Humans Are Weird

Challenge #02653-G096: Blandishments for the Bland

Anything else with CLARC?

(Sorry about the blast from the past. Slowly getting fully caught up.) -- SilverRey

[AN: Nothing to apologise for. I love that you love the old stuff enough to deliver some inspiration. Hopefully you're reading faster than a story a day ;) ]

Every fleet has its screw-ups, every force has its dead weight. They may also serve who stand and wait, but those who sit on their butts with a finger up an orifice are not doing anyone any good. When those forces had the limits of a planet, the dead weight could be expelled from the service, and given directions to the way out with a not-so-fond farewell.

In space, it's another story. Forces cannot, for ethical reasons, give the dead weight a boot out of the airlock with a livesuit and all of their stuff. When funding is tied to the numbers of bodies in the force, even the butts at rest are useful in tipping a scale somewhere. Yet those same butts cannot be allowed near anything important. Therefore, they are sent to the area of least damage.

Allegedly welcome to Transit Station Eighty-Six. If you lived here, you'd be screwed by now. It's a make-work station where the crew are pretty much permitted to do whatever they like so long as they don't interfere with the automated systems. CLARC of course, is the exception to that rule.

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Challenge #02651-G094: Noise Worth Sleeping to

"I am sorry to bother you, but would you mind if I took a nap while you are here? You don't need to change what you are doing or anything. It is just to... loud... when I am by myself." -- SilverRey

Hejiq startled out of their work mentality to stare at the Ship's Human, Dem. They were wearing colourful insulation over their Ships' Skins known to Humans as a 'kigu', and this one was patterned to match the standard Skitty. Human

Challenge #02619-G062: Sizzlin'

The support snag, AKA sausage inna slice of bread. You find them everywhere here in Auz, raising money for good causes, local footy teams. Volunteers cooking sausages and buttering bread, and selling bulk buy soft drinks at retail prices. The backbone of the country. -- Knitnan

It was a N'Ozzie thing. Of course it was a N'Ozzie thing. It made minimal sense, therefore it had to come from N'Oz. The entire planet, except for one reasonably large and relatively idyllic[1] island,

Challenge #02617-G060: Bonding Through Irritation

The humans teach some havenworlders how to play an infamous board game known as monopoly. -- Anon Guest

Competition is innate in Humans. Without some form of competition in their lives or society, Humans tend to... wither. A society without competition goes retrograde. A Human without competition becomes bored. There are few forces in the universe more destructive than a bored Human.

Fortunately for Havenworlders, Humans tend to bring along entertainment. This may be some kind of survival instinct at work or

Challenge #02616-G059: Vital Education

A: Why is your baby so happy and well behaved? I've tried everything with mine!

Baby A: shriiieeeeek!!!

B: I just listen to them.

Baby B: happy cooing -- Anon Guest

Parenting classes did not exist, once. People were expected to pick up parenting from their own parents. This was not always the best model. Child psychology and psychology in general began with one simple step: listening. The instant people began to learn that their infants attempt communication from birth, is the

Challenge #02615-G058: Useless? Never Heard of It

those odd coins in the bottom of your pocket or bag. Putting them to good use. -- Anon Guest

As a member of the Loyal Order of Hitchhikers, it is prudent to clean out one's bags regularly. Especially the bags one uses for currency. As one makes one's way through several cultures and territories, one accumulates small change like a piece of sticky tape accumulates lint. This is most important as weight limits can prevent further travel and some coin weighs more

Challenge #02614-G057: Therapeutic Bonding Exercises

Humans quietly did not speak of it.

Speak of it and it makes it real, yeah?

One of the leftover prejudices from Pre-Shattering.

In reality, it wasn’t so bad. Young terrans unmeaningly latching on to inappropriate first beings when they were beginning their Adult Growth cycle. Receiving mixed and confused information due to age and species wasn’t so odd, with all the travelling.

You just had to know how to handle it so it went from "No, it’s okay!

Challenge #02604-G047: Worth the Ordeal

"Wow, you really did it!"

"I said I would, didn't I?"

"Well, yes..."

"Then why are you so surprised?"

"Oh, I figured something of a higher priority would come along and you'd do that, then you'd be busy and forget about it, so I just assumed it wouldn't happen for, like, three or four months so I wouldn't give you a reason to be mad at me for being frustrated that you didn't do it when you said you would!" -- Anon

Challenge #02602-G045: The Motivation Solution

What are you doing?

No, don't jump down here!

WHERE ARE YOUR PANTS??? -- Anon Guest

Here's the thing with having Humans on your ship. Sometimes they are young Humans and don't always know the rules of proper behaviour. It is difficult to know which Humans are capable and which are... less... capable until such time as they reveal their limits. Humans are a relatively unknown species and those taking the risks of their company on the Edge are more or less

Challenge #02579-G022: What the Feces?

You’re shit is an insult, you’re the shit is a complement. You’re not shit is a reassurance, and fuck this shit is not related to the previous phrases. -- Anon Guest

Humans don't have to be confusing, but they will frequently do it anyway. Their idioms, axioms, and expressions are many, varied, and assumed to be understood by everyone. This can hold true for some Human words, as well. Enormous papers have been written on the versatility of some

Challenge #02574-G017: Art Supplies of Mass Destruction

A havenworlder has a human as a godparent and they love to teach there godchild stuff like survival tips, human pop culture and other things the child's parents would rather them not know. -- Cheshire

Having a godparent, goodparent, or other form of honorary family member is such a Deathworlder concept. Grown Deathworlders are aware of the fragile nature of mortality and have culturally instituted the concept of spare parental figures. This comes in handy for Havenworlders who are, culturally speaking, just

Challenge #02556-G001: Tearful Appreciation

"Are you alright?" The same question they got lots of times when tears would fall down their cheeks. Of course, they understood the Galactics were not used to seeing a human crying when nothing was wrong, obviously. They were sitting with their friends watching a video that showed incredible sunrises and sunsets from various worlds with a background for these wonders being the sound of an orchestra increasing the richness of the experience. And, as always, they wiped their cheeks and said

Challenge #02555-F365: It's So Relaxing

Oh, I can't really handle all the excitement and action in FPS, especially the PVP ones. I much prefer simulation games, like Frost Punk! You build your little town, and manage resources, and try not to let all your people freeze to death or starve or something. Nice, relaxing fun. -- Anon Guest

Humans love to play. Their play takes every form you could imagine and some that seem incredibly unlikely. Some play involves flinging themselves physically at obstacles, off obstacles, or

Challenge #02543-F353: Good Kitty

A nonhuman deathworlder learning about major depressive disorder and suicidal ideation from a human so used to suffering from those that they treat the loss of their medication as an inconvenience, and apologize to the poor sap they got stranded with while they ask them to keep an eye out for self destructive behaviors.

"So, I've only got a few days worth of my meds, and it'll be at least a couple of weeks before we get rescued. Mind keeping an eye

Challenge #02540-F350: Wandering Minds

On earth in various places, there are buskers. People who will put down a hat, box, bowl, or other container and then will play music, sing, or otherwise entertain in the hope of donations. Then there are the flash mobs. Large groups of individuals who will coordinate a time where they will come together. They will mill about in a crowd and then, at a predesignated time, one individual will throw off their jacket or other covering and, in costume, begin to

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A 172-post collection

Challenge #02653-G096: Blandishments for the Bland

Challenge #02651-G094: Noise Worth Sleeping to

Challenge #02619-G062: Sizzlin'

Challenge #02617-G060: Bonding Through Irritation

Challenge #02616-G059: Vital Education

Challenge #02615-G058: Useless? Never Heard of It

Challenge #02614-G057: Therapeutic Bonding Exercises

Challenge #02604-G047: Worth the Ordeal

Challenge #02602-G045: The Motivation Solution

Challenge #02579-G022: What the Feces?

Challenge #02574-G017: Art Supplies of Mass Destruction

Challenge #02556-G001: Tearful Appreciation

Challenge #02555-F365: It's So Relaxing

Challenge #02543-F353: Good Kitty

Challenge #02540-F350: Wandering Minds