InterNutter

Indie writer seeks audience with an audience. Paying customers welcome. [pronouns: ze/hir] Daily free stories happen because it is an excellent counter to Writers' Block.

Burpengary East http://www.cmweller.com 12554 posts

Things I do when writing that may disturb others

This happens to artists a lot. When drawing the emotion/expression they wish to convey, that same expression also comes out in their faces.

I do this when writing expressions.

I also laugh out loud at my own jokes. And I have a really maniacal laugh. A megalomaniacal laugh. A real, genuine, no-mister-Bond-I-expect-you-to-die evil EVIL laugh.

And, to add the icing to the cake, I sometimes mutter choice phraseology. Either to test how it tastes [words have flavour! It’s true. Some turns of phrase are absolutely delicious as they trip off the tongue] or, because I think I’m a literary genius and that thing I’m in the process of putting down is just too frigging brilliant to herald into the world with silence.

I have been unaware that I do most of these things[the muttering was hard to miss…] for years.

YEARS.

I have also been committing literature on public transit. Usually in palm-sized notebooks easily obtainable from dollar shops.

…no wonder I always had a seat to myself.

And it also explains why, in the midst of my wrestling with the muse, relatives have wandered in, looked at me and said, “Oh, you’re writing.” and vanished before I could surface back into reality to ask them what the hell they were talking about.

…also shoulder-surfing me is never a good idea, for reasons that quickly become obvious. Writers always need some new and interesting ways to knock some character off.

Challenge #00110: Ohai We're From the Internet

Anywhere in the story: “There is no font size big enough to describe the ‘oh shit’ that is about to occur.”

The body corporate had done it. They’d finally leashed the beast of their own making. They controlled the internet. And there wasn’t even time to celebrate.

“Now, we need to start talking about the three 'sisses’. Censorship, sponsorship, and shill. Every single page, every site, every last goddamn corner of the

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Challenge #00109: Science Project

Parent: [Character name]? How much uranium is in the house…?

Child: [after much dancing about about whether it’s uranium at all, and if so, how much] Okay, a lot…

“Jachyx…” came the warning call of Parental Prime. “How much uranium is in the house?”

Jachyx hid her work and emerged from her private space. “Who says I have any uranium?”

“Security detected fissionable material, grubling.”

Gah. She hated it

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Words That Don't Exist But Should: Administrivia

Administrivia (n): 1. Data that, though it serves no obvious purpose, is nonetheless deemed necessary by the ruling faction - especially when it comes to getting said faction to hand over money. 2. Excessive red tape, above and beyond the call of duty. Most usually defined by queries as to the number of tattoos on obscure relatives, and their nature or genre. 3. Paperwork that can be safely ignored until someone yells at you for not filling it out.

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Challenge #00108: One Fine Day in a Ren Faire near Bayville

You’ll have to forgive my uncle, sir. He has a very unique sense of humor which involves not being funny.

Since she wasn’t riding horses, today’s costume was that of a paige. She was too tall and not chesty enough for the typical wench and the material still hadn’t come through for her chatelaine outfit, it was either a paige or a time traveller and people tended to be hostile to the latter.

Sara

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The Archive of Moronic Ideas (Or: Proof I constantly Nightblog)

I get ideas all the time. Some of them are pretty damn whack, but also shiny to the degree that my muse keeps picking the goldurn things up.

So I figured I might as well put them here in the hopes that someone will do something intelligent with them.

Jesus in America

(Yeah this is not going to get me burned at the stake) Not the blonde-haired, blue-eyed jee-zuss favoured by the right-wing loudmouths. The brown-skinned Jewish boy with novel ideas about

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Challenge #00107: One Fine Day in the Computer Lab

    Old software engineering joke: “Write your code as if it’ll be read three months later by a homicidal psychotic who knows where you live.”

    Spoiler: You know where you live, and will have to read your code three months later, when you’ve forgotten what much of it does.

“Who the hell was the fucktard who wrote this goddamn ugly shitty mess of shitty shit fuck!”

The entire cubicle labyrinth prairie dogged their heads above

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Stole this from a book

In days to come, he would reflect upon the premature nature of that thought. He would ponder it, as a sinner pondered the inexplicable actions of an irritated deity. He would wonder if perhaps, by allowing himself to think it, he had angered the God of Perversity, and Murphy, who is His Prophet. It was the only offense he could think of that might have explained what happened next.

(#000106)

He should never have asked, “What could possibly go wrong?”

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Words that don't exist but should: Scrattle

Scrattle (n): small, hard debris that tends to collect in the corners of containers of all varieties. e.g., I went through the scrattle in the bottom of my bag and found $5.98. prefix: techno– accumulated cables, thumb drives, and miscellaneous accessories that never get thrown out because they might return to usefulness once more. e.g., It’s only been one year and my desk drawer is overflowing with technoscrattle.

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catbountry: WHY DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS CAT BEFORE HER NAME IS TAMAAND SHE'S THE STATIONMASTER AT A TRAIN STATION IN JAPANSHE GREETS ALL...

catbountry:

WHY DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS CAT BEFORE

HER NAME IS TAMA
AND SHE’S THE STATIONMASTER AT A TRAIN STATION IN JAPAN
SHE GREETS ALL THE PASSENGERS
AND SHE HAS HER OWN OFFICE
AND SHE’S PAID IN CAT FOOD
AND SHE IS AN EXECUTIVE OF A RAILROAD STATION 

AND LOOK AT HER

image

the trains are decorated with cartoon versions of her since she’s their mascot as well

image

Japan is a nation comprised entirely of cat people.


I

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