InterNutter

Indie writer seeks audience with an audience. Paying customers welcome. [pronouns: ze/hir] Daily free stories happen because it is an excellent counter to Writers' Block.

Burpengary East http://www.cmweller.com 12167 posts

Iris and Peter Get Married (Eventually) [pt 41]

Chapter Forty-one.
(Resurfacing to reality, A significant error, An invader in his own home, and A tearful introduction)

Peter hadn’t focussed very much on what people outside his new construction lab were saying to him. Not until Rabbit and the boys started whooping it up about babies. A highly distracting mixture of cheering and panic at maximum volume.

And Mrs Cambridge literally dragged him away from his latest assembly.

“Hm? Pardon?”

“I said,” she growled, still dragging him away from his work. “You can go up and see them, now.”

It took him a few moments to process this bulletin. “It’s over? How many survivors?”

“All three are resting comfortably,” soothed Mrs Cambridge. “Mind you don’t wake any of them up. Your Iris has been through a marathon and those babies need sleep to grow.”

Babies? Wait. “Nobody informed me that my daughter had been born.”

Mrs Cambridge winced audibly as she pulled him to the elevator. “Wait. Nobody said you have two sons? O my lord, what a mess…”

Something had gone fundamentally wrong with the universe. “Er,” said Peter. “It doesn’t work that way. Twins are always a boy and a girl.”

“No. That’s rarer than the stories suggest, sir,” she said. Mrs Cambridge sounded entirely weary of the world as she propelled him into the elevator. “In fact, you’re more likely to get two girls or two boys than one of each.”

“Really?” He shook his head, almost bumping his nose off as Tom shut the cage doors. “Then it’s very wrong of all those novel writers to suggest that it is. Skewed perceptions can lead to a multitude of errors.” The realisation of what he’d done struck like the dawn after too much revelry. “Case in point, it seems.”

Mrs Cambridge watched him go up. “Just make it a funny story. Everyone will work around it.”

The elevator seemed to take forever. He could see some of his automatons racing up the steps. Three would beat them all up to the summit, and then slide down the bannister so he would be with them again to race anew. And then it was his turn, facing the guards outside the sheet that marked off the hallway between the rest of the world and Women’s Business.

He dawdled, of course. Making sure each automaton understood that quiet was essential to proceeding past the barrier. And then the ladies decided to let them in one at a time.

Peter went first. He’d grown up in these halls. He’d lived his life immune to their opulence. They were as much a part of him as his skin and hair. But now, past a single sheet hung hurriedly across the hallway, he felt like an intruder.

The air did not smell like a battlefield hospital, rank with blood and other bodily excretions. It smelled… cleaner than that. As if every surface had been scrubbed down with vinegar and rubbed over with salt. The carpets of his youth had gone, presumably rolled up somewhere for safekeeping. The bare wooden floors added to the eeriness of the scene.

And there, curled up in her bed, was Miss Iris. Someone had done her hair up in braids, like a little girl. An irony, considering how very womanly she had been for a majority of twenty-four hours. She slept the sleep of exhaustion, and no wonder. One baby was work enough to lay a mother up in bed for the better part of a week. Two had to be doubly trying.

His sons lay in the same crib. Tiny. Wrapped up in white swaddling. Well. Nearly wrapped up in white swaddling. One pink fist was making a bid for freedom.

Peter gently put his finger inside that little hand, feeling his son’s reflexes. Tears blurred his vision.

“That’s Peter Alexander Walter the third,” whispered Mrs Cambridge. “Iris says you are not to call him Tertius, nor are you to call his brother Secundus.”

He began to blubber. But very quietly, so as not to wake anyone up. “...i promise,” he squeaked. “...we’ll work something out together… Rabbit and the boys and Miss Iris and I.”

The priest was also there. Father Kerning. His blur murmured, “Their grandfather is eager to see their parents married.”

No doubt he was. “The Admiral will have to wait,” Peter croaked, voice thick with emotion. “Miss Iris must be able to participate. And I expect all of you to prevent him from pre-dating the paperwork.”

Mrs Cambridge smirked. Or at least, he hoped that was a smirk he could barely discern through his veil of tears. “We might have to tie him down.”


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Challenge #01102-C005: Curse? What Curse?

http://bonehandledknife.tumblr.com/post/133846067890/wewerenotthefirst-dude-what-if-a-prince-is

Have fun! -- RecklessPrudence

[AN: Adult content warning: the link inside that post leads you to an article about some very interesting toys]

Camilla had wanted to undo the curse straight away, of course. She had never meant to turn her fiancée into a dragon in the first place. She should have known something was dodgy about that newt's eye extract.

And yet... Frederik was taking his transformation so well. He loved to fly, and

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Hark, hark, the dogs... don't bark?

I had a curious incident of the dogs in the neighbourhood, this morning. Like in the Sherlock Holmes adventure Silver Blaze, they did not bark.

Not a single hound decided to greet me this morning. And I'm very used to the local canine population reacting like I'm Bobby The Serial Killer whenever I toddle by their particular patch of fence.

On one hand, it means that my neighbours around two blocks don't curse my existence or the goddamn cheerful "Good Morning!" I

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Iris and Peter Get Married (Eventually) [pt 40]

Chapter Forty.
(Gram’ma Josie at work, Anxiety all around, Good signs, and An important miscommunication)

Josie let the father and his inventions swarm for all of fifteen minutes. Plenty enough time for a first mother to get well over the idea of watching her go through the entire procedure. Nothing wearied a mother more than having the entire family fuss over her when she was busy doing the hardest work of her life.

The one called Hatchworth kept rummaging inside his

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Challenge #01101-C004: Simon Says...

Getting involved romantically with someone who has psychic powers can be... tricky.

You never know when her saying "I love you" just might become "You love me". -- Anon Guest

[AN: Why is it always a 'her' in these scenarios? You should watch Jessica Jones, Anon.]

"Come on," he said. "You know you love me." And just like that, all the rising bile at the situation... vanished. It evaporated like smoke. And in its place was nothing but love.

"Of course I

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Ugh it's muggy

The storm last night wasn't that amazing for us. Nor did it give us any respite from the humidity. Even though it's currently 28 degrees [84 Fahrenheit], it's that bloody humid that perspiration is literally dripping off me.

This is the exact kind of weather that has me skipping meals because I feel too awful to eat anything. Or has me snorking down ice cream by the bucket load because it's just too hot to think of eating anything else.

Pre-hydrating seems

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Iris and Peter Get Married (Eventually) [pt 39]

Chapter Thirty-nine.
(A series of blinks, A change in fortune, A change in friends, and Some really big worries)

For Iris, events rushed by in blinks. She closed her eyes as a maid, and opened them a verified fiancee. Peter moved her into her own suite, and played host to a midwife of both good experience and good record.

The canny woman, later introduced as Gram’ma Josie, sized Iris up and down and announced, “Oh yes. That’s twins, all right.

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Challenge #01100-C003: One Almost Humorous Afternoon in a Discworld Pub

Scumble. from the Wonderful World of Sir Terry Prachett. -- Anon Guest

[AN: I suspect this is you, Knitnan]

"It's made from apples," said the grinning local.

"Mostly apples," amended the barman.

The visitor from another dimension picked it up. "I like apple juice," said the brass machine, and downed the thimble-full[1] in a trice. The steam-powered machine smacked its lips for a few seconds. "Kinda fizzy," he said. "Is it supposed to taste rotten?"

"Er," said one of the formerly-guffawing

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Ermagerb...

Cosplaying when you can't fucking sew is expensive. When I have the free time, I am going to have to get myself some lessons on sewing and drafting.

I just spent almost $180 on a dress from HelloCosplay. It's a very nice dress, too. I still haven't got the corset because the sizing chart doesn't match the sizes when you order one 9_9

At least the prices are better than the potential angst of ordering from a place like FanPlusFriend.

I

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Iris and Peter Get Married (Eventually) [pt 38]

Chapter Thirty-eight.
(Cryptic utterances, Strange change of routine, Joyous news, and A fearful fate)

There was only one explanation that fit. Miss Iris had gone more than peculiar in his absence. She had odd, quiet fits of weeping where he couldn’t see her. And when she talked to him she was either baffling or angry with him

It began small, of course, with breakfast the morning after he came home.

“I have ceased being unwell,” she said out of nowhere.

“I

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Challenge #01099-C002: Sample Curse

"Oh! It's easy to get Feegles out of a pub. You just have to know how." -- Knitnan

"And how, pray tell," said the beleaguered barman, "does one get Feegles out of a pub?"

Tiffany Aching cleared her throat and climbed up to stand on the bar. ""Some schemie at the standin' stones is lookin' fer a tussle!"

The barman joined her on her perch as the Feegles stampeded out of the bar and towards the standing stones. The very distant standing

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Argledy blargledy.... Wwaaaaaahhhhh...

We have ONE MONTH to get everything together for WWC5 and I'm already panicking. Beloved has agreed to help me with the heart and I have the sinking suspicion that we will be making the dress because NOBODY sells gothic lolita togs anywhere near me. At least none that I can go to and try on.

There's one place that will make a dress for me, but it involves ordering and I have no idea if it's going to take less than

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Iris and Peter Get Married (Eventually) [pt 37]

Chapter Thirty-seven.
(A recurrence of levitation, The return of the good colonel, A new name, and Saved from sandwiches in anger)

Iris found out about Peter's return from the newspapers. Sightings of a gigantic mechanical giraffe were treated as amusing news by the press. Laughable jolly reports along the lines of some drunkards would see anything.

That man! The least he could have done was send one of his enigmatic telegrams.

But no, she had to find out at the same time

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Challenge #01098-C001: The Company Kept

http://callmegallifreya.tumblr.com/post/136636127295/mikkeneko-torn-by-dreams-thewintergrump -- Gallifreya

[AN: This story comes as a sequel to this one ]

He didn't get it. And nobody could understand his side of it either. Derek was not confused or mislead. He knew what his heart wanted, more than anything else in the world. And that was Allethar.

From their increasingly brief times together, he could tell that Allethar's parents had similarly antiquated attitudes. There was talk from both the human and the dragon families

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Brace yourselves

I finally finished 2015's year of Instants [now currently in the editing stage, coming out soon to a Smashwords near you] and I begin on this year's Leap Year of Instants because it's a leap year this year.

Which means a whole new brace of serial numbers and some confusion to new readers. It's OK. The numbering system is mostly for me. And they're a fairly unique identifier so there's no such thing as two stories with the same title and number.

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