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Humans are Insane

A 189-post collection

Challenge #01796-D335: Freedom of Choice

Humans' ability to fight on a microscopic level is widely known throughout the Galactic Alliance. They call it their “Immune System.” But it comes as a shock to their allies that the humans readily seek out microscopic organisms to strengthen their Immune Systems. Probiotics. Apparently de-activated viruses known to be deadly. -- Anon Guest

Humans are toxic. Their skin contains microbiota that many Havenworlders find to be deadly. Some of their allegedly harmless skin diseases have become the accidental ruin of worlds. Thus leading to the rule of: Never leave your livesuit until you're certain everyone is going to live.

We all know the story of the human who spat in a sterile environment and caused a mass disaster.

But what alarmed Galactics all over again was the Human process of Vaccination.

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Challenge #01795-D334: From the Wikipedia Galactica

Humans have been in space for awhile. No-one’s keeping track of the “breeding program” but a new problem has been discovered: human offspring mid-way to maturity. The most dangerous humans of them all. -- Anon Guest

It seemed impossible. There was a stage in human development when the entire species had the maximum amount of physical condition and the minimum amount of foresight and discrimination. And worse, they were often thrust into adult classification whilst also at that stage.

Many species

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Challenge #01787-D326: Strange Customs

It’s funny that we humans (or at least I) have this habit of commanding or coaxing inanimate objects when trying to move them. [E.g. tugs on stuck cable Me: C’mon, get over here...”] -- TheDragonsFlame

Toveth was a shopkeeper on the Edge Territories, and got to see a lot more of the Deathworlders that inhabited the outskirts of civilised space. The humans were the most confusing. As Deathworlders, they ranged from anywhere between large and intimidating to small and

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Challenge #01779-D318: Pack Bonding in all the Wrong Places

Despite the fact that the Numidids are… well, fictional, I have quite a fondness for the little guys. It’s funny how our ‘pack-bonding instinct’ can go pretty much anywhere. -- TheDragonsFlame

There was a shrine set up in the Avenue of Remembrance. For a fictional character. Fanart adorned it, and no two agreed on what the character looked like. The little altar also spilled over with flowers, soft toys, and votary candles. Someone hung a banner that read, Always an asshole.

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Challenge #01718-D257: Where Angels Fear

[Name] is a professional adventurer/planet saver with extremely acute hearing. The other speaker is their much calmer and more logical, though not necessarily smarter, best friend)

[Name] buried the pillow over their head and groaned.

“I can’t tell if those are gunshots or fireworks,” they whined.

“Do not be silly, [Name]. Fireworks are illegal on this planet.” -- RecklessPrudence

There's a reason why Iman Goodboy spends most of her time in her livesuit. She could control how much of the

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Challenge #01715-D254: Beautiful Downtown Babel

It was gridlocked regularly, so they added another lane. Then more cars and trucks came. -- Knitnan

Once, there was a city. It was by a natural port, so it grew with the aim of trade in mind. The lanes and byways were made by horses and the places where people thought it would be convenient to have a building. Cars came, and things changed. Narrow little lanes that could afford a horse became places to build. Wide lanes became wider. Traffic

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Challenge #01713-D252: A Lesson For All

"Bellringer Sale! 80% off". Then the bell began to ring. -- Anon Guest

The luckless staffmember ringing the bell was on a stone plinth that served most of its time as a display area that could also be sat upon if a shopper was desperate enough. The shoppers were not desperate for a seat, right now. What they were desperate for was a bargain.

A rolling sea of humanity, flooding the area. A surge made of pure greed.

There were no staff

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Challenge #01709-D248: Sticky Situation

"Crazy glue one hundred and one uses. Also known as Super Glue." -- Anon Guest

People were urgently patching holes after the micrometeor impacts. Smaller, slow-leaking holes were already patched with the humans' ever-present gum, albeit temporarily. For larger holes, they were grabbing whatever could fit and welding, bolting, and fastening as fast as they could.

Only the ships' human was using a tiny little tube before just... adding things.

Captain Farz had to admit the human was working quickly, but... what

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Challenge #01704-D243: Collateral Self-sacrifice

Humans as the S&R species/Space!Rescue Dogs (I know you've seen the first part dozens of times, but this is a different chain of posts, that goes a different way) -- RecklessPrudence

Everyone knows that humans are indomitable. Against level five or above Deathworlders[1], they are dogged and determined. Against disaster, they have a thousand ways to triumph. Even the most mundane of their species has exhibited what they call hysterical strength in times of ultimate stress.

But

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Challenge #01702-D241: Persistent Belief

Why would you... even need to hoax a moon.

Like, if you had that ability. Why would you then do it. -- RecklessPrudence

Of all the realms of human insanity, the Flat Earth Society genuinely takes every cake. The lengths to which they would go to maintain an obviously disprovable belief are beyond Galactic credulity.

Frax had the misfortune to be seated next to a member of them on the way to Whistlestop Station. And this human would not be quiet about

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Challenge #01689-D228: Unfortunate Blindness of Today

Nitpicking the small faults and details and eroding the Grand Design. -- Anon Guest

There was no doubt that it was beautiful. Sweeping curves and soaring arches. Every surface in the simulated model glittered with solar panels. Plants hung from gardens on every floor. Wind turbines adorned the rooftops.

"Ladies, Gentlemen, and anyone I missed," announced the designer, "I give you the residence structure of tomorrow. We can build this with extant technology, and improve the city environment one building at a

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Challenge #01680-D219: Rockit Launch 'n' BBQ

Actual thing said over the ruins of a test engine that had found a new fuel mix too spicy for it: "Whall, rocket fuel is kinda like a chain saw. If it warn't dangerous, it wouldn't be very useful." -- RecklessPrudence

People make assumptions. That much was natural. You see the way someone dresses. You hear the way they speak. You assume things about the rest of them. Most of those things are wrong. Katie Walker had learned this and used it

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Challenge #01677-D216: Hobby Fallout

[Title: Obstacle Course] Some are carefully planned to stretch our physical strength. Some just happen. -- Knitnan

Storm season on Hitizzy was never fun. Especially when the storms hit both in space and on the surface of the planet. It was said that Hitizzy was a place everyone got into, once in a while, but the weather rarely got the people in Hitizzy, into a tizzy. Except for this one time.

Everyone knew that attempts at weather control always ended badly, so

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Challenge #01672-D211: Friendly Welcome

"Oh, and if you have to ask yourself, is [Person] fucking with me? The answer is always yes,” he says, and ahead of them [Person] cackles and gives a little fistpump in the air. -- RecklessPrudence

Most humans, when elevated to the status of Ambassador, acquire an air of caution. A weight to their words as if they know that they hold the fate of their homeworld in their hands. Almost all of them approach becoming an Ambassador as cautiously as they

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Challenge #01637-D176: The Last Beauty Contest

Alien species may not have the same standards of "Beauty" as us humans. Beauty contest for alien species . Maybe the Alien equivalent of the types who watch wet T shirt contests? -- Knitnan

Of all the wide and varied species in the known universe, only Humans are insane enough to judge each other based strictly on a narrow and nigh-unachievable set of aesthetics, and give people prizes for adhering to them. This has baffled the Greater Galactic Alliance, especially when some human

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