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real life

A 3905-post collection

Welp. That's Me Fucked Up

It's already Wedensday and the odds of me working on SESP at all are... low.

And I really need to look after myself rather than fret about what I'm not doing.

BUT....

Because anxiety, I gotta fret anyway. Which drains the personal batteries. Which leaves me less energy for doing the thing. Which lowers the odds of thing-doing even further. Which increases the guilt for not doing the thing.

::Windmills of Your Mind plays in the background::

I need permission to just relax, and that's never easy. If I can make something of a start this week then I earn a gold star.

Motivation is hard when one has forgotten half of what one was doing and how one was doing it. I can feel another kludge session coming on.

Meanwhile, I do what I do best. More instant stories.

Stop Hitting Myself...

Another crowded day ahead.

  • The usual morning blogging and story rigmarole
  • Meeting with Chaos' teacher in an hour and a half
  • Gotta secure some supplies
  • The usual novel stuff
  • Patreon Tuesday
  • Find time and energy for an hour of SESP
  • Drive away the guilt for not being able to do so yesterday

All I want to do, on the other hand, is catch up with Critical Role and finish writing a whump fic.

Maybe after I finish B'Nar [in a little under

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Another Monday

Another brat run. Another money dash. Another cleaning day.

Another start on another 3K in a novel.

Another week of just wanting to slob out and do nothing and not worry about shit. But worrying anyway because chronic anxiety just won't quit.

Another week of fighting depression because my Beloved is busy and we hardly talk/hug at the moment and... ugh.

And this week, I'm planning to take an hour to work on SESP so I can maybe have a hope

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Oh dear...

I had a nice day of sloth. Alas, it got a little ruined by the fact that Mayhem's tummy troubles have returned and I never did see that higher-level quack about the magic medicine(tm).

Which Beloved yelled at me about.

Nevermind that Mayhem was effectively cured for a fucking fortnight. Or said he was cured.

The caveat to this is that the higher-level quack doesn't like operating outside of school hours, so it'll be a couple of weeks until we get

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Laze Ethic

There needs to be an opposite of a work ethic. That's the one I'm going with for now. It's where you purposely make time to slob around and do just the things that make you feel better.

Be that a gigantic bubble bath, a day of trash TV and worse food, or a day of retail therapy. Or a wine and karaoke night. Whatever. You take that entire day and enjoy it and don't think about work because you freaking earned this.

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Friday Fun

Mayhem has new travel arrangements. He's riding as far as Beloved's work, and then catching public transit the rest of the way to the new digs in Toowong. Then doing that in reverse on the way home.

Which means I don't have to drive anywhere at all.

I just hang out at home all day and only make appearances for Miss Chaos' bus.

Best. Day. Of the week. Officially.

At least for hopeless hermit me. Who would much rather be chilling in

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Making Time

So much can occupy a mind. In my case, The Adventure Zone, Mumbo Jumbo, and a bunch of like-minded nerds on Discord.

They ate my morning.

I have ten minutes or less to do this, post something, and get my kids pointed in the correct direction for school. Huzzah.

And the Ekka Flu this year is (a) looking like a digestive bug and (b) attacking my insides. Fun times for your local 'Nutter.

I still have to do my Wordpress Wednesday, too.

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I Hate Ekka Week

Turns out the Wednesday I thought we all had off is only applicable to Beloved because Ekka Week Be Fucked Up. Ugh.

And I suspect I keep forgetting this lesson every goddamn year.

My brain is like a sieve, dear readers. And things like "Day off" get stuck when knowledge like "not a day off" just fall through the gaps.

Sigh.

I should just focus on writing stories. I know where I am with those.

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Day Off, Day On, Day Off...

Today, everyone is back to the grindstone. Assuming there aren't the massive amounts of sickies being chucked because who wants a week like this, right?

If there's ever a campaign to make the entire Ekka Week a holiday, I'm in. Just because of this shit.

My little darlings are both ready to rock and roll. Which makes a pleasant change from the death scenes of the week prior. Mayhem continues to claim he's cured and we're all working hard to get him

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Ekka Week

It's the most... fuck'd up-ish tiiiiimmmme of the yeeaaarrrr...

Monday: Chaos stays home and Mayhem goes to school
Tuesday: Mayhem stays home and Chaos goes to school
Wednesday: Public holiday for Queenslanders. Everyone stays home
Thursday: Everybody back to what passes for the normal schedule
Friday: Mayhem off to his new Traineeship workplace. Huzzah

And then next week, everyone comes down with the Ekka Flu. Yay.

It happens with every big gathering of like-minded weirdoes. People go even when they're feeling crummy

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Lazy Sunday

Nowhere to go. Nothing to do if I got there. No money to afford anything because spending spree yesterday.

Jamaican chocolate cheesecake is very rich and very dense and I may spend weeks whittling mine down to next to nil. The rest of my family aren't fans. On one hand: more chocolate for me. On the other... Carbs are a weekends-only occupation. Boo.

I plan to freeze any remaining slices so that they don't go off in the interim.

Mayhem claims he's

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Teh PLN

Step 1: Wait for Beloved to drag self out of bed
Step 2: Go fetch them chicken thighs
Step 3: Also cheesecake, cream, and goopy naughty foods for some weekend indulgeance
Step 4: Play time!

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Reasons to Focus

If I get done early, I can listen to a new episode of The Adventure Zone. Which I can't find at the moment because it isn't yet out on iTunes.

If I get done early, I can work on that painful fanfic I'm writing and thereby be able to torture folks when I'm done posting Fifteen Little Words. [Because all writers are secretly arseholes, that's why]

If I get done early, I can fart around in Factorio, Minecraft, or one of the

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Time Flu

I don't know what's going on with me, but it might be interesting to look into it. My batteries are regularly drained by the end of the day. Protein doesn't help. Sugar certainly won't. Having a meal doesn't quite get me back up there, but the willingness to cook it is missing.

Yay.

I probably have the morbs plus anxiety because trying to sell Adapting is getting to me. That and the fact that I'm only halfway towards the Lappy of my

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FOCUS!

Mayhem is sick at home. Throwing up. So I'm dragging him to the doctor's a little later on. Story is happening whenever because this.

On the plus side: The Gold Coin Grass is working. All the you-have-gallstones side effects are present. On the other hand, that includes vomiting which means another trip to the doctor's.

The other plus is that I now know of Ursodeoxycholic acid. [ur-so-de-ox-ee-ko-lick]which will dissolve the gallstones and bypass the need to get the gall bladder removed.

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