Humans Are Weird

Challenge #02475-F285: Dismantling Babel

Humans may not be able to recreate the visual cacophony of many species in the Allegiance due to a lack of chromatophoric organs,

(though the "body art" some inflict upon themselves both temporarily with chemical compounds on the Dermis, as well as via repeated and what they call "minor" puncturing of said dermal tissue coupled with the injection of colouring chemicals)

But what they can do with their vocal and pneumonic systems in mimetic creation and improvisation is incredible, and now it seems their version of GalStand, often referred to GalSimple, is starting to become the norm on the outer rim due to its ease of use by everyone for communicating -- Adam In Darwin

Communication is... a problem. Most species rely on sound waves, specifically compressing and de-compressing air in rapid oscillation to make specific and unique noise. The form these noises take are as many and varied as the concept of noise itself. Others communicate strictly visually with flashes of light or with movements of their body. Some communicate mostly through scent. Understandably, this has lead to many difficulties and assistive communications devices.

Further problems occurred when linguistic contamination occurred, species picking up other species' words or phrases because they were just so darned useful, mashing them into their own means of communication, and moving onwards from there. Something had to be done, and that something was GalStand. A collection of the most popular, useful, and versatile words and phrases with the pronunciation adjusted so that the most peoples can say them with the least amount of garbling. For those with non-verbal communication, there is GalStand Sight and GalStand Scent. GalStand is relatively easy to translate into GalStand Sight and GalStand Scent.

Then the Humans came along. They had languages with long, complicated histories out of creatively borrowing words from other languages and cultures, and using them for their own nefarious purposes[1]. The creoles fissioned as a direct result. What also emerged was a new, pared-down language with a minimal grammar structure and simple conjunctions of meaning. Humans took one look at the increasingly-complicated GalStand, figured out the minimal possible ways to communicate meaning, and created GalStand Simple. Which, in turn, was quickly pared down to GalSimple.

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Challenge #02473-F283: Yo Ho, Foe No Mo'

A band of pirates attack a ship they'd learned would be mostly hauling civilians, students, and their possessions. What they don't realize is the ship they attacked, though owned by havenworlders, is filled with deathworlders, mostly humans. To pass the time while waiting for the fight to end, the humans pick up their instruments to practice the music they were going to play at the interspecies music competition. But there are other music lovers out there, too. Can a pirate learn to

Challenge #02471-F281: Double the Experience

They were twins, identical to the last freckle. It brought them no end of joy with playing pranks on friends, or on unsuspecting galactics, when they wore the exact same clothes and hair styles. Very few have ever seen humans that looked, sounded, and acted so similar that they could practically be ONE person in two bodies. But they were in space for a reason. To learn new foods, new cuisines, new inspirations. They wanted to open a restaurant that could one

Challenge #02470-F280: Fluidity

A genderfluid human whose sexuality changes along with their gender, attempts to explain how they experience life to someone with very little context, save for that this particular human is sometimes interested in them and sometimes... just wants to play video games together. -- Anon Guest

Humans have so many labels for things. It could be amusing, were it not for the multitude of those who struggle with those labels and what they mean to them. Prefixes and suffixes and interfixes, oh

Challenge #02467-F277: Human Jae's Video Log

Up next, the top 10 questions you'll get from your intergalactic crewmates. -- Anon Guest

Hey, out there, infonets! It's your friendly wandering Human Jae! Living large on the Edge of the Galactic Alliance, yeeeaaaahhhh... Have no fear, I am mostly harmless, I swear. That thing with the Vorax scout troop was a fluke I have yet to explain. Promise.

So I've been doing the round robin thing, escorting the. Absolute. Cutest. Havenworlders on their scientific excursions, and oh my God I

Challenge #02464-F274: No Ordinary Fool

Master Chef in SPAAACCEE!!! -- Anon Guest

Chefs tend to treat certain groups of people differently. Professionals who mess up are far more likely to get the chewing out of a lifetime than a small child or a student who is just beginning to learn. The most famous of them who held this philosophy has managed to spread it memetically through most of Human space. Now, every Human chef follows the same philosophy.

Now, because of the Train Wreck Phenomenon, cogniscents all

Challenge #02453-F263: A General Warning

"Do you wanna go with me, [fellow Havenworlder]? Human Frank invited me to a showing of one of his favourite - what's the word? Ah, "movies"! No, stop screaming! This one is just some made-up story about wooden mush or something. Sounds pretty safe, probably not much violence there."

[ten minutes into Pulp Fiction]

"AAAAAAAAAAAAH!" -- Anon Guest

Never trust Human entertainments. They are made by Deathworlders, for Deathworlders and, for many years after they met and learned about Havenworlders, about Deathworlders.

Challenge #02452-F262: Tolerance Overload

Genders are like the twin towers; there was two of them, now it's a sensitive topic. -- Anon Guest

[AN: Oh boy, am I glad you're an Anon or I'd track you down and logically explain how this is so wrong on multiple levels]

There were rainbow flags everywhere. People wore their identities on their chests, on their faces, around their wrists and draped over their shoulders like a caped hero. Dave only knew what half of those colour combos meant, and

Challenge #02446-F256: Do No Harm

In her late teens, early 20's, she went into space to learn to be a medic. From the time she was a small child, she had wanted to be someone who saved lives. She was a Lucker with a twist. For though she never won at cards, dice, or at any game she played, when it came to the struggle between life and death, death would always lose. And she had vowed, no matter her patient be a friend or an enemy,

Challenge #02427-F237: The Tune Called Yakety Sax

[AN: So Steemit.com is having some shenanigans which prevent me from posting there. Rest assured that this tale will be up as soon as it can be managed, at which point this post will change to the default template. Thank you for your patience and understanding]

Explaining 'The Benny Hill Show' to future Culture classes. -- Anon Guest

Every entertainment is a product of its time and a product of its medium and a product of its culture. Nothing shows this

Challenge #02422-F232: Crit Happens

Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don't find out 'til too late that he's been playing with two queens all along. ~Terry Pratchett

Also known as being a DM. (Dungeon Master) -- Anon Guest

Imagine a game so complicated that even the experts have to look up the rules. It is not just played with dice, but also cards, charts, tables, books, miniatures, and a hell of a lot of imagination. There is only one person at the

Challenge #02421-F231: Organically Sourced Isotopes

Imagine the surprise across the Galactic Alliance when they discover that humans have more than a mild tolerance to small doses of radiation, and that some of our plants are (in large enough quantities) active enough to set off sensors designed to detect much more harmful materials...

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bananaequivalentdose -- Adam in Darwin

The stasis box arrived in successive layers of protective wrapping, depending on which port it had shipped through, and which species did

Challenge #02415-F225: Getting the Message

Depending what you listen to it can affect your mind and body drastically. example being that rush of adrenaline while listening to Ghost Ship of Cannibal Rats by Billy Talent and calm mind while Nocturne from String Quartet No. 2 plays in the background. -- Anon Guest

Shayde had either been picking up outdated slanguage or she was trying to say something without the correct words. She said, "Music is mood," out of nowhere. They had been enjoying a companionable silence on

Challenge #02394-F204: Achievement Accomplished

"Why do you always have a magnifying glass?"

"I like having dumb and/or ridiculous things with me, and a magnifying glass checks both boxes. Also, it's not ALWAYS a magnifying glass." -- Anon Guest

"What? So... it's a multitool?"

"Well, there is a set of incrementally smaller screwdrivers in the handles, but that's not the point. A magnifying glass is specifically useful in weird directions and I love it. It's a solar-powered firestarter, an analysis tool, a joke prop and a

Challenge #02387-F197: Very Strange Creatures

I always believed that humans were these unstoppable beasts, until I met one of their infants. -- Anon Guest

Elsewhere Station. Here there be Humans. Seryk watched hir step. Ze only wanted to hire one human for the exploratory mission and this was one of the Edge Territory stations where they were reputed to swarm. So far, Seryk had seen numerous Edge species, but few Humans.

Those who were present were busy at other occupations. Seryk searched for hours, but found few

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A 172-post collection

Challenge #02475-F285: Dismantling Babel

Challenge #02473-F283: Yo Ho, Foe No Mo'

Challenge #02471-F281: Double the Experience

Challenge #02470-F280: Fluidity

Challenge #02467-F277: Human Jae's Video Log

Challenge #02464-F274: No Ordinary Fool

Challenge #02453-F263: A General Warning

Challenge #02452-F262: Tolerance Overload

Challenge #02446-F256: Do No Harm

Challenge #02427-F237: The Tune Called Yakety Sax

Challenge #02422-F232: Crit Happens

Challenge #02421-F231: Organically Sourced Isotopes

Challenge #02415-F225: Getting the Message

Challenge #02394-F204: Achievement Accomplished

Challenge #02387-F197: Very Strange Creatures