Humans Are Weird

Challenge #02686-G129: Small Messy Disruptive Creatures

It goes about on all fours, eats kibble, and gets into the trash to chew on things. Is it a dog, or a human infant? The answer is yes. And in this instance, we're very glad it was the baby, because there was cocoa powder in the trash can, and she was chewing through garbage to get to it. -- Anon Guest

Human Diz was looking even more tired than normal, and they had been tired for almost a year, but this was more than the current average. Companion Thrys was aware that Human Diz had gained a cohabitator recently, and these levels of exhaustion were supposed to be normal, but certain facts had evaded Thrys' understanding. Such as the exact nature of the cohabitor.

Fact: There had been a monetary exchange involved in the acquisition of said cohabitor. This wasn't a guarantee of animal status because there were still civilisations that felt cogniscent trafficking was a decent source of income and this was in the Edge where such things were mostly legal.

Fact: The cohabitor was small and had peculiar sleeping hours. They also required Human Diz's constant attention as well as their mate, Human Lan's, for most hours of the day. This was also not a guarantee, as Humans started out very small and were attention-seeking as a survival trait.

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Challenge #02685-G128: Little, Yellow, Different

She was heavy-set, had a constant cough, but otherwise was very quiet. The human that signed aboard the science vessel was younger than they'd ever had before as an officer. The only reason it had been allowed was her parents had signed a statement saying they agreed to allow her to go and all tests indicated that she could handle the job. Botanical scientist. Her friends always called her "botany geek", to which she'd smile, laugh, and then cough. When the medics

Challenge #02676-G119: Hot, Brown, and Horrifying

There are many unspoken laws across the galaxy. Don’t provoke a calm man. Fear the wrath of a protective mother. Don’t take any of Human Girth's drinks. Ok maybe not that the last one but it only applies to one ship. -- Anon Guest

Welcome aboard the Poke And Run, do not accept beverages from the Ship's Human. You do not want to know why. Even though we know you'll say you do. The usual rules of space travel apply:

Challenge #02674-G117: Planet Pet-it

Whole planets dedicated to humans need to touch things. They range from your typical cat cafe walking with elephants, to even swimming with sharks. And that's just the animals from earth! Each plant has a different variety of species to accommodate any human, Making them a great alternative for humans who keep touching the unknown animals on equally unknown planets. -- Anon Guest

Humans look with their hands. This is a known, if confusing fact. Humans have reasonably reliable senses that use

Challenge #02666-G109: Perplexing Perambulation

"Necessity is the mother of invention... Boredom is the father." -- SilverRey

So many inventions happen because their inventor thinks that they are vital. Others occur because they will create a tactical advantage against an enemy. Some rare and interesting inventions happen because the creator had nothing better to do.

Case in point - weird vehicles.

People don't need a bicycle that walks on feet, nor do they need a chariot drawn by crab-like legs. They don't need a powered boat with

Challenge #02654-G097: A Surpassed Reminder

When we drink, we get drunk.

When we get drunk, we fall asleep.

When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.

When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.

So, let's all get drunk, and go to heaven! -- Anon Guest

This was a decorative plaque found in the ruins. Unremarkable, save for the fact that most of it was legible, and didn't necessitate reconstruction. There were thousands like it. Almost one in every ruined home. Just like the ones with

Challenge #02653-G096: Blandishments for the Bland

Anything else with CLARC?

(Sorry about the blast from the past. Slowly getting fully caught up.) -- SilverRey

[AN: Nothing to apologise for. I love that you love the old stuff enough to deliver some inspiration. Hopefully you're reading faster than a story a day ;) ]

Every fleet has its screw-ups, every force has its dead weight. They may also serve who stand and wait, but those who sit on their butts with a finger up an orifice are not doing anyone any

Challenge #02651-G094: Noise Worth Sleeping to

"I am sorry to bother you, but would you mind if I took a nap while you are here? You don't need to change what you are doing or anything. It is just to... loud... when I am by myself." -- SilverRey

Hejiq startled out of their work mentality to stare at the Ship's Human, Dem. They were wearing colourful insulation over their Ships' Skins known to Humans as a 'kigu', and this one was patterned to match the standard Skitty. Human

Challenge #02619-G062: Sizzlin'

The support snag, AKA sausage inna slice of bread. You find them everywhere here in Auz, raising money for good causes, local footy teams. Volunteers cooking sausages and buttering bread, and selling bulk buy soft drinks at retail prices. The backbone of the country. -- Knitnan

It was a N'Ozzie thing. Of course it was a N'Ozzie thing. It made minimal sense, therefore it had to come from N'Oz. The entire planet, except for one reasonably large and relatively idyllic[1] island,

Challenge #02617-G060: Bonding Through Irritation

The humans teach some havenworlders how to play an infamous board game known as monopoly. -- Anon Guest

Competition is innate in Humans. Without some form of competition in their lives or society, Humans tend to... wither. A society without competition goes retrograde. A Human without competition becomes bored. There are few forces in the universe more destructive than a bored Human.

Fortunately for Havenworlders, Humans tend to bring along entertainment. This may be some kind of survival instinct at work or

Challenge #02616-G059: Vital Education

A: Why is your baby so happy and well behaved? I've tried everything with mine!

Baby A: shriiieeeeek!!!

B: I just listen to them.

Baby B: happy cooing -- Anon Guest

Parenting classes did not exist, once. People were expected to pick up parenting from their own parents. This was not always the best model. Child psychology and psychology in general began with one simple step: listening. The instant people began to learn that their infants attempt communication from birth, is the

Challenge #02615-G058: Useless? Never Heard of It

those odd coins in the bottom of your pocket or bag. Putting them to good use. -- Anon Guest

As a member of the Loyal Order of Hitchhikers, it is prudent to clean out one's bags regularly. Especially the bags one uses for currency. As one makes one's way through several cultures and territories, one accumulates small change like a piece of sticky tape accumulates lint. This is most important as weight limits can prevent further travel and some coin weighs more

Challenge #02614-G057: Therapeutic Bonding Exercises

Humans quietly did not speak of it.

Speak of it and it makes it real, yeah?

One of the leftover prejudices from Pre-Shattering.

In reality, it wasn’t so bad. Young terrans unmeaningly latching on to inappropriate first beings when they were beginning their Adult Growth cycle. Receiving mixed and confused information due to age and species wasn’t so odd, with all the travelling.

You just had to know how to handle it so it went from "No, it’s okay!

Challenge #02604-G047: Worth the Ordeal

"Wow, you really did it!"

"I said I would, didn't I?"

"Well, yes..."

"Then why are you so surprised?"

"Oh, I figured something of a higher priority would come along and you'd do that, then you'd be busy and forget about it, so I just assumed it wouldn't happen for, like, three or four months so I wouldn't give you a reason to be mad at me for being frustrated that you didn't do it when you said you would!" -- Anon

Challenge #02602-G045: The Motivation Solution

What are you doing?

No, don't jump down here!

WHERE ARE YOUR PANTS??? -- Anon Guest

Here's the thing with having Humans on your ship. Sometimes they are young Humans and don't always know the rules of proper behaviour. It is difficult to know which Humans are capable and which are... less... capable until such time as they reveal their limits. Humans are a relatively unknown species and those taking the risks of their company on the Edge are more or less

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A 178-post collection

Challenge #02686-G129: Small Messy Disruptive Creatures

Challenge #02685-G128: Little, Yellow, Different

Challenge #02676-G119: Hot, Brown, and Horrifying

Challenge #02674-G117: Planet Pet-it

Challenge #02666-G109: Perplexing Perambulation

Challenge #02654-G097: A Surpassed Reminder

Challenge #02653-G096: Blandishments for the Bland

Challenge #02651-G094: Noise Worth Sleeping to

Challenge #02619-G062: Sizzlin'

Challenge #02617-G060: Bonding Through Irritation

Challenge #02616-G059: Vital Education

Challenge #02615-G058: Useless? Never Heard of It

Challenge #02614-G057: Therapeutic Bonding Exercises

Challenge #02604-G047: Worth the Ordeal

Challenge #02602-G045: The Motivation Solution