Amalgam Universe

A 2338-post collection

Challenge #00742 - B011: You Stole What?

To paraphrase Die Hard:

“Now I have a Death Star. Ho Ho Ho.”

“This is your claim. A dwarf planet in a Sargasso. Big whoop.”

“It’s not a dwarf planet,” said Lenn Ybalius. She was busy watching her controls and making certain she piloted her way in on certain vectors.

“Oh, you hijacked a moon,” singsonged Prella. She had a low opinion of her business partner. “That’s above your usual standards. I’m impressed.”

“That’s no moon,” cooed Lenn, and pressed a remote.

The doors opened, shedding a light cloud of dust and revealing a fully operational battle station within.

“You’re kidding me,” said Prella.

“You know that Long Haul wormhole that nobody’s ever been all the way down?”

“…yeah…”

“I’m nobody.” Lenn grinned. “That thing was on the other end of it and I managed to pilot it all the way over to my already-claimed Sargasso.”

The bay was large enough to fit more than just their little vessel. Heck, there were some stations out there that were smaller than this drydock bay.

“It was working when I found it. Hell of a power system. Plasma reactors and all still going after who knows how long. All I had to do was install some atmosphere and a food system and boom. Home sweet home. And all the space you could need. Hell, I even put a safety grill over that one vent that’s like an achilles’ heel to the whole place.”

“Achilles heel,” Prella repeated. “An area of critical vulnerability. You… salvaged the entire thing?”

“Yeah, the weapons system needed like five hundred people to operate it, so I just pulled that thing to pieces for the salvage value. Didn’t need it anyway. Nobody knows it’s here except us.” Lenn smiled as she opened the doors to her vessel. “Merry christmas.”

“There’d be… no limits. We could have all the children we want.”

“And decorate how we want. And the scrounge from the Sargasso is literally pulled towards our doors. Life of luxury, babe. Just like I promised.”

Prella was speechless, wandering around the pristine halls in a daze. “I take back every single mean thing I ever said about you.”

“I knew you didn’t mean it. Come on. I’ll show you the executive suite. Aka our rooms.”

[Muse food remaining: 10. Submit a prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories!]

Challenge #00741 - B010: Not Quite MST3K

“Guys! Guys! I have a loaded machine pistol in my hand and I have no idea what I’m doing!”

Shayde giggled. “Awright. That one had a point. The goal is tae make fun of the movie, not the common hollywood tropes, ye ken.”

“It’s still fun,” argued a SPOEn who called herself Molly Ringwald.

“Aye, it is tha’.” She pointed at the screen. “BOOM! Take a shot!” She

Read more »

Challenge #00739 - B008: Havenworlders V Humans

Hypothetically, a universe where keratin (our hair and fingernails) is a rare and valuable resource. Accounting for the sugar walls from a previous story it would potentially be considered a strong, nonreactive material.

Seeing humans with it on must be like watching someone walk around with steel-tipped claws and spun-titanium jewellery. Yeah it’s a small fortune but a) the person it’s attached to must be scary as all get-out and b) it’s practically a weapon in its own

Read more »

Challenge #00737 - B006: Fighting Words

“Veni Ad Me Frat”, Latin for “Come At Me, Bro”.

Shayde sighed as Rael caught her out again. “No? How about ‘non me tracagnum’?”

“Don’t beat me,” said Rael. “How about you stop pulling your Hackmeyer strategies, lay off the BS, and talk like a scientist to these people?”

“It’s hard,” Shayde whined. “I’m too used tae no’ being listened

Read more »

Challenge #00736 - B005: Do We Need Them?

A friend and I, up in tropical Queensland on holiday - land of my birth. We are being buzzed by flies large enough to need Air Traffic Control, and slowly being drained of blood by the clouds of mozzies. The following conversation does not reflect any of my actual views. It was borne of frustration and humour.

Me: -slap- Hey, do we need flies for anything? Like, do they perform a vital role in the ecosystem or something?
Friend (amused): Yeah, I

Read more »

T'reka stood, arms akimbo and wing-feathers out, as the supervising technician made certain all of her straps were on correctly and...

T'reka stood, arms akimbo and wing-feathers out, as the supervising technician made certain all of her straps were on correctly and snugly.

“Remember, DO NOT FLAP,” the technician reminded her above the engine noise of the Flight Machine. “This pack has its own glider-wings, and any flapping on your part will disrupt the steering mechanisms and put you in the ocean!”

“Understood!” T'reka chirped.

“We’re going to drop you in five.”

Four.

Read more »

Did you know? You can read all about one innocent explorer’s close encounter with these dangerous creatures in The Amity...

Did you know? You can read all about one innocent explorer’s close encounter with these dangerous creatures in The Amity Incident!

Buy this book! Your survival depends on it!

READ! The thrilling tale of T'reka the Inquisitive!

THRILL! At the baffling and bizarre habits of humans!

FUND! This impoverished author so ze can afford to write more thrilling adventures!

Read more »

Challenge #00716 - A351: As the Station Turns

Aliens of all kind discover Soap Operas, have fun with the adaptations and scripts and of course the fans. — knitnan

Serialised drama is nothing new. The fact that it invaded the known universe before the humans made themselves known is the only thing from stopping the accusing finger pointing at those dangerous primates. And there is a legend that some baffling ancient alien went around the universe and introduced infant species to the concept. But some people will say anything…

Even the

Read more »

Challenge #00714 - A349: One Thing in Common

Video Prompt!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4dT8FJ2GE0

6 people singing an Icelandic hymn in a German train station with excellent acoustics.

If there was one phrase Rael learned to dread, it was any variation on, “Let me get my axe,” from Ambassador Shayde. On one hand, it meant something historical was going to happen. On the other hand, it meant that she would gather crowds.

And there was always at least one who thought he was part of

Read more »

Available for pre-order on Smashwords! T'reka sighed as she put her books in order and reluctantly disposed of her former, almost-done...

Available for pre-order on Smashwords!

T'reka sighed as she put her books in order and reluctantly disposed of her former, almost-done presentations.

There would be no room for half-finished and never-to-be-finished projects on her expedition. But it still felt like she was tearing her own gizzard out.

She’d worked hard on each and every one of them… and she would never be allowed to complete them. As far as the Flock was concerned, all her contributions amounted to replicated data

Read more »

NOW AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER! “Ah,” he said. And, “Hm.” Shuffle shuffle shuffle. “Camouflaged base camp....

NOW AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER!

“Ah,” he said. And, “Hm.” Shuffle shuffle shuffle. “Camouflaged base camp. Camouflaged hide. Camouflaged clothing?”

“All the better to avoid any predators, should they be present,” she sang.

“Mrrmmph…” shuffle shuffle. “Hu'lu'a is sending most of this nonsense anyway. For science,” pronounced, something hated I must tolerate for the greater good. “We will deploy the basics and send clean food by drone. You will record

Read more »