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Myths Illogical

A 190-post collection

Challenge #01511-D050: This House is Not Haunted

http://goddammitstacey.tumblr.com/post/155552788003 "I just turned to my housemate and said, “y’know, we’d never know if we were haunted” because we have four cats between us, so every clunk, bump, and crash gets entirely ignored and now I want a movie about a ghost becoming increasingly desperate to haunt a family but they have cats and so the poor dear goes completely ignored" -- Gallifreya

I was, once.

Nothing more than that. Simply that I was, once. As in, I was a single lady living alone. I was incredibly protective of my home and my things. I was alive. Not any more. I'm still in my house and I don't like it when other people move in. I make... trouble.

Shifting things around. Throwing things off of their places. Moving things into odd places. All the usual poltergeist stuff. And it did work for years. I kept my house all to myself. And then they moved in. Two nice lesbians and their five cats. They say ghosts and cats don't get along. They don't know anything.

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Challenge #01508-D047: The Nature of Hell

http://writing-prompt-s.tumblr.com/post/156684722295

"Due to a loophole in the system, people can escape hell and get to heaven after death. You go to hell and all you see is Satan, just sitting there playing the harmonica. Everyone left him and now he’s all alone." -- Gallifreya

Jean Paul Sartre said that hell is other people. He could not be more wrong. Though other people have their disadvantages, the true hell is loneliness. Hell was made to be vast,

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Challenge #01501-D040: Dis-possessed

"There is no room for demons, when you're already self-possessed" - Carrie Fisher -- RecklessPrudence

The demon Az'bar'bijol, once summoned, launched itself at the luckless human who was foolish enough to read its incantation out loud. And almost got the spiritual equivalent of a concussion when it was repelled by a possessing force already in residence, so to speak.

"Nice try," said the human. "But you can't do that with me. And... soon as I whip up a binding spell, you won't

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Challenge #01497-D036: Incautious Wishing

They go about their daily lives, unnoticed, but without them, things would soon fall apart. -- Anon Guest

He'd got his wish. Those Types were gone from his country. They may even be gone from the world, but he didn't really care about anything beyond the borders that didn't make him money. This encapsulated quite an amount of uncaring for the world, had he cared about that, either.

He had exactly forty-eight hours to enjoy his newly-made paradise. No man remaining in

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Challenge #01496-D035: Signal of Doom

http://writing-prompt-s.tumblr.com/post/156012408168/you-live-in-a-world-of-superheroes-and "You live in a world of superheroes and supervillains. Each person gets three marks, one on their right hand to indicate their future arch nemesis, one on their left hand to indicate their side kick/partner, and one on their chest to indicate their powers and insignia. Today your marks show up and they’re… Shocking, to say the least." (same prompt but this time, all the symbols are identical. If you did that the

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Challenge #01495-D034: Super Signals

http://writing-prompt-s.tumblr.com/post/156012408168/you-live-in-a-world-of-superheroes-and "You live in a world of superheroes and supervillains. Each person gets three marks, one on their right hand to indicate their future arch nemesis, one on their left hand to indicate their side kick/partner, and one on their chest to indicate their powers and insignia. Today your marks show up and they’re… Shocking, to say the least." -- Gallifreya

Everyone gets their Wakening at a different time. The symbol on the chest

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Challenge #01492-D031: Here There Be Dragon

http://writing-prompt-s.tumblr.com/post/156113062734

"The dragon was hoarding sheet music, and doing its darn best to play the comically undersized instruments it’d stolen to go along with them." -- Gallifreya

Sir Greenbaum edged into the dragon's cavern. Dragons were always tricky business. A kingdom with one in its realm proceeded with caution. Those who sent a Princess had to be certain of both the princess and the dragon. And as for this realm... well... their Princess still needed a

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Challenge #01487-D026: On the Other Side of the Fence

“I have at least 14 bad angles” - Carrie Fisher -- RecklessPrudence

Carl made a career out of being abnormal. As one of the rare few who could not be cured, he told the jokes than nobody else dared make. Like, "Hey did you hear about the dyslexic biker? He joined Hell's Angles." or, "Public transportation is a real pain. You just try catching the sub every day."

And it worked. People laughed. He earned a living. He kept a home and

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Challenge #01486-D025: Worth a Life

“unfortunately it hurts all 3 of my feelings” - Carrie Fisher -- RecklessPrudence

Oh crap. She'd tripped over a Faerie nest.

Of all the authors who featured the Fair Folk in their modern writings, A. A. Milne said it best: Their bodies were so tiny that they could only process one feeling at a time. What hardly anyone remembered about Faeries is this: immortality can drive cogniscent beings insane. Milne's traditional cause of faerie death is not what these hyperactive creatures needed.

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Challenge #01419-C324: Creatures of the Night

Quote from Hellboy: There are things that go bump in the night. We're the ones who bump back. -- Anon Guest

[AN: I haven't had the dosh to acquire the original comics, alas. I want to get them though.]

From ghoulies and ghosties and long-leggity beasties...

It was a fine thing to believe in a merciful god. Chanda endorsed it. Belief is a powerful thing and a defense against certain evils. Unfortunately, with belief in the good, comes belief in the evil.

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Challenge #01413-C318: The Otherworldly Ones

http://phantomrose96.tumblr.com/post/152590950362/airyairyquitecontrary-aprillikesthings

Humans are Fae for urban animals -- Gallifreya

"They live in a cave," the corvid insisted. "Caves all over the cliffs. Caves in the grasslands. They're all so confusing that it's difficult to find your way out again. The sky turns into a wall. But if you find a nice one, they will take you to the wall that is open and let you be free."

"They leave food," said the possum. "Some even give

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Challenge #01405-C310: Friend of the Fae

There's a reason fairy rhymes with scary -- OohLookShiny

[AN: There's a reason why I use 'faerie' as a spelling for them]

Now let's be clear, faeries don't exist. Everyone knows that they're just old wives' tales about dangerous places that have long since be rendered safe...

But...

Just in case...

Don't fell a faerie tree. Don't disturb a standing stone. Keep away from the faerie hill. Never whistle at midnight when you're in the woods. Throw the salt over your shoulder.

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Challenge #01403-C308: Making Wishes Three

Someone actually makes three sensible wishes. Knitnan

"Three wishes, you say," said Lynn. "May I think about them?"

"Of course," said the Djinn. "But no thinking out loud."

Lynn sat on a handy rock and took out her notebook and pencil. The good one with the decent eraser. She wrote, World peace and remembered that episode of the X-files. No. What she needed was unbreakable, unbendable, non-interpretable set of wishes. She stuck her chewelry gem in her mouth and got to really

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Challenge #01396-C301: Unconventional Saints

While skimming Reddit's D7D page, I ran across a thread discussing interesting house-rules various groups had invented for their games. Some were mundane, like what weapons did certain amounts of damage on critical hits, or which monsters were weak to certain elements, but one strange one stuck out...

"Paladins and Clerics who are sworn to the service of gods who are Lawful Good in alignment are, as a result of their intense piety and devotion, actually and literally able to piss pure

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Challenge #01394-C299: Gods Grant It

In some religious systems the ruling Deity 'rides' or speaks through a member of the congregation. Like Lois McMasters Bujold's "Saints" I wonder if it's more of a problem than an honour. -- Anon Guest

[AN: I firkin LOVE anything written by Lois McMasters Bujold]

One good thing about taking shelter in an abandoned temple, Josephine mused, was that one was technically close to the gods. She'd prayed at half of those altars in the dead of the night. And now, at

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