Amalgam Universe

Challenge #02724-G167: There Goes Mischief

Ze was confident in zer ability to handle this. Ze was a level three deathworlder who worked with dangerous animals for a living! Watching a human toddler for an afternoon and evening would be no problem.

Of course, ze had made an elementary mistake...ze had failed to realize that just because the child still spoke Scribble and could only walk at a slow, bobbling shuffle on two legs didn't stop them from booking it on all fours, or climbing the furniture. And this particular toddler was fond of hiding, and then providing jump scares to nearby adult caretakers. -- Anon Guest

Human Lew had apparently graduated to 'toddler'. This, according to Cless' inspection, meant that the infant Human was barely capable of shuffling along on two feet, with frequent stops to imbalance themself and sit heavily on the floor.

"Ai! Issa buk," proclaimed Human Lew.

"This is Companion Cless," said Human Lew's parental, Human Vai. "Ze is not a chicken."

Human Lew kept making chicken noises.

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Challenge #02723-G166: Just Add Zombies

This prompt issues to an earlier story from two years ago. https://steemit.com/fiction/@internutter/challenge-01928-e104-tag-you-re-undead. One that gave me a wicked little grin, though I did have to search a bit to find it again.

Zombie tag. That was a game, and an experiment, that was both famous and infamous. Since its inception a few years ago, it had become a wildly popular thing that became a new sport. How long could teams last against the "zombies"? Rules were drawn

Challenge #02721-G164: Hail Poetry!

The sign said "Old Terran style poetry for sale! Custom sonnets, written for you about what you love, in GalStand! Please fill out form and provide one Hour; finished poem will be sent to you within the next ten days. 50% discount for JOATs." The human seated at the table the sign hung from had a large stack of blank forms, a couple of completed forms, several one Hour notes, a notebook, and what looked like several kinds of dictionary. They were

Challenge #02720-G163: A Short Sharp Lesson

Have you even seen humans stomping their feet while chanting the same thing all at once? It’s sometimes hard to believe they’re not a hive mind https://youtu.be/PmILOL55xP0 -- Anon Guest

[AN: Video linked contains swearwords and is a war scene]

They said the Human colonists were sessile. They were weak and vulnerable. Look at them, not a single weapon in their entire set of settlements. They were fat and lazy. Allegedly. I learned, just as many of

Challenge #02718-G161: One Cozy Afternoon in a Test Colony Complex

They'd been surveying the planet for several months now, the haven-worlders and their human friends. The planet was more than sufficient for colonization, that seemed to be sure, but they wanted to see how the changing of the seasons played out in full. Sitting within the large shelter base they'd set up, the humans feeding more wood into the fireplace they'd absolutely insisted on building into the design of the base, the captain had an odd feeling of peace as they relaxed

Challenge #02716-G159: An Oldie But a Goodie

The ship is being raided by pirates, you and the human locked yourselves in the storage bay. The human is applying some liquid on their skin, asking “could you help me put on the shield generator?” You assisted them asking what they trying to do. “I’m gonna do a old scare tactic” while talking they snap their fingers and flames begin to cover their arms -- Anon Guest

Humans are insane. Many people acknowledge this on an intellectual level as most

Challenge #02714-G157: The Extra Option

Humans love stories. Humans also love adventure, and choice, and danger. Thus was born the "choose your own adventure" style of story. A small group of level 5 havenworlders, in an attempt to improve their genetics, undertake reading one of these stories, with the goal to "survive" to the end of the book. They quickly discover that survival alone does not always a "good" ending make. -- Anon Guest

Level Five Havenworlders should not exist. Just as Level Five Deathworlders should not

Challenge #02713-G156: Pax Origins

A shockingly smart and devastatingly cruel crew track, hunt, raid, and kill the biggest threats to peaceful ships. -- LatinoThor

They called themselves Dragons, for the ancient tradition marking hazardous seas with, Here There Be Dragons. Their territory was astonishingly vast for what encounter logs suggested was one ship. The last records in the surviving black boxes stated that one ship was seen, but that didn't mean that just one ship was there.

Authorities were slower to act about the attacks, since

Challenge #02712-G155: But I Want It

Everyone's heard of the Terrible Twos. Well, everyone who's familiar with raising human infants. A piece of information that's been surprisingly slow to make its way around, though, is that those years are only so terrible because the little ones have wants and needs and thoughts that they don't know how to communicate; a combination of not being exposed to the words for what they feel and having tongues too big for their mouths, making it near impossible to articulate the words

Challenge #02711-G154: Helping Companions

An instructor greets his new students in the class known as "Know Your Human" A class meant to prepare various individuals for the maddeningly wonderful work known as being a human's companion.

It is well known that humans are insane, dangerous, and violent. And yet, they are also the most gentle, kind, thoughtful, and soothing species in the galaxy. You will find they are wild, yet tame, they are beyond stupid, yet terrifyingly brilliant, they brought their furry headaches known as cats,

Challenge #02710-G153: Paradox Wreck

As a warning for any future scientist: Do not hook up a warp-drive engine to a gravity-generator. you will create a gravity cannon that will obliterate 1/3 of a class zegalbond warship, but also lose 1/3 of you blood without any wounds. -- Anon Guest

They called it 'warp drive' in flagrant violation of copyright at the time of the wreck's discovery. What it did was create a temporary 'soft spot' between real space and the parallel dimensional brane known

Challenge #02709-G152: Fixes Any Problem

A: "Just how many things do you humans make out of that stuff?"

H: Pulling yet another roll of the silvery duct tape from his bag. "Oh, quite a fair few. Wallets, flowers, clothing, water bags, plates, bowls, shoes, weapons, you name it. Oop, hold the bow still, if we're going to get back to the space port, I need to finish this boat and then make the thing's sail."

A: "You can't be serious, we're really going to be going all

Challenge #02708-G151: Bug of Contention

The two humans in this ship are really close. They will do nearly anything to save the other. On the other claw, they destroyed the training room arguing about whether a certain earth insect is a lighting bug or firefly. -- Anon Guest

The two Ships' Humans were out of breath, bruising, and one of them had a dark reddish-brown ichor leaking from their nose. They were also kept well out of each other's grip by the presence of Companion Jorx directly

Challenge #02707-G150: Rescue From Vulnerability

Some level four, and level five, havenworlders know their species is quite fragile. They also know that, in order to survive, to thrive, in this harsh universe, they need to grow stronger. With that in mind, and speaking to other havenworlders that were of higher levels, they all agreed training was in order. They hire a team of humans to help them learn to grow stronger. So, when they have their children, their children will be born stronger. The plan was for

Challenge #02706-G149: Terrifying Titans

Crabs are a universal constant. So much so that they are used in first contact. Earth is strange for the amount of crab types that we have. Keep them away from the Japanese spider crab though. The first alien to see one said it was the equivalent of an eldritch monstrosity. -- CyberStrikeBeast

[AN: go to your favourite search engine and look up "Christmas Island crab migration," and then "Coconut crab". Sweet dreams :D ]

Welcome to Earth. We have weird crustaceans. Honestly,

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A 2280-post collection

Challenge #02724-G167: There Goes Mischief

Challenge #02723-G166: Just Add Zombies

Challenge #02721-G164: Hail Poetry!

Challenge #02720-G163: A Short Sharp Lesson

Challenge #02718-G161: One Cozy Afternoon in a Test Colony Complex

Challenge #02716-G159: An Oldie But a Goodie

Challenge #02714-G157: The Extra Option

Challenge #02713-G156: Pax Origins

Challenge #02712-G155: But I Want It

Challenge #02711-G154: Helping Companions

Challenge #02710-G153: Paradox Wreck

Challenge #02709-G152: Fixes Any Problem

Challenge #02708-G151: Bug of Contention

Challenge #02707-G150: Rescue From Vulnerability

Challenge #02706-G149: Terrifying Titans