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Mundane Matters

A 15-post collection

Challenge #04431-L047: Fifty Ways to Go No Contact

Vernita Nemec: Private Places (0:37)

An excerpt from an installation for The Second Coming, a show by Carnival Knowledge at Franklin Furnace.

Listen to track 3:

(https://www.ubu.com/sound/tellus_2.html) -- Hudson

[AN: Transcript for the hard of hearing - a soft woman's voice says "I wanna talk to you about something. (pause) I found something in your drawer, and I'm very upset by it. (pause) I don't know quite what to think. (pause) But... um... I think you should destroy them. I don't want to have to tell your father. I don't want to have to show your father. (pause) I won't ask you where you got the ideas for them." On a more personal note, this particular half of a conversation sounds like it came directly from an authoritarian household with overtones of sexism in the mix.]

That tore it. She had to get out of this house. Her mother had found her secret accessories. Not by accident, either. Dale had hid them in a shoebox in the very back of the only drawer that had a lock in her entire room. She didn't just find them, she went looking.

Dale came to the sinking realisation that her parents had set up this one secret place to discover what she might want to hide from them.

She took a deep breath and said, "Okay. I'll get rid of them today." Quick improvisation made her add, "I'll find somewhere far away so nobody finds them in our trash." That gave her plenty of excuses to be away from the house for a while. If she believed in whatever her parents worshipped, she'd thank God that she always kept the locker key on her person and out of sight.

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Challenge #04399-L015: Rainbow Matchmaking Conundrum

A: hey, quick question Mina is Bisexual right?

B: she is, but her type is straight women and gay men.

A: does that mean she’s destined to be all Bi herself?! -- Anon Guest

[AN: This prompt was trimmed for brevity]

"Hahahahaha," Libbie deadpanned. "So hilarious. Listen. Nobody deserves to be alone, okay? We're not Mina's type, and we love her, so maybe focus on helping her out instead of being mean?"

"I didn't think I was being that mean," grumbled

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Challenge #04394-L010: Consequences, the Ultimate Lesson

Don't piss off that quiet, small, human reading her book. Small doesn't mean meek. -- Anon Guest

Sooner or later, civilisations learn the reason behind the saying, Watch out for the little guy. Some unfortunates insist on learning it again and again. Such as the two schoolyard bullies observing the local nerd in the library.

Neither of them could pin down exactly how or why the nerd became the school's favourite target. "Being weird" was generally excuse enough.

There was currently no

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Challenge #04346-K328: Early Childcare

There's something to be said about need being the parental of invention. A small, sharp needle, some thin wire, and a lot of imagination can move mountains. -- Anon Guest

[AN: A little elementary research has shown me that the concept of a fastening device that doesn't hurt its wearer is older than you think it is. Look up fibula brooches. You're welcome.]

There's something to be said about loving another to the point of invention. Loving someone so much that creating

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Challenge #04341-K323: Adapt and Thrive

Deep in the woods, the howl of the wolves, off in the seas, our brothers play. Up in the skies, our sisters fly, their eyes in the cities is my way. -- Fighting Fit

Children of the night, what interesting music they make. Sing, my family of shadows. Sing the song of the moon and stars. Even when you can't see them. I sing to street lamps, cars, trucks and trains. The moon will hear me nonetheless.

It is a forest of

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Challenge #04335-K317: Essential to the Family

Some have many wives, I have many husbands. We are very happy together and we don't care what anyone else says. So bugger off. -- The New Guy

The old joke goes that you need a polycule just to survive in this economy. It's funny because it's true. You would not believe how much we save by buying in bulk and pooling our incomes.

As for sleeping arrangements - that's none of your diddly-dang business. All you need to know is that

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Challenge #04334-K316: Mourning is Broken

They set a flower upon the ground before a stone. When asked, they stated they were an orphan. But how could they be one if their parents raised them? Just because they were now an adult did not mean they were not their family's child. Looking sorrowfully upon the asker, they stated, their voice straining with pain. "In the end, almost all of us will end up orphans one day." -- Anon Guest

Lorin stared at the names on the memorial. How

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Challenge #04297-K279: Hottest Singles...

::smacking computer:: Stop showing me nsfw ads! I know there’s desperate [SLURS] in my area!

I HAVE A MIRROR! -- Anon Guest

Techie Darins opened the latest alert from Systems Advertising Systems (inc), specifically a complaint from the Social Video subsidiary.

Dear content creator, the forwarded automail said, Your uploaded video has been demonetised owing to issues with your script text file. Our automatic systems have detected problematic phraseology. While this remains an issue, you will not be receiving financial income

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Challenge #04177-K159: Tough to Swallow

A person was given powerful painkillers when they got hurt. Later, they were taking calming drugs, regularly, during therapy. Unfortunately, they became addicted to both. The ones that prescribed the medications now had to help the person to be weaned off of them.

(( Note - one of the big reasons there was a major addiction to drugs like oxycontin and other painkillers is due to them being over-prescribed, sadly.)) -- Anon Guest

[AN: No worries, OP, I have witnessed several "miracle drugs"

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Challenge #04019-K001: Careful Scrutiny

What looks like an ordinary cat is sitting on the slightly crumpled lip of a garage awning. However, those that can see through the illusion realizes it's a young dragon watching the humans quietly. -- Anon Guest

As far as domestic cats were concerned, this one was a bruiser. Larger than the average housecat, and clearly a shorthair. It was also clearly nestled on a bent portion of roof. Some humorous images could circulate if anyone paid attention to it.

In this

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Challenge #04001-J349: Weirdest Roommate Ever

A: So I’ve got a spider in my apartment…

B: Spiders are actually good, just leave them alone.

A: Wait, really?

B: Yeah, they eat other pest, so it’s better to keep them around.

6-feet spider: I αɱ αʅʅ ƚԋαƚ ʂƚαɳԃʂ Ⴆҽƚɯҽҽɳ ყσυ αɳԃ ɾσαƈԋҽʂ Jσʂҽρԋ. Yσυ ƈԋσʂҽɳ ɯιʂҽʅყ ƚσ υρԋσʅԃ συɾ αʅʅιαɳƈҽ, ɱყ ϝɾιҽɳԃ.

If you can't read the glitch texts it said "I am all that stand between you and the roaches Joseph. You have chosen wisely to

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Challenge #03929-J277: Typical Tabletop Talk

P: “Calcium is a metal right?”

DM: “Right…”

P: “Ergo it’s affected by heat metal”

DM: “go on…”

P: “I cast heat metal on his skeleton”

DM: “… f*<£ it I’ll allow it”

[several turns later]

“As the evil wizard succumbs to his wounds, with his final breath,

He summons a Rust Devil” -- Anon Guest

"Wait. What?"

"Rust. Devil. An infernal variant of the rust monster." The DM at the table, Yaz, grinned. She was radiating smugness. "They have

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Challenge #03922-J270: Sole Area of Genius

"How often do we have to go through this? I love you, you silly furball, but do NOT try sniff at my cactus! I don't HAVE any shelves higher and I'm tired of pulling thorns from your nose!" -- Anon Guest

Some cats, every cat person knows, reserve their brain cells for specific purposes. When it comes to that specific area of expertise, they're absolute little fluffy geniuses. For everything else... their brains may well be made of sawdust.

Case in point,

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Challenge #03824-J172: Bros Helping Bros

A: I wish someone would take me out

B: on a date or with a gun? -- Anon Guest

[AN: Offensensitivity warning for self-harm talk]

The silence between them was far too long as Milo thought about it. So long that Damian looked over to his friend in growing concern.

"Dude, that was meant to be a joke."

"I mean... possibly?" said Milo, still frowning in thought. "But also taking it seriously is making me realise I'm in a fuckin' terrible place.

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Challenge #03805-J153: Got 'Em!

Power goes out, kids are whining about having nothing to do. And whine even louder when the parental says, "Well, at least we have books." -- Anon Guest

Rennie took three deep breaths as Kody and Vince continued their howling. Of course, being forced to do reading was tantamount to homework and therefore the worst torture in the world.

"The other option is housework," said Rennie, immediately calming the boys down about their immediate future. "We can make it fun."

Kody and

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