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A 480-post collection

Challenge #00383 - A018: Please Understand

“Darling, I love you, and I could never be scared of you. However some things you do will terrify me on a primal level, so please do not be offended that I practically teleport off the couch every time you do that scree-ah noise.”

“You mean this one?” Scree-ah!

“EEE!” Pant pant pant. “Yes. That’s the one. Gets me right in the primitive cortex.”

“Even with a warning?”

“Yes, sweetie. Even when I’m warned. It’s like that thing with my toes and you.”

“Eugh… toes. Yes. I am grateful for those little slippers.” He shuddered, making his feathers ruffle.

“And I would be grateful if you toned down the scree-ah when you know I’m around.”

“Silly Mammal…”

“Beautiful Dinosaur…”

They hugged.

“On the plus side, I know how to wake you up in an emergency.”

“Darling…”

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Challenge #00379 - A014: One Fine Afternoon Whilst Escorting the Ambassador From Jaarl

You probably already saw this but here’s another prompt for you:

http://cleromancy.tumblr.com/post/69788968504/something-i-think-about-a-lot-is-what-if-alien

[AN: No, I hadn’t seen it, but I’m running with the idea]

Not everyone meets the galactic confluence at a convenient time. And rather than rousing the ire of over thirty thousand assorted ambassadors just for an introduction, a new Ambassador is sent to go on a tour of the most important planets to know about.

And ever

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Challenge #00376 - A011: Unconventional.

Dogs on an interplanetary space station. What could possibly go wrong?

[AN: Here’s one I did earlier… But I presume you mean non-augments, so…]

The galactic community were just barely getting used to humans. There were large numbers of cogniscents who tended to run and hide when they spotted even a small one. Luckily, many humans did not view this as an insult and, in fact, some found it amusing.

The galactic community were also barely accustomed to

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Challenge #00375 - A010: Animal Associate

The concept of pets is an odd one to explain, although firsthand experience tends to fill in the gaps you can’t quite articulate. And when pets are involved experience is going to happen whether it is planned or not.

Jane figured she should get used to aliens feeling her. They didn’t mean to be rude, she knew. They were just curious.

But, she swore to God, if one more of them tried to taste her hair…

One

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Challenge #00370 - A005: Cursed Curses

I get that it’s a curse, and it’s supposed to be horrendous and probably means I’m going to die in some terribly gory manner in a few days time, but did it have to be so damn cheerful? And the song is so peppy and catchy. This is like the opposite of what an evil curse is supposed to be, I feel vaguely cheated somehow.

[AN: Forgive the horrible poetry]

“You found the tomb/ You

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Stolen from a Webcomic

Alien (thoughtfully): A whole holiday of disguise and deceit [Ed: Halloween]… truly these hu-mons are a formidable race.

*points at minionbot*

Alien: Every one of their vaunted ‘holidays’ are actually exercises in deception and warfare.

*resumes thinking position*

Alien: Christmas - a thinly veiled exercise in obfuscation and forensic cryptology. Easter - infiltration and recovery… New Years Eve… a form of globally coordinated mass ordnance deployment.

Minionbot: What about Valentine’s Day?

Alien: Ah yes, Valentine&

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Challenge #00361: Stupid Mammals.

*irritated muttering*  "… Stupid mammals and their ability to function regardless of temperature….“

Cold.

The desire to hibernate was strong, but in this environment, the desire to hibernate could kill. This place was permanently cold. They would sleep and never wake up.

The ship’s human knew this. Given their species-inherent desire to eliminate the Other, the surprising part was how they did not use the current situation to win.

The captain watched in amazement and torpor, as

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Challenge #00360: Everything Proof Shield

When the greatest weapons and technology does nothing, it’s not always the end of the battle. Sometimes you just have to grab the nearest heavy object and go medieval on your adversary.

She had watched them glide through nukes that did not explode as they were supposed to. She saw both bazookas and bombs fail to ignite in their presence. Even guns would not fire.

The alien invasion did not kill. They didn’t need to. They simply stopped

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Chalenge #00358: O...MG Tannenbaum

“How did you even get a live pine tree onto the space station?”

“Uh… the Magic of Christmas?”

It was sixteen Standard Distance Units tall. It was coated in sparkling lights, then coated again in shiny metallic fronds of tinsel, then covered in small, shiny objects, then covered in bows. And then, to top things off, whoever covered it over in all of this thought that that wasn’t enough, and started all over with the

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New take on an old saw.

Whoever said that when all you have is a hammer, the world starts to look like a nail was a handless idiot. They’d obviously never stood in front of a forge, never beaten on a piece of red- hot metal, because the fact is that you start with a hammer; it’s the first and most fundamental tool, the one you use to give shape and structure, to bring all the others out of the raw material and make

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Challenge #00356: Average Ordinary Every-Day...

When your special talent is not having a special talent, and why it’s awesome

Storybook Slate could do a little of everything. She was the most helpful pony in Ponyville.

And yet, every morning, she would be touring the town seeking odd jobs to help with. Towing her tool cart behind her. Every day she was doing something different. Helping ponies everywhere.

Naturally, the Cute Mark Crusaders found her fascinating.

They caught her on a rare day off, when she

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Challenge #00355: Designated Victim

When having no powers at all is a power all its own

The world was full of Supers. Capes. Special powers. Skin-tight costumes. Fantastic abs. And, in the case of the ladies, zero-gravity boobs and super-flexible spines.

They didn’t bother with secret identities. They all had super fortresses and leagues of allies. Some sworn to protect the ordinary citizen. Some working on their own agendas…

But most of them, to a cape, performing politics with their fists.

There were

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Challenge #00354: Tell Me How to Get... How to Get to...

There’s a monster in the woods at the edge of town, so be caref-

You’ve seen it?

Big, hairy thing with razor claw- oh no, that’s just Jeff, he runs the bakery on Bard street.

Monsters.

Monsters everywhere.

Fur and fangs and claws and the imitation of human faces. The mockery of human bodies.

He fetched up in an alley off the main street. He’d given up on holding back tears. This place was

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Three people on Tumblr

[1st person]-how did they learn to translate languages into other languages how did they know which words meant what HOW DID TH[/]

[2nd Person]
English Person: *Points at an apple* Apple
French Person: Non c’est une fucking pomme

*800 years of war*[/]

[3rd Person]
I’m laughing entirely too hard at this. :’)[/]

(Bonus points for “pomme” - “Apple” in French, and “Pom” - English person in Australian) ;) – RecklessPrudence

(#00353)

Darleen hadn’t

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Challenge #00352: The Case For Doing Your Homework

“At last! I have - No! Oxygen, my only weakness! How did you know?”

“… Did you even look up the planet before you got here?”

Zykryxx the Conquerer looked down at the small, blue-green marble in the view screen at his feet. There was, unbelievably, cogniscent life on it. A planet with seventy percent of its surface covered with liquid water.

They were undoubtedly primitives. They were still communication on radio bands, and had only recently graduated

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