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A 900-post collection

Challenge #00859-B128: Abominations of Nurture

I need to show [Person] how to repair things properly. Their first instinct is still to reach for a roll of [duct tape]. I just hope I’m not too late. Power corrupts, but the power of duct tape corrupts absolutely.

“Trigellis is a Spark. And Sparks should never be raised in the Holy order of JOATs. Things go… very wrong.”

“For
example,” Pletherly drew the curtains to reveal a contained lab. Where a Spark, presumably Trigellis, was busy piloting a machine apparently made of duct tape and paperclips… and nothing else.

“Yes. I’m
going to try and show him the advantages of gears and pistons… but he
may be too far gone.” Aukney produced the one key to the lab. “Do
prepare the -ah- advanced C-gas?”

“Of course,” Pleatherly bowed.

Therapy time had begun.

[Muse food remaining: 13. Submit a prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories!]

Come up to the lab, see what's on the slab...

A Frankenstein-esque mad scientist (re)creates life from parts of the dead, and one of the first responses from his new (female) creation is an exploratory grope and a frustrated…

“Dammit, you could’ve at least tried to get a matching pair…”

(#00858-B127)

“What? They aren’t the same size? But the clothing label on your donor said D cup…”

“This one is a thirty-five D,” explained the monster, juggling a bosom. “This one is a thirty D. The cup size

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Challenge #00857-B126: Wake up and Smell the Progress

‘We had a perfectly good slow rolling apocalypse going on before you decided to get involved, you know.’ they said, after a long pause.

‘Now you have a fast apocalypse. Rejoice; progress has come to you.’

She didn’t struggle very hard when they dragged her down into the
catacombs. And she really shouldn’t have been surprised that all the
members of the Secret Cabal were all chairmembers of various Big
Corporate Entities.

“Lord Monsando. Does this belong to you?

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Challenge #00856-B125: Just... Don't Ask

I’d ask what else could go wrong, but I think I’ve got quite enough happening as it is, thank you.

“Awright… awright…” the entity calling herself Shayde seemed to
be having difficulty with the sugar-coated and softened information they
had just told her. “I can deal wi’ this. I can… I can deal wi’ this. Wee bitty bits. Aye. Deal wi’ it in wee bitty bits.”

The attending
medtechs were watching her vital signs like hawks. As

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Challenge #00855-B124: One Dark and Stormy Evening in an Abandoned Subterranean Clank Lab

“Listen carefully,” they said. “This is absolutely true and not at all a desperate lie.”

Click-clack-clunk. “Previous data indicates that the organic will now lie. Subject… asks… that you do not.”

The human invader paused. “All right. Fine. I don’t want to be trapped in here.”

“Neither do I,” said Subject. “Subject wants… I need… my creator.“

Now the human narrowed their eyes. “You’re not the average clank… are you?”

Subject
looked down at the

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Challenge #00854-B123: Ahead by a Nose

Child: Mommy! Mommy! I found a head! Can I keep it?
Mum: No, you can’t keep it. Now go and give it back to the gentlebot who lost it.
Child: They didn’t say “thank you”, Mommy.
Mum: Don’t worry about it, dear. Some people don’t know how to be polite after they’ve been decapitated.

[AN: We all know the gentlebots of steampoweredgiraffe​ are well-mannered enough thank peeps who help when they’ve lost their heads, so…

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Challenge #00853-B122: Summons in Trouble

“…‘and thus do we condem the acts of the malevolent…’? Wait… MALEVOLENT? How dare they call me ‘malevolent’!”

“Yeah, if anything, you’re just incompetent.”

“…Of course, I – hey, who’s side are you on, anyway?!”

“Yours, of course, Master… but even you must admit that your experiments are… a little lacking.”

“Of course they are - they’re experiments. They exist so that I know what to do better next time.”

“But the cogniscent cheese, sir…”

“What?

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Challenge #00852-B121: Catching Up

Ok If I’ve timed this right it ought to be just after eurovision.

Your prompt today is whatever act won.

[AN: You got it right. I’m willing to bet you were expecting something like Gay Disco Dracula though]

Shayde called it ‘degaussing’ when she didn’t call it “Catching up wi’ five hundred years o’ Tivo” and it usually involved a bucket of popcorn. Buttered, of course.

“So what are you binging on, tonight?”

“Eurovision.”

Her answers always surprised him.

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Challenge #00851-B120: One Fine Evening at a Galactic Mixer Party

Between two cultures, the body language and customs for aggression/anger in one are very similar to the flirting/courtship of the other.

In this scenario: A series of attempts to get an individual to agree to a date are taken entirely the wrong way.

She shouldn’t have gone amongst the Deathworlders. She could already feel her mortality creeping up on her. Havenworlders and Deathworlders never mixed well.

“Pretty,” said one of the Deathworlders. A tall beast with entirely too much

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Challenge #00850-B119: One Fine Bar Fight at a Galactic Crossroads

Between two cultures, the body language and customs for aggression/anger in one are very similar to the flirting/courtship of the other.

In this scenario: An aggressive display is mistaken for flirting.

She got into the human’s personal space. Closed her off from any escape. Rumbled in a low threat, “I like your face.”

The human bared her teeth and uttered a barking call. Then she pressed her rubbery mouth to  Hoq’a’lu’gi’s face. “I think you’

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Challenge #00849-B118: Tough Crowd

A species that has a language where musical vocables (La, de, dum, da etc.) are all either swearwords or very rude.

“I d-d-d-d-don’t know what happ-p-p-ened,” complained Rabbit.

“We were going so well,” said The Spine. “It doesn’t compute… it doesn’t compute…”

“…i don’t want to be mus-ic-ians an-y-more…” sulked Hatchworth.

Pete 17, urgently directing repair teams of Walter Workers, took a deep breath. “What the heck happened? Everybody loves your music…”

“I

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Challenge #00848-B117: It Just Goes

About the EM Drive, a possible new space drive that no-one has a coherent theory on HOW it works, but as long as no mistakes have been made in the experiments, it seems that it does. …Somehow.

“Well, the future space programs will no longer need propellants. However, they should probably investigate this thoroughly, this looks like an accidental discovery of summoning…things. While using Cthulhu as a propellant sounds hilarious no one wants to know what happens after that. ”

[AN: The

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Challenge #00847-B116: The Diving War

This battle would be much more intense if both sides weren’t trying to lose.

“If we do not win for the glory of the emperor, we will be executed as criminals.”

“But we can’t win! The odds are stacked against us.”

“Have no fear! I have bribed the other general to lose to us. All we have to do is make sure that we don’t hurt his men.”

Meanwhile, in the other camp…

“The emperor told us to

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Challenge #00846-B115: Vortex Realm

“Help! I’m trapped in a Craft Show.”

How many aisles must a man walk down? How many different booths could stock yarn? And what the hell was tatting?

Maisy stopped at yet another booth that sold merchandise almost identical to the last booth.

“…uuuuuuuuuuuugh…” groaned Paul, designated human packhorse. “My feet hurt. How big is this show floor? Can I please put this crap in our room and go for a coffee?“

“Hmm?” Maisy looked up from an array

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Challenge #00845-B114: Hearts Wild

The adventures of an Australian in the Everfree Forest.

[AN: The pony in this story has almost nothing to do with Steve Irwin and is a parody of several nature presenters and possibly Bush Tucker Man]

The Everfree Forest. A peculiar patch of land that has never needed a pony’s help to operate. The plants grow by themselves. The clouds have seeming autonomy. It’s whispered that the animals, there, eat each other.

It’s a dangerous place. Unsafe for the

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