Humans Are Weird

Challenge #02482-F292: Sauce Please

Humans are known to be very adaptable to most conditions thanks in no small part to the horrors that come naturally on their home planet. So while many aliens won’t be making Earth a tourist hot spot of the galaxy, the next best thing to experience human cultures are the restaurants in the space stations or food markets on a human colony. Seriously, if you have to think of nutrition requirements for more then two different species but can only go to one source? An authentic human restaurant is your best bet. -- from tumblr

Humans have a very wide definition of 'edible'. Many of them also pride themselves on their capacity for hospitality. It shouldn't have come as a shock that Human restaurants catered to local cuisine as well as disparate Galactic needs associated with a blend of Havenworlders, Deathworlders, and every creature in-between. Yet, it did anyway.

Welcome to the Edge Territories. The best place to find hives of scum and villainy. Also the most checkered collections of civilisations ranging from 'technically' to 'surprisingly advanced'. You can also find the kind of restaurants that would not be found anywhere else.

Welcome to Eldy's. The 'Eat' has been crudely painted on two different pieces of salvage and bolted or nailed to the superstructure on either side of the sign. There, the scent of cooking food wafts out with the steam, where clever use of the ventilation system is more or less free advertising. The menus are in GalSimple with pictures of what the expected meal looks like. Halos and skulls indicate which offerings are safe for Havenworlders and which ones are strictly for Deathworlders only. The number of each symbol indicates which level they're safe for. While everyone can safely ingest Level 5 Havenworlder fare, the same does not hold true for Level 5 Deathworlder food. Which, it might be noted, also can contain scofield scale levels.

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Challenge #02479-F289: What in a Name

A small movement has cropped up amongst the Vorax. People who would rather try to live quiet, peaceful, lives instead of piracy and war. When the government goes to make an example out of them, they take the only ship they can get their hands on and flee. They find an uninhabited haven world that's suitable for them to live on and settle down to live quiet lives as farmers, raising their meat animals, hunting wild game, fishing, growing crops, and just

Challenge #02478-F288: Hope in the Dark Times

A distant planet has caught ancient radio signals from earth. They are visual images and audio of the chronicles of a exploratory ship and it's crew.

Over 200 years before humans figured out long-term space travel...

Everyone is confused. -- AmberFox

Filtering things out of the Hydrogen Line is an interesting task. Though it is a band relatively free of interference, there is still signal fade as it disperses through deeper space. Those listening for the echoes of the big bang regularly

Challenge #02475-F285: Dismantling Babel

Humans may not be able to recreate the visual cacophony of many species in the Allegiance due to a lack of chromatophoric organs,

(though the "body art" some inflict upon themselves both temporarily with chemical compounds on the Dermis, as well as via repeated and what they call "minor" puncturing of said dermal tissue coupled with the injection of colouring chemicals)

But what they can do with their vocal and pneumonic systems in mimetic creation and improvisation is incredible, and now it

Challenge #02473-F283: Yo Ho, Foe No Mo'

A band of pirates attack a ship they'd learned would be mostly hauling civilians, students, and their possessions. What they don't realize is the ship they attacked, though owned by havenworlders, is filled with deathworlders, mostly humans. To pass the time while waiting for the fight to end, the humans pick up their instruments to practice the music they were going to play at the interspecies music competition. But there are other music lovers out there, too. Can a pirate learn to

Challenge #02471-F281: Double the Experience

They were twins, identical to the last freckle. It brought them no end of joy with playing pranks on friends, or on unsuspecting galactics, when they wore the exact same clothes and hair styles. Very few have ever seen humans that looked, sounded, and acted so similar that they could practically be ONE person in two bodies. But they were in space for a reason. To learn new foods, new cuisines, new inspirations. They wanted to open a restaurant that could one

Challenge #02470-F280: Fluidity

A genderfluid human whose sexuality changes along with their gender, attempts to explain how they experience life to someone with very little context, save for that this particular human is sometimes interested in them and sometimes... just wants to play video games together. -- Anon Guest

Humans have so many labels for things. It could be amusing, were it not for the multitude of those who struggle with those labels and what they mean to them. Prefixes and suffixes and interfixes, oh

Challenge #02467-F277: Human Jae's Video Log

Up next, the top 10 questions you'll get from your intergalactic crewmates. -- Anon Guest

Hey, out there, infonets! It's your friendly wandering Human Jae! Living large on the Edge of the Galactic Alliance, yeeeaaaahhhh... Have no fear, I am mostly harmless, I swear. That thing with the Vorax scout troop was a fluke I have yet to explain. Promise.

So I've been doing the round robin thing, escorting the. Absolute. Cutest. Havenworlders on their scientific excursions, and oh my God I

Challenge #02464-F274: No Ordinary Fool

Master Chef in SPAAACCEE!!! -- Anon Guest

Chefs tend to treat certain groups of people differently. Professionals who mess up are far more likely to get the chewing out of a lifetime than a small child or a student who is just beginning to learn. The most famous of them who held this philosophy has managed to spread it memetically through most of Human space. Now, every Human chef follows the same philosophy.

Now, because of the Train Wreck Phenomenon, cogniscents all

Challenge #02453-F263: A General Warning

"Do you wanna go with me, [fellow Havenworlder]? Human Frank invited me to a showing of one of his favourite - what's the word? Ah, "movies"! No, stop screaming! This one is just some made-up story about wooden mush or something. Sounds pretty safe, probably not much violence there."

[ten minutes into Pulp Fiction]

"AAAAAAAAAAAAH!" -- Anon Guest

Never trust Human entertainments. They are made by Deathworlders, for Deathworlders and, for many years after they met and learned about Havenworlders, about Deathworlders.

Challenge #02452-F262: Tolerance Overload

Genders are like the twin towers; there was two of them, now it's a sensitive topic. -- Anon Guest

[AN: Oh boy, am I glad you're an Anon or I'd track you down and logically explain how this is so wrong on multiple levels]

There were rainbow flags everywhere. People wore their identities on their chests, on their faces, around their wrists and draped over their shoulders like a caped hero. Dave only knew what half of those colour combos meant, and

Challenge #02446-F256: Do No Harm

In her late teens, early 20's, she went into space to learn to be a medic. From the time she was a small child, she had wanted to be someone who saved lives. She was a Lucker with a twist. For though she never won at cards, dice, or at any game she played, when it came to the struggle between life and death, death would always lose. And she had vowed, no matter her patient be a friend or an enemy,

Challenge #02427-F237: The Tune Called Yakety Sax

[AN: So Steemit.com is having some shenanigans which prevent me from posting there. Rest assured that this tale will be up as soon as it can be managed, at which point this post will change to the default template. Thank you for your patience and understanding]

Explaining 'The Benny Hill Show' to future Culture classes. -- Anon Guest

Every entertainment is a product of its time and a product of its medium and a product of its culture. Nothing shows this

Challenge #02422-F232: Crit Happens

Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don't find out 'til too late that he's been playing with two queens all along. ~Terry Pratchett

Also known as being a DM. (Dungeon Master) -- Anon Guest

Imagine a game so complicated that even the experts have to look up the rules. It is not just played with dice, but also cards, charts, tables, books, miniatures, and a hell of a lot of imagination. There is only one person at the

Challenge #02421-F231: Organically Sourced Isotopes

Imagine the surprise across the Galactic Alliance when they discover that humans have more than a mild tolerance to small doses of radiation, and that some of our plants are (in large enough quantities) active enough to set off sensors designed to detect much more harmful materials...

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bananaequivalentdose -- Adam in Darwin

The stasis box arrived in successive layers of protective wrapping, depending on which port it had shipped through, and which species did

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A 175-post collection

Challenge #02482-F292: Sauce Please

Challenge #02479-F289: What in a Name

Challenge #02478-F288: Hope in the Dark Times

Challenge #02475-F285: Dismantling Babel

Challenge #02473-F283: Yo Ho, Foe No Mo'

Challenge #02471-F281: Double the Experience

Challenge #02470-F280: Fluidity

Challenge #02467-F277: Human Jae's Video Log

Challenge #02464-F274: No Ordinary Fool

Challenge #02453-F263: A General Warning

Challenge #02452-F262: Tolerance Overload

Challenge #02446-F256: Do No Harm

Challenge #02427-F237: The Tune Called Yakety Sax

Challenge #02422-F232: Crit Happens

Challenge #02421-F231: Organically Sourced Isotopes