiss, three blind Meiss/ See how they run, see how they run/ They all ran after the farmer's wife/ Who cut off their tails with a carving knife/ And violated the cogniscent rights/ Of three blind Meiss. -- one of many adjustments to Human nursery rhymes.

There are others. With integration comes a certain amount of cultural cross-pollination, so to

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Challenge #02362-F172: A Sundae on Foursday

First Contact should always be celebrated with Ice cream! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mzgn0b67oIA -- Anon Guest

Humans are pretty good at interesting food. Their food-on-a-stick philosophy has solved, and started, many combats, mostly over who gets the last theobromine-free chocolate one. The introduction of popsicles to the Galactic Alliance blew many a mind. So, too, did Ice Cream.

A ready and easily consumed, portable cold treat of fats and sugars. Some blended to be certain that there were no

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Challenge #02359-F169: Noisy Air

"What was that sound?"

"Oh, it was nothing. I'm just haven't gotten a chance to eat yet."

"Your body makes threat growls when it is hungry!?" -- Anon Guest

Working with Humans has its own hazards. The most common of which is encountering something the Humans consider normal, but the rest of known civilisation considers strange, new, or frightening. In turn, every species has their own unusual features, functions, or quirks that set them apart from everyone else. It's why the very

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Challenge #02358-F168: Dramatis Personae

Reading a lot of these I noticed some recurring characters. Is there any kind of character bio for them, and if not would you possibly give us some? -- Anon Guest

[AN: Not exactly a story but this must be important so...]

Amalgam Universe

Rael

  • Species: Faiize, a gengineered version of the non-cogniscent, sluglike 'cleaners' with some massive feature creep and consequent legal battle in regards to their concealed-until-undeniable cogniscence. Each Faiize is named by a computer, using a random collection of
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Challenge #02357-F167: Armour-plated Badass

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6ODSKfPs0iA

Some species have chitin as Armour.

We Humans have interior Bones and Skin.

But what If an Alien species has developed an exterior Skin of Bone ? -- Anon Guest

There are very few examples of osteodermis extremis in cogniscent lifeforms. For Deathworlds, and the Deathworlders who dwell on them, it makes more evolutionary sense than -say- being small, mobile and squishy. Though not common, it's generally expected for Deathworlders of level four or above to

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Challenge #02354-F164: Occupational Safety and Health

Humans don't know it but they acutely have a small connection to the 4th dimension.

Whenever a human gets a 'gut feeling' or 'deja vu' that's when they do it. -- Chara Dreemur

Three dimensions, all beings can navigate: length, depth, and width. The fourth, time, is something that moves us, and can be sensed by most[1]. What surprises many is the occasional ability to navigate the fourth dimension... partially. This ability inevitably turns up in Humans, but those infected with

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Challenge #02353-F163: But it Looks Like Fun

I can't believe I have to say this but, stay out of volcanoes. -- Anon Guest

Of all the multiple and nuanced arguments in favour of Humanity being an insane species, there is one that is simply one word:

Vulcanologists.

Though the field of science exists across any species born on a world with tectonic activity, only the Humans ever came up with the idea of wandering around and poking at a mountain that might explode. Everyone else was sensible about it,

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Challenge #02352-F162: An Easy Mistake

A Havenworlder Crew tries their best to make the Ship Humans Birthday Party great.

They bake a cake for him.

The only problem is, that they used salt instead of sugar. -- Anon Guest

Human Neis could tell that her fluffles had knocked out all the stops. They had made the extra effort, for sure. Not just securing presents and decorations, but also gathering every ingredient they could for the party food, including completing all the steps necessary to create those foods.

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Challenge #02351-F161: Needs Salt and Pepper

Drug PSA's from America are always funny for me to watch. Esecially the Infamous "This is your Bain on Drugs" or the one with Peewee Herman, where he Talks about Crack.

I know IT IS a serious Problem, but i cant watch them without cracking Up (^^ teeh hee hee). Its Just so insane.

Can you make a Story about Footage of those being found by Havenworlders and they question a Human? Thanks in Advance.

For those, that have No Idea what I'm

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Challenge #02348-F158: Adjustment Phase

A human gets scared and jumpy around anyone who is angry, and yes, I mean anyone. -- Anon Guest

Humans have a reputation. It isn't necessarily bad to be seen as one of the biggest, toughest, roughest marshmallows in the universe, but it's still a reputation. Being a Human and having a reputation for being both a savage warrior and a sweetly nurturing protector does certain things to a crowd. Ange rather liked it. It meant that people didn't get too close.

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