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Humans Are Weird

A 174-post collection

Challenge #02394-F204: Achievement Accomplished

"Why do you always have a magnifying glass?"

"I like having dumb and/or ridiculous things with me, and a magnifying glass checks both boxes. Also, it's not ALWAYS a magnifying glass." -- Anon Guest

"What? So... it's a multitool?"

"Well, there is a set of incrementally smaller screwdrivers in the handles, but that's not the point. A magnifying glass is specifically useful in weird directions and I love it. It's a solar-powered firestarter, an analysis tool, a joke prop and a general excuse to be strange."

Thorax glared at the Human. "That's a life goal for you, isn't it?"

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Challenge #02387-F197: Very Strange Creatures

I always believed that humans were these unstoppable beasts, until I met one of their infants. -- Anon Guest

Elsewhere Station. Here there be Humans. Seryk watched hir step. Ze only wanted to hire one human for the exploratory mission and this was one of the Edge Territory stations where they were reputed to swarm. So far, Seryk had seen numerous Edge species, but few Humans.

Those who were present were busy at other occupations. Seryk searched for hours, but found few

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Challenge #02385-F195: How Lucky

A scientific analysis crew of aliens hire a human bodyguard. The human has a strange power over fauna, as in they become friendly/borderline domesticated like earth pets. The human is confused as it's happened in many planets/stations. Meanwhile the scientists are having trouble between making sure to get the data and making sure the human stays on as a permanent crew member. -- Anon Guest

It is a known rule of the universe that Humans will attempt to pet anything

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Challenge #02374-F184: Interesting Impressions

Imagine meeting a species that displayed all their emotions via dermal colour displays. And how humans would react to them -- Adam in Darwin

As first contact situations go, the meeting between Humans and Acrodontids could have plausibly gone better. When it comes to meeting Humans, it's a minor miracle that they don't shoot on sight. Those who don't shoot on sight are the ones who tend to enthusiastically pack bond. It's still a matter of debate as to which is worse.

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Challenge #02373-F183: The Human Paradox

An alien publishes his work on "The human paradox", the fact that the universe is a more safer place since the most deadliest species are everywhere. -- Hyorky

Humans are a paradox, Grax wrote in hir treatise. They are simultaneously the bravest and the most cowardly, the most generous and the most miserly, the most sensible and the most insane. As Deathworlders, they should also be the most hazardous species in the Galactic Alliance, but, as we all know, Alliance space has

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Challenge #02366-F176: Fight, Flight, or...

Fight or flight, the natural reactions to fear. Though, people don't mention one, freeze. People like to ignore that possibility because it tends to put them in danger. Unfortunately for them, it is real, it is dangerous, and it is terrifying if you happen to be the one experiencing it. -- Anon Guest

Most Humans can be relied upon to act quickly in an emergency. Most of them. Their presence in any place of inherent hazard is reassuring to anyone in field

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Challenge #02359-F169: Noisy Air

"What was that sound?"

"Oh, it was nothing. I'm just haven't gotten a chance to eat yet."

"Your body makes threat growls when it is hungry!?" -- Anon Guest

Working with Humans has its own hazards. The most common of which is encountering something the Humans consider normal, but the rest of known civilisation considers strange, new, or frightening. In turn, every species has their own unusual features, functions, or quirks that set them apart from everyone else. It's why the very

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Challenge #02354-F164: Occupational Safety and Health

Humans don't know it but they acutely have a small connection to the 4th dimension.

Whenever a human gets a 'gut feeling' or 'deja vu' that's when they do it. -- Chara Dreemur

Three dimensions, all beings can navigate: length, depth, and width. The fourth, time, is something that moves us, and can be sensed by most[1]. What surprises many is the occasional ability to navigate the fourth dimension... partially. This ability inevitably turns up in Humans, but those infected with

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Challenge #02335-F145: Non-Solutions

"We need options."

"Well, I would say 'kill them all', but none of you ever remember it's a joke."

"HOW IS MASS MURDER A JOKE!?"

"How is mass murder NOT a joke when we're not actually gonna do it?"

"Ok new rule, no more dark humor during meetings." -- Anon Guest

"This isn't a meeting, it's a tragedy in progress."

"How is death possibly funny?"

"All of you. Can it for a sec'. We actually need a working plan," Grax sighed as

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Challenge #02330-F140: Take Art

it is not hard to tell the difference between a human run ship and one that is run by others, for humans love color, ships run by humans often have painted walls and images everywhere, for ships that have a 'ships human' it is often best to allow them to decorate their living spaces to avoid agitation from staring at monochrome walls all the time (humans that don't decorate generally enjoy music, writing or other creative acts) -- Anon Guest

Every species

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Challenge #02329-F139: Playtime With Humans

There was one human who always pack bonded with others the same way: laying on the floor and talking, softly singing, and telling stories. -- Anon Guest

Some habits are hard to shake. For Human Steve, it was bonding with the ships' babies. Not every cogniscent species has the same lifespan as a Human. Some have very brief lives, indeed. After twenty years with assorted short-term ships, it was hir habit to go directly to the nursery and play with the little

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Challenge #02325-F135: Where the Mouth is

"That will never Work!"

"Bet you a (Insert Currency) that you can't."

"Be ready to lose that (Insert Currency)!!!" -- Anon Guest

If there is anything that a Human can be relied upon, it is their ability to take on ridiculous wagers and then win them. No matter how impossible the task. No matter how ludicrously low the bet. Humans will move galaxies to get those bragging rights. Even the tenderest and least offensive Havenworlder can goad a Human into action with,

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Challenge #02323-F133: And Then They Kiss

You cannot tell me that there wasn't at least a SMALL group of humans who took one look at the Karmorp'se and got super happy! There are people who LOVE horror movie monsters! I bet SOMEONE was excited! -- Anon Guest

[AN: This prompt references this thing for those of you who don't want to do an archive trawl]

Humans have an astonishing number of sayings about their own mating habits. Just one is: Love is many things, none of them logical.

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Challenge #02322-F132: Unexpected Reaction

One human captain has a very, intense, reaction to adrenaline. Thankfully, the crew is understanding. (I was thinking crying/sobbing but if you get a better idea then that's perfect.) -- Anon Guest

Adrenaline is a powerful chemical. It does not, as many expect, make Humans violent. This is just one way for Humans to react. The typical reactions caused by Adrenaline is one of two: Fight... or Flight. Without emotional direction, the side-effects include nausea, an urgent need to vacate the

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Challenge #02312-F122: Raise Your Voice

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=scWkCJ8xDmI

Humans are one of the only species where Things like a Flashmob or something similar ever could happen.

Alien gets the feels OwO -- Anon Guest

It was late. Even the Humans in this particular well of stairs and doors were quiet. It happened spontaneously. Someone sang a note. Others joined in. Once harmony was accomplished, the Humans fell silent for a moment.

One thousand Humans, all agreeing on the same song. Those non-Humans present

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