Amalgam Universe

Challenge #01921-E097: One Tension-rich Moment During an Ambassadorial Introduction Party

Your annual festival of re-birth is celebrated by eggs laid by a rabbit! -- Anon Guest

"With," corrected Shayde. "It's celebrated with eggs that're hidden by a rabbit. Yer pretty close though. Gold star fer tryin'."

Behind her, just out of restraining reach, Rael breathed out. The confused statement of brand-new Ambassador G'thox were not, in fact, fighting words. If they had come out of someone trying to start a fight, it might have been a different story.

Shayde had over-the-horizon radar for people wanting to start a fracas, and a very helpful attitude that Security Services were still attempting to curb. Especially accompanied by general enquiries as to whether their mother could sew, pal.

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Challenge #01920-E096: Cometh the Postman

Humans are social creatures. Even the solitary ones. - MolluscsAndMonsters

Humans like me have a saying: No man is an island. Or words to that effect. And... they're right. Even antisocial assholes like me need to brush shoulders with other cogniscents now and again.

But that's why I have the mail run to the cul-de-sac strings. You get wormhole chains like those. Places where it's ten or more jumps to any nexus, anywhere, and the places along the trip are the places

Challenge #01917-E093: Deploy E.C.O.

"Welcome to the first cross-species special forces. You were selected because you are the best of the best in your domain. Now, you will all learn how to efficiently subdue or kill a foe, how to infiltrate a place heavily guarded and how to secure civilians that were hostages. But most importantly, you'll learn that your most important tool isn't your service weapon or a multi-tool knife. Your most important piece of equipment will be this plushy. Because there will always be

Challenge #01914-E090: Primate See...

One person or animal discovers how to do something, think barb on a fish hook, monkey's using salt water to separate rice and baboons catching protein rich flamingos. One creature, but the whole clan picks it up. -- Anon Guest

Civilisation rises on the phrase, watch and learn. There are stories centering around clever and wily people who tricked, crept, or sneaked their way into learning important secrets from Gods, Spirits, or other Magical beings.

Sometimes, those beings come from the stars.

Challenge #01913-E089: They Do What Now?

The rise of the mammals, primates such as humans included, was something of an evolutionary fluke. The world was dominated by proto-avian, likely feathered behemoths before the rise of the mammals. What if humans were the only mammalian species to evolve "cogniscience", and mammalian species are otherwise quite rare? Reptilian, avian, cephalopodic, or insectoid life might be far more common. Aliens must find humans quite odd. -- Nani

It's almost natural for newly spacefaring species to be egocentric. They are, after all,

Challenge #01904-E080: That'll Buff Out

We all do it, either repair something broken with improvised stuff (paperclips are highly favoured), or hit it or kick it. -- Anon Guest

Rael opened up the exterior panel. And nearly had the urge to purge his internal organs. This was a temporary patch job that was actually a flock of temporary patch jobs. A mountain of kludges. Paperclips, ductape, and random bits of fabric, string, and parts that never should have come into conjunction were all there. He recognised desperate

Challenge #01903-E079: Forced Adaptation

If you don’t want someone to push a button, do NOT label it *‘Do Not Push’ * and whatever you do, do NOT make it big or red. -- TheDragonsFlame

It is rare, indeed, that the introduction of a species causes a revolution in the way that the Galactic Alliance runs its standards and practices. Humans were one of the few who did that in large strides. For centuries or longer, many other species adapted to the standards, rather than forcing change

Challenge #01902-E078: They Who Laugh Last

"I'm hungry !" / "Hi Hungry, I'm dad !"

"A man walks into a bar and says 'Ouch'."

"Why is a raven like a writing desk ? Because there is a 'b' in both and an 'n' in neither."

Those 3 English examples show perfectly why a "universal translator" is something impossible. You CAN translate it, but it will be incomprehensible.

Not convinced ? Here's a French example with a literal translation :

Que dit une maman baleine a son enfant qui fait trop de bruit ?

Cétacé ! (C'est

Challenge #01898-E074: But We Made It Home Alive

“I hate the word ‘should’.” -- TheDragonsFlame

"And after we make it through the wormhole, we should be aces," said the Ship's Human, Lyn.

Their Captain bristled, literally. Defensive spikes raised along her carapace. "Should is a word that should not exist," she said.

"Uh... you just used it."

"Yes, the corruption spreads far," said Captain G'orp. "A future tense qualifier adverb is an uncertainty we do not need in the middle of space. We need rock-hard certainty. Not your human 'luck'.

Challenge #01894-E070: Reverse the Polarity!

[Person 1]: You do realize that if this fails, (long list of results of failure) [Person 2]: eh... on second thought... [Person 1]: (proceeds to do the thing) -- TheDragonsFlame

"Okay. Okay! Ooohhh... kay..." said the Ship's Human. "Okay, we could run the ion ejectors backwards. Reverse the polarity of the magnetic engines, sucking in the trail we left for up to three clicks. That'll give us enough exhaust to propel us to the cloud and fully refuel.... I think."

"You do

Challenge #01892-E068: What Rough Beast

“Wait... you mean to tell me that this is the ‘terrifying predator’ we’ve been searching for?” -- TheDragonsFlame

Eyes glowed in the dark. Human Grif trained her spotlight on them and found, "Aw, it's a kitty. Here kitty, kitty, kitty..."

The creature in the darkness slinked out into the light, making a "Mrrp?" sound as it came.

Human Grif made kissy noises, and tore off a tiny piece of jerky as an offering. Before long the cat was smudging up to

Challenge #01889-E065: No Cause For Alarm, My Dear

Pax Humanis has an interesting work force, a lot of killers and a few who hold their leashes. -- Anon Guest

There is a world where only specialists go. There are lots of forests. Lots of lakes. Plenty of reefs. It is a paradise. It is also where they keep the psychopathic, sociopathic killers. There is one city, where the analysts and the scientists live. The scattered and vast estates are for the killing killers and the people who they, for want

Challenge #01886-E062: All in the Manual

If you're tired, sleep. If you're hungry, eat something. Take care of yourself. Self Care Haiku, found on the internet. -- Anon Guest

It was a decorative plaque, almost in the style of the Ten Commandments in the way they were arranged.

If you are tired, sleep, it read. And onwards into other rules.

If you are hungry, eat something. If you are thirsty, drink. If you are ill, take medicine. If you are dirty, bathe. If it is broken, get it

Challenge #01882-E058: Flakk it

After having done something stupid and dangerous to escape a hazardous situation At the time it seemed like a good idea. Afterwards, it's a miracle that it worked without killing us all. -- Anon Guest

It takes a special kind of human to be the Ship's Human in a war zone. Crew need quick thinkers, Luckers of a certain calibre, and those with rapid improvisational skills. Or, as it was known amongst the Humans, "MacGyvering the shit out of things."

Human meme

Challenge #01878-E054: The Mating Game

[Title, "The Harkness Test"] Because if Humanity discovers Alien life without needing a xenocide (from either side), there will be at least 1 person who will try to mate with them. -- Anon Guest

[AN: Again, please do not make your prompt title part of your prompt. You could literally make your prompt title a serial number. I care about the prompt content, and doing the title stuff is a pain in my butt]

Some elementary truths about humans in general, and

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A 2289-post collection

Challenge #01921-E097: One Tension-rich Moment During an Ambassadorial Introduction Party

Challenge #01920-E096: Cometh the Postman

Challenge #01917-E093: Deploy E.C.O.

Challenge #01914-E090: Primate See...

Challenge #01913-E089: They Do What Now?

Challenge #01904-E080: That'll Buff Out

Challenge #01903-E079: Forced Adaptation

Challenge #01902-E078: They Who Laugh Last

Challenge #01898-E074: But We Made It Home Alive

Challenge #01894-E070: Reverse the Polarity!

Challenge #01892-E068: What Rough Beast

Challenge #01889-E065: No Cause For Alarm, My Dear

Challenge #01886-E062: All in the Manual

Challenge #01882-E058: Flakk it

Challenge #01878-E054: The Mating Game