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Amalgam Universe

A 2291-post collection

Challenge #01137-C040: Special Education

The routine butchering of names by various species that have trouble with minor inflections in other languages which inevitably results in silly nicknames - T'reka > Trekker, for instance, or to borrow from another author, Usze > Uzi and N'tho > Nitro -- Gallifreya

Names are important. Across the Gallactic Alliance, all cogniscent beings had a string of sounds or signals that meant 'this is me'. And some... could get quite picky about it.

"Ra-el," said Rael.

"Rail," said the human.

"Ra-el," said Rael.

"Ray L?"

"Ra-el..." he could go on doing this all day, if he had to. And he would certainly make sure that the human would stop being lazy before the end of the day.

"I can't do it," pleaded the human.

"Yes, you can. Your species is perfectly capable of manufacturing the sounds. It's hardly a tongue-twister. You nearly have it. Rah... ell..."

"Raffle..."

"Slow it down. You're not trying for best-fit words. You are respecting a cogniscent's name."

The delegate from Libertaria sighed. "It still sounds like something ungodly."

"Technically, that's correct. In that I was manufactured by mortals and my name selected by computational algorithm. Again. Say Rah..."

A lung-deep sigh. "Raaaaahhhhh..."

(Muse food remaining: 39. Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories! Or comment below!)

Challenge #01121-C024: Humans Are Space Orcs

A couple of case studies that had managed to be kept away from the general galactic knowledge pool (except under specific licensing and non-disclosure contracts) come to light - the cases of Phineas Gage, James Brady, Ahad Israfil and others that have suffered massive head injuries and made practically full recoveries, despite the loss of large amounts of brain. (And often despite the lack of medical care of the time - Phineas's accident was in the 1820s)

(Warning for Ahad, pictures from

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Challenge #01120-C023: Irreconcilably Different

http://haberdashing.tumblr.com/post/137972037479/songofsunset-fireandwonder-songofsunset -- Gallifreya

[AN: I know for a fact that there's a really bizarre bug out there. Its young can only eat this super-rare fungal growth, and they solve the problem of making more babies by having one larva gestate like a billion more larvae inside it as it eats. I can't find the name of the thing for life of me. I know David Attenborough talked about it, but that still leaves a lot of

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Challenge #01112-C015: Performance Piece

A scrap of data is recovered. Death's Belief Speech, from Hogfather. Doesn't matter if it's the book or the movie.

For those who haven't read it, a clip from the movie is here.

Not as anything unique to humanity, but rather as a comment on Sophonts as a whole, from a human who would have very much liked to meet the rest of the universe. -- RecklessPrudence

[AN: I would also love to meet the rest of the universe, but I have

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Challenge #01111-C014: To be Good Parents

Speaking of created peoples - whether biology or technology-based - and whether they can be trusted/will rebel/will have morals/all the standard concerns:

"If we do our jobs right, our children are better people than we are." -- RecklessPrudence

The station officials had cleared out a medbay for the anxious parents. A standard Medik and a Wave of the Future Medtech stood by. Patient and implacable.

It was one thing to be first-time parents. It was an entirely different level

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Challenge #01106-C009: Once More, Into the Brig...

"It's a thrilling tale of a dried apricot, four bags of flour, and a torch." -- Gallifreya

Ax'and'l blinked very slowly. It was telling that he was getting used to these levels of crap. And if he let on, he knew that Hwell would only invent new and more interesting levels of crap.

"Save it for getting free drinks at the bars, and even then, I'm letting it known about your capacity limit." He sighed and turned to the Security Guard. "What's

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Challenge #01095-B363: But What Does it Mean?

Another sentence for SPoE(n): “Because of the agency’s oversight, the corporation’s behavior was sanctioned.” And other words that exemplify the "superiority" and "purity" of English: http://mentalfloss.com/article/57032/25-words-are-their-own-opposites -- RecklessPrudence

They had given Shayde a piece of paper preserved under glass. In a special room with careful lighting. Between the half-words on either side, an innocuous sentence.

Because of the agency’s oversight, the corporation’s behavior was sanctioned.

It was news print. The other side

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Challenge #01085-B353: The Cosmic Balldance

Shayde, a costume party, and hundreds of miniscule self-adhesive glow in the dark stars. -- Gallifreya

Of all the reasons that humans had found to throw a party, the autumn festival of Halloween confused him the most. Mediaeval superstition met a modern-day desire for revelry head-on in a display of both ingenuity and greed.

Case in point, the Ambassador of 1986TCE[1] Shayde F. Pitt was throwing a Halloween ball. It promised to be one of the more colourful human celebrations. And

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Challenge #01080-B348: It Used to be a Good Shortcut...

Person #1: You're talking about shoving me in a torpedo and launching me at a planet!

Person #2: Details! Now shut up and get in there. -- RecklessPrudence

"No," said Rael. "I'm a little tired of being treated like some immensely indestructible thing for everyone else's convenience."

"But you are a-- mmmumf mmmf mfflmmff."

"Blakely. Can it." The captain took a deep breath. "You're right. We should have consulted you. But these Sargasso-style pirates have rigged it so that only the smallest

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Challenge #01078-B346: A Miracle by the Riverside

We have a saying, "They're not dead 'til they're warm and dead" -- Gallifreya

Lizards watched in alarm as the humans pulled the child out of the freezing water. Limp and lifeless, the sad scrap of a life seemed beyond salvage. And yet...

The humans around the baby were working tirelessly to instil life into the apparently lifeless. They stripped off wet clothes. Wrapped the tiny body in foil and applied heating blankets. Warmed up bags of saline to plumb into the

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Challenge #01073-B341: One Lazy Afternoon in Shayde's Entertainment Lounge

Is laughing at someone doing something stupid and reaping the consequences a very human thing?

"They're fine, so it's funny"

Even the idiot that tried to go sledding on a bin lid is laughing (leg in plaster optional)

"Look how far I flew when I came off!" -- Gallifreya

"What the living heck is this?" demanded Rael.

On her screen, two 'knights' in cardboard armour sat in shopping trolleys and held broomsticks like lances. They faced off at opposite sides of a

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Challenge #01070-B338: One Slow Afternoon at Unsuitable Food Eat

EUREKA!

Which is greek for "This bath is %*£&ing cold!" -- Gallifreya

"I thought it meant, 'hand me a towel'."

"I heard it was, 'there's a cockroach in the bath'."

"No, no, no. It really means, 'is my time up already'."

Shayde, gloomily watching her joke plummet like a leaden balloon that was currently on fire, tapped the countertop for another fudge sundae. "What goes around comes around," she sighed. "And this one went around so often it's no' a joke

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Challenge #01064-B332: The Pros and Cons of Cute

That one ambassador that has at this point given up on avoiding being picked up and cuddled/held/used as a large teddy bear, and just gets on with paperwork (or listens/chats/relaxes/reads a book/takes a nap) while their fur/scales/feathers are groomed by whoever got them this time, so long as they don't have any appointments to get to. -- Gallifreya

[Re-using Ambassador Ha'ri from story #00761, available for purchase in the next Instants Anthology (coming soon)

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Challenge #01062-B330: One Miserable Evening in a Wave of the Future Science Outpost

Strange how believing in "the greater good" makes doing "necessary evils" so much more tolerable... -- Anon Guest

[AN: I saw your comment on this, RecklessPrudence. Was this you? If so, I'll re-attribute]

Rael was supposed to be resting in his heated tank. Certainly, his body was resting, but he was not insensate. He could hear the argument going on between his creators and the owners of Wave of the Future. He could not see them, and he didn't particularly want to.

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Challenge #01056-B324: For a Dog to Tear

Hachiko, Greyfriars Bobby, Fido, Shep, and every other dog on all three subsections of this list

By the way, to get the full tearjerking experience, for every dog on that list that has a full article, read it as well. -- RecklessPrudence

Etta was getting used to it, even though it broke her heart. Every day, for their morning walk, Boy would insist on trying to find his Master. The routine included visiting his former home in the JOAT sector, and visiting

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