Humans Are Space Orcs

Challenge #02687-G130: In Memory of-- Oh Wait

Human: What's everybody so upset about?

Crew: You're here? But you told the Last Lie!

Human: Don't you know me by now? I really hate lying. -- Anon Guest

"Wait," said Human Jef. "Are you mad that I'm alive?"

This quickly turned the mood, but not by much. "Of course not," said Companion Ryl. "We were mourning your loss when you turned up at your own memorial."

"And you were saying such nice things about me until you said, Oh flakking hell, there she is like a stray Powers-damned cat. I'm starting to think you don't like me."

Companion Ryl took a deep breath. "We're not mad at you," ze began. "We're mad that we spent so much emotional energy on a falsehood."

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Challenge #02684-G127: Winner Winner?

I don't know if this even a thing in other parts of Earth, but in my country very popular thing is eating cartilage from chicken legs just like every other part of meat. Foreigners are saying that this sound is the most disturbing one they ever heard. It's like very loud cracking bone.

What if herbivore heard this sound and automatically just started to look for predator in absolute terror? -- Anon Guest

[AN: Oh holy freaking Powers That Be, my daughter

Challenge #02680-G123: Small, Cute, and Terrifying

Doctor: Human, you need to take it easy. Rest. Don't do anything strenuous for the next week.

Human: Alright, I'll stay at home and watch the kids.

Doctor: From what I know of human young, that is strenuous. -- Escla

[AN: Pffffft...]

The Humans had a saying for everything. Some have been adjusted slightly to be more inclusive, but the relevant one in this time and space was, No being is an island. Perhaps, with an added dash of, It takes a

Challenge #02672-G115: Back From the Deepest Well

It had been years since ze had been seen last, though not nearly as long as had been estimated, wagered or theorised. When a derelict, cobbled together ship limped into The Blackstump research station. it had seemed to come from come from beyond what was known and explored space, and from the entirely the wrong direction from which the occupant was last seen.

The Return of Andi the Undying

https://steemit.com/fiction/@internutter/challenge-02156-e327-they-ll-be-back -- Adam in Darwin

The ship was

Challenge #02670-G113: Inspired Desperation? Entertainment!

H: Did you know that you can use Duct Tape to patch your space space suit a pinch?

A: I believe you are trying to deceive me. To make me feel better about the situation you have got us into.

H: Aww. Don't be like that. It works, I promise, I've done it before.

A: That does not surprise me. -- Anon Guest

"We only have soft atmospheric livesuits. They're not rated for micrometeor impact."

"No worries," cheered Human Adam. "I've got

Challenge #02669-G112: The Immortal Master

Some humans fight with blades, those who live on worlds that allow it, use firearms. Or for those aboard stations and ships, crossbows. Me? I refuse to use any of that. My body is my weapon. Sure I carry a utility knife, don't most of us? But it's never been used to draw blood. With a single blow I can knock a man down, with a well-placed kick I can knock over a being the size of a tree. My hand, small

Challenge #02661-G104: Sorry to Cause a Fuss

Human to Alien: Could you please have the head of engineering come here? Don't worry, nothing is wrong. I just... saw a way to improve this! I am holding it so I don't lose track on the spot I want to talk to them about. Please hurry... I don't want to "forget" what I want to tell them.

Human to Engineer: So... Please keep this quiet. I don't want to cause a panic and make this worse... But, if I let go

Challenge #02656-G099: Holding On

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gCQyKJr6pJA Aliens often forget the Power we can have, when we WANT to Hang on to something. -- Anon Guest

[AN: Holy shit, that's terrifying. Offensensitivity warning for fear of heights and physical injury]

"There's only enough capacity in the lifeboat for seven. How do you plan on coming with us?"

The Ships' Human, having fought to the last enemy, just grinned. "Outside," said Human Karth. "I can hang on for long enough. Don't worry about

Challenge #02631-G074: Desperate Measures

You’re not wrong but I don’t want you to be right -- Anon Guest

Phryx stared at her Human companion. "Did you mean that to be confusing as it sounds, or are you having one of your verbal shortcuts again?" Verbal shortcuts were always a problem with Humans, especially on the Edge. They had ways of expressing themselves that were difficult to translate at best and needed a seminar to understand at worst.

"Oh. Right. Whoops. Okay. Brief version: Yes,

Challenge #02630-G073: A Questionable Survival Mechanism

As the Galactic, not a deathworlder, but not a delicate havenworlder either, looked down at the infant human, they had to wonder...

"How does something so small and delicate grow into something so dangerous?"

The infant, seemingly in answer, smiled, then reached up and gently hugged the sentient holding it. Before releasing a truly noxious fart. -- Anon Guest

Every species not equal to a Deathworlder tends to look a lot like a Havenworlder to the Deathworlder in question. Some Deathworlders are

Challenge #02628-G071: The Last Lie

https://steemit.com/fiction/@internutter/challenge-02005-e181-one-line-to-cross

https://steemit.com/fiction/@internutter/challenge-02156-e327-they-ll-be-back

https://steemit.com/fiction/@internutter/challenge-02524-f334-an-appeal

The "Last Lie" is a recurring trend and well-known trait in the Amalgam universe. Yet, I haven't yet read a story where the "Last Lie" has come true. It seems that our human protagonists always manage to cheat death.

That being said, I think it would be interesting to see a (or a group of) Havenworlder(s) discovering what the Last Lie is the

Challenge #02627-G070: When You Assume...

Considering the cultural difference between western people and eastern people, how would aliens react to someone from Asia?

Asian people tend to be less touchy-feely, more reserved and quiet than someone from America for example.

How would aliens react when the shy-looking, timid Japanese girl, who joined their ship as a chef, turns out to be a master of martial arts and make dinner from the would-be pirates because they belittled her? Or how loud she gets when she's properly drunk... --

Challenge #02610-G053: Fun Facts About Amity!

Oh my Glod I love your book, 'The Amity Incident'! I must have read it n'th hundred times! Every time I read it, I discover something new! I Love It! I would like to know if there is anything else you can tell us about the planet Amity or Enmity? What about the different types of human species are out there? Like the Melil? What other things flipped the Numidid minds, besides the metal boats and the lack of eggs? Lol! I

Challenge #02608-G051: A Real Sweetheart

They had been fighting anxiety their entire life. While they did their best to handle it, there were times when, even with medication, they were overwhelmed. When they got their support animal, it was a bit of a learning curve, after all people expects skitties or dogs, not winged reptiles. They wore a special pair of glasses that, when their life-signs showed anxiety levels rising to the point where medication would not assist, and there were no dangers in the area, the

Challenge #02605-G048: Atomic Element Number Six

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=n0wvDwSnzcw

Can you Please write a Humans-Are-Space-Orcs Story about Humans commonly wasting Resources (like in the Video) on the Production of Things, Goods... that Aliens can do cheap/better/with less effort? (Like Coalpower/Atomicenergy...)

Thanks in Advance -- Mike

Deathworlders live in harsh conditions that should eliminate most life. This is known. Therefore, one might expect that Deathworlders would be frugal with their resource expenditure. One would be wrong. Most of them evolve with short

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A 307-post collection

Challenge #02687-G130: In Memory of-- Oh Wait

Challenge #02684-G127: Winner Winner?

Challenge #02680-G123: Small, Cute, and Terrifying

Challenge #02672-G115: Back From the Deepest Well

Challenge #02670-G113: Inspired Desperation? Entertainment!

Challenge #02669-G112: The Immortal Master

Challenge #02661-G104: Sorry to Cause a Fuss

Challenge #02656-G099: Holding On

Challenge #02631-G074: Desperate Measures

Challenge #02630-G073: A Questionable Survival Mechanism

Challenge #02628-G071: The Last Lie

Challenge #02627-G070: When You Assume...

Challenge #02610-G053: Fun Facts About Amity!

Challenge #02608-G051: A Real Sweetheart

Challenge #02605-G048: Atomic Element Number Six