Amalgam Universe

Challenge #02170-E341: The Little Necessities

An alien realizes his travel buddy of a different species who he thought was a bit immature is a literal teenager and immediately becomes more protective. -- OohLookShiny

Gorkz was rather fond of Human Zae. They were rough around the edges, as all Humans were, but there were enough positives to balance out negatives like, instantly drawing a straight line between any random phrase and a crude joke. They were loyal to a fault, knew which direction to take their aggression out in, and amazingly easy-going. They fit their personal maintenance schedules around Gorkz's own with relative ease.

It wasn't until they hit a more popular Edge trading station called Swapmeet that Gorkz discovered one, slightly alarming 'negative' about Human Zae. Gorkz was determined to give Human Zae some rewards for their unswerving service, and partial payment for all the hard knocks they had taken. When they pulled up to a place serving Unsuitable Food, a fellow Human noticed them and strolled over.

They were significantly larger than Human Zae, but that was nothing to be alarmed about. Human Zae had defeated many creatures larger than themselves. Even attempted to train a few of them. This approaching Human wasn't giving any threat indicators, but Human Zae was muttering curses in their barbaric tongue. The reason why became evident very soon, as the approaching Human began conversation with, "You know is child, yes?"

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Challenge #02160-E331: Not That Simple

I have love in me the likes of which can scarcely be imagined and rage the likes of which you would not believe. If I can not satisfy one, I will indulge the other. -- Anon Guest

If there is one rule of the Universe beyond, never ask questions to which there may be a painful answer, it is this: Never Anger a Primary Parental.

Q'essoj was busy learning this. They thought that taking a Human infant from an apparently unguarded area

Challenge #02159-E330: Understandable Precautions

A Havenworlder exploration vessel is exchanging stuff and ideas with a Terran exploration vessel. All is relaxed and going very well until one of the Terrans puts down their drinking vessel and declares the most terrifying words in all the multiverses -- "I've just had a thought!!" -- Anon Guest

Humans are Deathworlders. They have become gradually aware of this. Deathworlders and Havenworlders should not mix, but space is an unfriendly environment and sometimes you really need a big friend who is

Challenge #02157-E328: The Melody Lingers On

few things annoy or irritate a human more than an unfinished tune or ditty...

ESPECIALLY the simplest ones, notably "a shave and a Haircut" and "Pop goes the Weasel" -- Adam in Darwin

Humans have an alarming attachment to rhythm and melody for a species so centred on sight. Many prefer to have "their tunes" in the background during work, and many more are victim to the Ice/Pressure phenomenon[1]. Humans say that music is a universal language, but even they

Challenge #02156-E327: They'll Be Back

It wasn't that Humans were suicidal, nor are they intrinsically self absorbed.

They just understand better than even most Herd like species, that sometimes the only way to save the masses is to sacrifice the few, preferably themselves.

That doesn't mean they went quietly, or easily. -- Adam in Darwin

It only takes a moment. A split-second decision along the lines of, Here is where I stand and fight. The lucky few see it in the Human's eyes just moments before the

Challenge #02155-E326: Alone in the Night

It was a single dot in the blackness of space. All it did was shout 'I am!' to the surrounding cold dark. -- Anon Guest

This is space - lots of it is very dark, except for the bits of it that aren't. When there is light enough to see by, one could be completely unaware of the plethora of light surrounding one, and therefore think that the blackness of the void is infinite. Technically, it is. It is also peppered

Challenge #02154-E325: She's Still a Pup

[NAME] winced slightly. "It's a dog, Major. A companion animal."

"Looks like a class 3 bio engineered weapon to me!" -- Anon Guest

The creature was huge. Even sitting down, it was almost as tall as a human. It was almost as wide as a human. Only the wagging tail distinguished it from a Terran bear. That, and the lolling tongue, dripping saliva as the animal panted. The human by its side agitated some fur by a nub that could have been

Challenge #02153-E324: Canned Exodus

The Mom Mobile, either a titchy little car that is slightly larger than a phone booth or the massive Soccer Mom, haul anything including the whole team. -- Anon Guest

Men carry money. Women carry the world. -- Ancient Human Proverb.

Galactics can easily tell which gender secured the Human escape vessel. The tiny ones that barely fit the number of survivors and a minimal amount of survival supplies are generally procured by the males. The large and bulky ones with room

Challenge #02153-E324: Legendary Salvation

"The group was brought back to Hamburg to stand trial, where they were sentenced to death by beheading. Resigned to his death, Stortebeker struck up a bizarre deal with the mayor. His pirates would be lined up in a row when he was decapitated. The mayor promised to free as many men as Stortebeker’s headless body could walk past.

This must have seemed like a raw deal for the pirates, who had doubtlessly witnessed the effects of multiple beheadings in their

Challenge #02151-E322: Easily Entertained

Human: ha, dogs are so easily amused. I just watched this one Chase his tail for 15 minutes straight

Alien: You spent 15 minutes watching a dog chase its tail

Human: yeah, that's what I just said

Alien: and the dog is the one whose easily amused

Human: ...yes?

Alien: (sarcastically) okay, sure that makes sense -- OohLookShiny

The list of dangerous things in the known universe had once, paradoxically, contained entries on both "quiet humans" and "laughing humans". It has since

Challenge #02149-E320: Don't Wanna Live Underground

"Graham, there's some very large lizards down here. We should leave."

"After I've gotten these mineral samples. Anyway, it's only a lizard, what's the problem?"

"Its jaws are around my ankle." -- Anon Guest

Graham looked. This was just one among the many reasons why Planetary Survey Teams had combat-ready livesuits as part of their essential equipment. The lizard in question looked like a boa constrictor had somehow had children with a sarcosuchus and, owing to the subterranean environment, didn't have much

Challenge #02148-E319: Mutual Flailing With Shouting

"Good news Commander, there is a settlement with enough material to repair our ship, the inhabitant seems more curious than afraid, and they are more than willing to trade the needed materials for help with theirs infrastructure. Mainly a water purifying station and a basic energy production facilities."

"Do they understand GalStand ?"

"That's the tricky part... That's a Vorax settlement..." -- Anon Guest

Can you imagine a surprise bigger than that? The Vorax have castes, and the most widely-known is the warrior

Challenge #02145-E316: Pass the Ductape and Praise the Powers

"Well yeah, it works, but could it be better?" at this point groaning wasn't stopping the human from trying -- Anon Guest

There are two kinds of Humans, though debates abound as to which kinds those two are. In this case, though, the division is between those who say, "What the flakk, it runs," and those who say, "Yes, I know it's working perfectly fine, but what if it worked better than that?" Human Andi was one among the latter.

Like most

Challenge #02143-E314: 'Tis the Season

The Harvest moon fills the sky

A wicked witch goes flying by

Ghosts and goblins..skeletons too.

Moaning and groaning, waiting for you

Black cats prowl the graveyard plots

Witches cook in cauldron pots

Cemetery ghouls roam the ground

Not one unopened grave is found

Tombstones are an eerie sight

Shadows dance in full moon light

The haunted house on the hill

Walk in there and you get a chill

Jack-o-lanterns eyes so bright

Trick or Treaters scream in fright

It’s

Challenge #02142-E313: Been There, Done That

Alien: "WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE CRASH LANDED ON YOUR HOME PLANET!?"

Human: "I mean we are on Earth, my home, somewhere in Central Africa...I think."

Alien: "We are doomed"

Human: "No we're not. Don't worry, I'll teach you everything there is to know about surviving on a Deathworld, we'll be fine." -- Anon Guest

Human Yoss clambered up the wreckage of their vessel. The bad news was that they were in the middle of flakk-off nowhere with busted comms. The

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A 2337-post collection

Challenge #02170-E341: The Little Necessities

Challenge #02160-E331: Not That Simple

Challenge #02159-E330: Understandable Precautions

Challenge #02157-E328: The Melody Lingers On

Challenge #02156-E327: They'll Be Back

Challenge #02155-E326: Alone in the Night

Challenge #02154-E325: She's Still a Pup

Challenge #02153-E324: Canned Exodus

Challenge #02153-E324: Legendary Salvation

Challenge #02151-E322: Easily Entertained

Challenge #02149-E320: Don't Wanna Live Underground

Challenge #02148-E319: Mutual Flailing With Shouting

Challenge #02145-E316: Pass the Ductape and Praise the Powers

Challenge #02143-E314: 'Tis the Season

Challenge #02142-E313: Been There, Done That