Amalgam Universe

A 2280-post collection

Challenge #01606-D145: Miss Handling

"You place too much trust in me, I think."

"Until you can place more trust in yourself you may rely on mine in you." -- RecklessPrudence

Rael got the shock of his life just being invited to someone else's home. Five seconds inside the door, he got one big enough to turn his entire body silver.

Officer Lyr Marken, Subchief of Security for the JOAT sector of the Elemeno, had just handed him her infant daughter. With nothing more than a negligent, "Here, hold her for a sec'."

Rael fumbled not to drop her. Human infants, he remembered reading, were far more fragile than their adult counterparts. For such a small creature, she was amazingly heavy. She burbled and dribbled saliva at him. "Uh... I'm not sure I--"

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Challenge #01605-D144: Articles of Beauty

Us humans have skin lotions and hair straighteners/curlers - what do other species do to improve the Outer Alien? -- Anon Guest

There are things you can sell anywhere. Popcorn, for example, is the only known deathworlder food that is so inoffensive that it can be sold to Havenworlders. Many more things change uses between species.

"What is this liquid?"

"We call it 'varnish'. It's a clear polymer coat that adds shine to static surfaces."

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Challenge #01604-D143: They Grow So Fast

How about one where Aliens are stunned at the absurd growth rate/ regenerative properties that humans seem to have. Either for something as small as fingernails or hair needing constant maintenance, to 'how did that child grow a full METER in the ten years I was absent?!' -- Anon Guest

Human Steff had reproduced. Live birthing was trauma enough for most of the crew, but the idea that humans could be small and fragile was overwhelming. These mammals had to be

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Challenge #01603-D142: Eat Snax

"Fat grubs in butter sauce." this was from a Lizard culture's idea of Snack Food. Humans have popcorn, crisps, peanuts etc. So how about one of those Snack Food van equivalents that caters to various species, and make a good living thereby. -- Knitnan

Eat Snax the sign blared in potentially noxious colours. Underneath, a more staid sign discreetly told the observant that this was a suggestion and not an order. Inside the ludicrously small booth, a popcorn popper was doing its

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Challenge #01602-D141: Farewell Letter

[TITLE: Constant vigilance or endless confusion.] One of those sayings that are only too true, put your own spin on this one. -- Knitnan

They say, It's not paranoia if they really are out to get you. They say, pesimists are rarely disappointed. They are frequently right about this sort of thing. They really are out to get me. And I am very rarely disappointed in my expectations. Any day, they will find me. They will do horrible things. It's what they

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Challenge #01598-D137: That's One Bad Week

[Bad news]

[Worse news]

[Extremely horrible news]

[ohmygodwhatthefuck news]

One of the people who have to deal with it all, to the rest of same: ...well people, I'd say it's about time to drink ourselves into the mother of all stupors. It's been that kind of week. -- RecklessPrudence

First, the Gravity Drive failed. They still had internal gravity, but the virtual black hole in front of the bow that towed them along at CTL speeds[1] was no longer operational. The

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Challenge #01597-D136: T's and Switch

It is not really rocket science unless there has been at least one unplanned explosion. (Alt version) It is not really rocket science unless there has been at least one rapid unscheduled disassembly. -- RecklessPrudence

Katie could easily learn to hate the summer monthly T-Shirt Days. Hackmeyer kept ogling her boobs. Well. Where something boob-like was still forming. She was fifteen, and the last time she'd been forced to go along with T-Shirt Day, she wore her age with the subtitle, Don't

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Challenge #01596-D135: The Little Touches

the stuff every JOAT needs, and of course the Bargain Bin. -- Knitnan

It was one of those poky little storefronts that one could swear entered into another dimension. The ones with more depth than they rightfully should have had, and surprise extra levels with staircases and shelving designed by Escher. It was called simply Things and every JOAT browsed there at least once a day.

Inside was organised chaos. JOATs could do things with paperclips and ductape that no other cogniscent

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Challenge #01595-D134: The Memory Lingers On

The culch (useful junk), box for those glorious moments when. "I've got to be a Insert costume here tomorrow." arrive. -- Anon Guest

JOAT Erin had passed from this life and into whichever afterlife ze found the most entertaining. Pantheists such as Erin were expected to shop around in several for a few years and send a sign when they'd found the right one. Since Erin had no family that accepted hir, and no progeny to take up their work, the assembled

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Challenge #01594-D133: In the Cracks

Wants verses Needs on a tight budget. -- Knitnan

Plunt was not as lucky as others. Ze knew this. If there was some anti-luck where the cracks in any system for help neatly fit the description of Plunt, then ze definitely had it. Not poor enough for economic assistance. Not rich enough to shoulder emergencies with a shrug. Mentally disabled enough to make life difficult. Not mentally disabled enough to qualify for any kind of assistance. Able enough to pass for normal,

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Challenge #01593-D132: Understanding on the Brink of a Fall

"The stars died so that you could be here today." —Lawrence M. Krauss -- RecklessPrudence

Shayde found Ambassador Gunther on one of the uppermost balconies of the Elemeno, looking down at the bottom in a way she knew too well. There was a time when the word "Jump!" was a cruel joke, and a time when it would be taken as a serious suggestion. This was one of the latter cases.

Much though she'd love to see all the Greater Deregulations and

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Challenge #01592-D131: Takes Me WABAC

“The universe is change; life is your perception of it.” — Marcus Aurelius -- RecklessPrudence

What alarmed Rael the most about Ambassador Shayde was how quickly she adapted to the latest in technology. Only B'Nari tech confounded her, but then, it confounded everyone but the B'Nari, who were made to merge with it. Shayde had the annoying habit of treating anything knew as if it should have existed some years prior to its actual invention.

When given something from her own past, it

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Challenge #01590-D129: Concerned Citizens

This is like watching a train-wreck and the 1812 Overture happening simultaneously. -- RecklessPrudence

The Good Gastronomy Association had been trying to ban Unsuitable Food for decades. They protested that too many people were indulging too often in imbalanced, improper, and unscientific nutrition. The people opposing them protested that that was kind of the point. While it was possible to live forever on Nutri-Food, with all its variations in taste, flavour, and presentation, it was also a very dull life.

There is

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Challenge #01589-D128: Hazardous Playthings

Yo Yo See what you can do with this prompt. it would have been just yo yo but they wanted a longer sentence. -- Anon Guest

There is a uniquely human term, 'toy'. Though the concept of play is nothing new to many species in the Galactic Alliance, the Terran concept of things designed for play alone is strange to many. The fact that many of these objects used to be used as weapons just goes to show that Deathworlders are creatures

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Challenge #01588-D127: Culture Clash

how to be a good (Insert name here) Citizen. Let's hear it from one of the Lizard cultures. --Knitnan

"And who's your daddy, little one?"

Preek didn't understand the human's question. She had never known the word before this moment. "I have a Pripa and a Seppa[1]."

"I have trouble with all these new words," confessed the human. "It's so confusing. What's wrong with 'he' and 'she' and 'mommy' and 'daddy'?"

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