Challenge #00361: Stupid Mammals.

*irritated muttering*  "… Stupid mammals and their ability to function regardless of temperature….“

Cold.

The desire to hibernate was strong, but in this environment, the desire to hibernate could kill. This place was permanently cold. They would sleep and never wake up.

The ship’s human knew this. Given their species-inherent desire to eliminate the Other, the surprising part was how they did not use the current situation to win.

The captain watched in amazement and torpor, as the human dragged each and every one of the surviving crew to the warmest area in the ship. How she used blankets and ‘hottie botties’ to at least keep a majority of the crew conscious.

How she used a blanket and paperclips to fashion insulation for herself. One blanket! When the others had all the layers that the human could gather and mattresses and hot water bottles and anything that could be forced to pump out heat.

Even the bodies of the dead were bought inside the one room with a positive temperature. Stacked respectfully in a corner in the hopes that they could be resuscitated when they were warmer.

It was such an odd human saying: they’re not dead until they’re warm and dead.

Mammals were warm all the time. Weren’t they?

The human finally stopped whatever it was doing and joined the huddle under the insulation. She told them about Emperor Penguins. How the males would nurse their eggs in the middle of the antarctic winters. How they would share their body heat by taking turns in the inside or the outside of the huddle. Fighting the cold together.

Yet the ship’s human was the only endothermic being on board.

It took some time for the crew to process the story and the plan that came with it.

The human, napping under so much insulation, would quickly overheat. BUT, if she were surrounded by a constant stream of chilled Trachylep crew, they could both keep each other alive for another day-night cycle.

It was a night worthy of farce, but the captain was very glad to huddle up against the warm human when the chill threatened to take higher functioning away. And, a subtle bonus, the entire crew had proof that she growled in her sleep.

She 'snored’, to use the human word.

*

It took her five days to make enough repairs to get them down the mountain. Part of which was constructing a 'sled bottom’ for their vessel during the warmest part of the day.

From ten in the morning until two in the afternoon. Those were the four hours when it was actually safe for the human to go outside. Captain Zix was certain the human’s plan would cause terror if they were more awake to process it.

She was going to slide the ship, crew and all, down the mountain and into a warmer area of the planet’s surface. There, the work that needed to be done to get them space-borne once more could be done faster.

She’d even planned a path to get them down with a minimum of damage. Zix would find out later about the mess that human "jerry rigging” and “jiggery pokery” could cause.

And it was a bumpy ride. Zix and her crew were tossed about like peas in a can. Many bundled themselves up in whatever padding they could grab. More than a few shed their tails in primitive panic.

Amazingly, astonishingly, they were alive when the remains of the ship finally came to a halt.

Except for those who were definitively dead to begin with.

The hoarfrost on the walls began to melt by the time the ship’s human returned. Worse for wear. Grinning like a maniac. Laughing sporadically and shivering.

“That was fun,” she panted. “Ambient temperature outside is nice and warm. Just the way you lizards like it.” She looked around at the bundled crew and the still-twitching tails scattered about. “Oops. I thought I’d warned you.”

“Stupid humans,” muttered Captain Zix. It was almost a mantra. “Stupid mammals and their ability to function regardless of temperature…”

“You’re welcome,” snarked the human. “Thanks for saving our truncated asses, Uhura. You’re welcome O Captain, My Captain. I’m certain you would deserve a medal or at least a commendation for your actions. Think nothing of it, My Captain; I was simply doing my duty.”

Stupid humans and their habits of parody. “You… did do well,” managed Zix. “We owe you our lives, Oo'oo'a.”

“Uhura,” corrected the human. “I’ll be sampling local flora and fauna while you guys thaw. The roof of the ship should be getting nice and warm.”

Now that was a hint they could all parse.

Zix made a mental note to balance the human’s efforts against the damage done while performing them. In the meantime, she was going to get warm at last.

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