Amalgam Universe

A 2284-post collection

Challenge #01422-C327: Some Things Don't Work

"Kill it with fire!" -- OohLookShiny

It was a joke amongst the Glunk Cleanup Detail. They were a mix of either the most dedicated cleaners, or the most incorrigible of criminals. And both were under careful watch from rescue teams, but for different reasons.

And all of them knew that flamethrowers had negligible effects on the Glunk.

Well. All of them that weren't new.

Once in a great, long while, someone who was unfamiliar with all the tried-and-failed methods of cleaning up the Glunk would join the team, acquire a flamethrower, and attempt to -as they say- kill it with fire.

If the resultant cloud of noxious smoke is not enough to discourage them from trying that sort of thing again... or the sight of a mostly-undamaged mass of mess after the smoke has cleared has failed to encourage a repeat attempt... then the unfortunate cogniscent is left to deal with the smoke on their own, next time. Or judged to be mentally incompetent and sent off to a care facility for the remainder of their lives.

Most often, they recognise the danger and behave themselves thereafter.

Glunk cleanup is hard, laborious, and almost infinite work. People guess at the dimensions of the mess and chop it down at an average rate of one standard distance unit a year. And there is a prize for speeding up that rate that doesn't involve further pollution.

Considering that it is over a Decade's worth of luxuries, there is some stiff competition to win it.

(Muse food remaining: 13. Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories! Or comment below!)

Challenge #01421-C326: Finding Need

"The world has need of you." It's a poem by Ellen Bass. Write something based on it please. -- Knitnan

[AN: You can read the poem over here if you're interested.]

Space is big. It's easy to imagine that the dark gulf doesn't care for the whims of one small scavenger and their ship. It was easy to feel like one tiny candle in a vast expanse of hungry darkness.

And doing EVA, checking out some empty and dark hulk... it was

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Challenge #01414-C319: If it Ain't Broke...

"If it isn't broke don't fix it." -- Knitnan

It was a rule every JOAT broke, sooner or later. The desire to tweak, finesse, and otherwise improve something in their radius of activity would become overwhelming.

Tel found it extremely difficult resist, stranded on a comms station that had barely enough life support for technical staff. She had edible algae making her air, and a daily supply of algae cakes that kept her alive. But also bored out of her skull.

At

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Challenge #01411-C316: Hammer of Peace

"There's no need to fear, I come in peace,"

"Well first of all, everything you just said is a lie,"

"And second of all?"

"You're not what I'm afraid of." -- OohLookShiny

Clair the Mercenary took shelter beside the Phemeropt behind the boulder. "I know there was a distress call," she said. "Your colony is in danger and we don't know why."

"Erinacs," whispered the Havenworlder. "They've eaten all of our scouts."

"Ah," Clair stood up and got on the comms. "We

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Challenge #01404-C309: Fluff

Actual or mental popcorn. --Knitnan

They were sitting together on the couch, with buckets of butter-flavoured popcorn, and watching an archived entertainment as part of Ambassador Shayde's greater day job.

Rael gradually acquired the sensation that this particular entertainment had little worth.

"Is there a message behind this?"

"Eh... no' really."

"Is it art?"

"I think it's s'posed'a be funny," she said, dripping popcorn into her waiting mouth. "I don't get a lot of it."

"Me neither." He frowned at a

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Challenge #01400-C305: Incomprehensible Biology

Human females become the most feared aspect of humanity when aliens realize that they regularly bleed once a month as part of their reproductive cycle. -- YizukiKhons

When venturing into the wild spaces, those territories outside of the Galactic Alliance, it is vitally necessary to have at least one human on the crew. Their pack-bonding and protective capabilities were highly prized in wild space.

Such was the case with the TikTavi, where the ship's human had a name unpronounceable by the crew.

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Challenge #01390-C295: O My Mona

A soft smile hiding gritted teeth -- OohLookShiny

He called her Mona, for the smile that echoed the legendary painting. She never talked. Never opened her mouth. Never made a sound. The only communication he ever had from her was her soft and mysterious smile, and the glint in her eyes.

Not that he cared. He took his pleasures from her and left the money with the man who ran the House. But there was just something about Mona.

He came back

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Challenge #01388-C293: Cheerful Charlie

"No worries, Mate! No problem." -- Anon Guest

[AN: Other phrases that Aussies have learned to fear, especially those who remember Joh "I live to fuck up your life" Bjelke-Peterson, are "Don't you worry about that" and "She'll be right" ::twitch::]

If there was a worse curse for a ship's human, T'kethi couldn't think of a worse option than a N'Ozzie Engineer. T'kethi repeatedly set herself reminders to never again pick a human based on pure aesthetics.

They were all ugly, squishy

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Challenge #01387-C292: Ancient Wisdom

Measure twice, cut once, useful advice for anyone. -- Anon Guest

Rael knew he should have checked up on Shayde sooner. She had a knack for teaching new JOATs all the wrong tricks.

Chiefly: "Measure wi' micrometer, mark wi' chalk, cut wi' axe."

So, after hearing this, he simply had to barge in and defend his own honour. "The real adage, Trainee Melkith, is 'measure twice, cut once'. Ambassador Shayde labours under the misapprehension that she is funny."

"I was tellin' 'er

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Challenge #01383-C288: Default Fix

Imagine this 'go to' item [duct tape] had been lost and then turned up on Amalgam. -- Anon Guest

[AN: FYI, the titles you use on my forum for prompts do not survive my writing process]

Once upon a time, JOATs did not know about ductape. It seems impossible, but it was not as ubiquitous as it is today. Ambassador Harry was not the only one to come into Galactic society from the impact of the Chelete ship Explorer 255 and the

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Challenge #01382-C287: More Than Ductape

I needa! The perpetual cry of the (a) attempting to make/fix something. (b) Person hitting the twice a year Trade Show. -- Knitnan

Humans were amazing. Most Galactics reached the stars and harvested society for new ideas. Humans did the same, but then they warped those ideas further and made new and frightening things with them.

The most terrifying introduction to Galactic Society was ductape. Humans couldn't agree if it was 'duct tape' or 'duck tape', so Galactics compromised and made

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Challenge #01376-C281: Everything? Everything!

"I'm gonna eat everything!"

"Please don't, we'll be kicked out."

"Everything." -- OohLookShiny

There is just one reaction that newcomers have when entering an Unsuitable Food restaurant. Many newcomers have come from planets founded by people with ideals. Or from planets where entire species failed to flourish. And one human settlement survived with stone-age technology, an extremely limited diet, and ritualistic cannibalism, before the Alliance found them.

Faced with the abundance of all the foods of all the Alliance in every possible,

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Challenge #01375-C280: Needing Hands

Breathing bodies is a term for people, not necessarily qualified who can be used for tasks that free up more qualified people(@) - third hands? Well humans have only two, but some people are quite good at being a third hand when needed.(*)

(@) example "here, put your hand on this and yell if it gets hot."

(*) "Hold this steady while I tighten the coupling up." And there are times when they are invaluable. -- Knitnan

[AN: Footnotes in prompts are NOT a

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Challenge #01374-C279: Three Things They Did Wrong and One Thing They Did Right

http://khaleesijade.tumblr.com/post/150856878533/agentquinn-sepulchritude-my-fav-trope-is -- Anon Guest

Understanding humans is a difficult business. Gallusians, one of the earliest Galactic species to hire their services, know this better than most.

Kru'ku, designated companion/guide of the exploration vessel Tikavi, wrote what many consider to be the first guide centred around the proper care and handling of humans. Their work encapsulates years of research, anecdotal evidence, assumptions, and quite a large amount of wild guesses.

For a seminal work, it is

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Challenge #01372-C277: It's a Human Thing

1) Aliens being extremely confused when humans that spend any length of time in the area with the nice fashionable wallpaper become nauseous and when questioned try to explain that the patterns are moving

2) True Facts(TM) about Ghosts -- Anon Guest

[AN: This puts the gap count down to three!]

1)

The Klypt'l had done their best to be accommodating. They had refurbished any and all human artefacts into useful furniture -even comfortable furniture- for the use of their Deathworlder

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