Myths Illogical

A 182-post collection

Challenge #01486-D025: Worth a Life

“unfortunately it hurts all 3 of my feelings” - Carrie Fisher -- RecklessPrudence

Oh crap. She'd tripped over a Faerie nest.

Of all the authors who featured the Fair Folk in their modern writings, A. A. Milne said it best: Their bodies were so tiny that they could only process one feeling at a time. What hardly anyone remembered about Faeries is this: immortality can drive cogniscent beings insane. Milne's traditional cause of faerie death is not what these hyperactive creatures needed.

They needed to be hurled into the sun, in her opinion. But just try talking to NASA about that. In the meantime, there were only so many ways to apologise to a hive of angry Faeries. And one of them involved rum. Which Caeri didn't have in her pack because this was meant to be a sober hike. The other method involved bloodletting.

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Challenge #01419-C324: Creatures of the Night

Quote from Hellboy: There are things that go bump in the night. We're the ones who bump back. -- Anon Guest

[AN: I haven't had the dosh to acquire the original comics, alas. I want to get them though.]

From ghoulies and ghosties and long-leggity beasties...

It was a fine thing to believe in a merciful god. Chanda endorsed it. Belief is a powerful thing and a defense against certain evils. Unfortunately, with belief in the good, comes belief in the evil.

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Challenge #01413-C318: The Otherworldly Ones

http://phantomrose96.tumblr.com/post/152590950362/airyairyquitecontrary-aprillikesthings

Humans are Fae for urban animals -- Gallifreya

"They live in a cave," the corvid insisted. "Caves all over the cliffs. Caves in the grasslands. They're all so confusing that it's difficult to find your way out again. The sky turns into a wall. But if you find a nice one, they will take you to the wall that is open and let you be free."

"They leave food," said the possum. "Some even give

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Challenge #01405-C310: Friend of the Fae

There's a reason fairy rhymes with scary -- OohLookShiny

[AN: There's a reason why I use 'faerie' as a spelling for them]

Now let's be clear, faeries don't exist. Everyone knows that they're just old wives' tales about dangerous places that have long since be rendered safe...

But...

Just in case...

Don't fell a faerie tree. Don't disturb a standing stone. Keep away from the faerie hill. Never whistle at midnight when you're in the woods. Throw the salt over your shoulder.

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Challenge #01403-C308: Making Wishes Three

Someone actually makes three sensible wishes. Knitnan

"Three wishes, you say," said Lynn. "May I think about them?"

"Of course," said the Djinn. "But no thinking out loud."

Lynn sat on a handy rock and took out her notebook and pencil. The good one with the decent eraser. She wrote, World peace and remembered that episode of the X-files. No. What she needed was unbreakable, unbendable, non-interpretable set of wishes. She stuck her chewelry gem in her mouth and got to really

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Challenge #01396-C301: Unconventional Saints

While skimming Reddit's D7D page, I ran across a thread discussing interesting house-rules various groups had invented for their games. Some were mundane, like what weapons did certain amounts of damage on critical hits, or which monsters were weak to certain elements, but one strange one stuck out...

"Paladins and Clerics who are sworn to the service of gods who are Lawful Good in alignment are, as a result of their intense piety and devotion, actually and literally able to piss pure

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Challenge #01394-C299: Gods Grant It

In some religious systems the ruling Deity 'rides' or speaks through a member of the congregation. Like Lois McMasters Bujold's "Saints" I wonder if it's more of a problem than an honour. -- Anon Guest

[AN: I firkin LOVE anything written by Lois McMasters Bujold]

One good thing about taking shelter in an abandoned temple, Josephine mused, was that one was technically close to the gods. She'd prayed at half of those altars in the dead of the night. And now, at

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Challenge #01386-C291: Anti-serendipity

"What happened to the scarf of invulnerability?"

"Uh... my cat ate it." -- OohLookShiny

The cat in question growled from its position under the ottoman. Yellow eyes glowed out from the shadows.

"The good news," said Ki'van, "is that the scarf itself is invulnerable. We... um... just have to wait a bit."

Now the growling from under the ottoman took on a slightly musical quality. So... the cat wasn't just pissed at him.

"I know she'll try to take my arm off

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Challenge #01380-C285: Not a Joke

And so the Princess kissed the frog, and the Prince laughed because, How did she fall for that!?! -- OohLookShiny

The Princess Orinoco glared at the Prince as he laughed so hard that he fell out of the tree he'd been hiding in.

The frog in her hands said, "He promised he'd release my family... Please forgive me."

Princess Orinoco carefully put the frog down by the pond, drew her knife, and marched over to the laughing Prince. His laughter cut short

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Challenge #01378-C283: Heavenly Host

http://callmegallifreya.tumblr.com/post/151095300715/deliverusfromsburb-gods-falling-in-love-with The god that adopts a ton of kids

1) In the beginning. Stupid mistakes, awkward moments, working out what to do and what to tell the kid

2) Later. There's a horde of them, some of them have grown up and left but there's always more that need help. -- Anon Guest

[AN: this puts the gap count down to TWO]

1)

Hestatus, God of home and hearth, used to be a minor god. And

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Challenge #01371-C276: One Small Difference

Dragon: Tries to kidnap a princess

Dragon: Accidentally saves a Prince from a tower

Dragon: Isn't sure what happened -- OohLookShiny

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a young Dragon in possession of a good lair, must be in want of a Princess. So it was for Ginrauth, who had not only terrorised the local Dwarfs into submitting 'donations' to his hoard, but had also found an abundance of shiny gemstones within the cavern he dug. He knew all there was

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Challenge #01369-C274: The Strongest of All

Based on one post in yesterday's prompt, Humans in a fantasy realm as Team Fuck It Hold My Beer I Got This. Details here. -- RecklessPrudence

Elves can see as far as an eagle, and shoot the eyes out of a fly, if it suited their fancy. Humans invented telescopes, and microscopes, and crossbows, and cannons. And the Elves thought themselves lucky that the humans turned all that deadly enginuity towards each other, and not towards other species.

Dwarves are as tough

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Challenge #01366-C271: Mahal's Warrior

Dwarves and Gender Politics. Details here. -- RecklessPrudence

En had rather hoped to be over with this adventure by now. Certainly, the Grand City of Ghil had a need, but En was on his own timetable. Adventuring during the first trimester was generally dismissed as plausible but dangerous. And En hadn't even known he was pregnant when the Admaster of Ghil had sent him and his party on this quest.

Transgender adventuring came with a unique set of risks. And since this

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Challenge #01364-C269: Here There Be Werewolves

Tidally-locked Lycanthropy Planet. Details here. -- RecklessPrudence

Rough seas, of course. Rounding the Cape to the trade winds inevitably involved rough seas. It took a good captain to deal with just that. But of course, things had to be trickier. Sailing the Cape had to be done in full daylight or not at all, because the Moon shone her full face on the southern hemisphere. Which left those dangerous lands populated entirely by werewolves.

And even with all these precautions, there was

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Challenge #01356-C261: You Need More Tests

Diagnostician in a world similar to our own, but with one major difference. -- RecklessPrudence

[AN: I'm pretty sure I did one of this prompt for Undertale once upon a time... Gotta shake things up this time.]

Headline news had once been Magic Is Real!. But that was a long time ago. Cryptids, monsters, and assorted paradimensional beings came out of the woodwork. And humanity did what it did best - it bred with them. Which lead to some... interesting medical revelations.

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