Just Add Prompt

A 4936-post collection

Even a God/dess needs sustenance.

A (literal, not figurative) God/dess, fallen on hard times, forced to work 9-to-5 to make a living, in the absence of offerings et cetera. And how the lowly mortals around them feel about it.

Make it as light-hearted or dark, as uplifting or Schadenfreudic(?) as you please. – RecklessPrudence

(#00424 - A049)

[AN: Considering that 99.99999% of Gods are arseholes…]

Grace tried to hurry past the street market. Goddamn hippies were bad enough, but now there were goddamn foreign hippies selling all kinds of weird foreign muck. All in their hemp shirts and in a haze of whacky ‘baccy and crystals and assorted bullshit.

They were everywhere.

And half of them spoke some damn foreign lingo.

All she wanted was to get some beers for the boys at the 7-11. Not trip over damn foreign hippies and their weirdo bullshit every day. And some even tried to talk her into sampling some.

Honestly. You go out once a Sunday to spread the Good Word of the Lord, and everyone takes that as licence to be an asshole for the rest of the week.

There was another one in the 7-11. Buying up armloads of cheap munchies and chatting with the damned foreigner staff.

Grace got her cases of beer and, juggling them in either arm and wrestling her trolley behind her, made her way up to the counter where the hippie was counting out coins.

He was a nickel short.

Grace glared at him. At his weatherbeaten sandals, his worn-out jeans and threadbare shirt. At the calloused hands and the T-square tucked into his worn, rope belt. At the long hair and scraggly beard. At the dark brown skin and too-big nose.

She half expected him to have a damned-foreigner accent so thick you could build out of it. But instead, he spoke perfect English. “I’m very sorry about this. Would you have a nickel to spare? I guarantee it’s for a good cause.”

“Get a job, hippie,” she growled. One keg on the counter. “I GOT TWO OF THESE, SANCHEZ! TWOOOOOOOO!” She put the other one in the trolley. “RING ME UP FOR TWWWOOOOOOOO!”

“I am serving this customer, ma'am. Please to be patient?”

Grace puffed. “It’s hot. I’m in a hurry. The boys need their beers. Can’t you just bend your pissant rules once and ring me up. I ain’t gonna come back if you make me wait hours for two cases of beer.”

“Promises, promises,” muttered Sanchez. They were all called Sanchez or Diego or Juan. Whatever happened to good, honest, Christian names like Matthew or John?

The hippie searched his pockets. “I could have sworn I had that nickel…”

“What’s the matter, hippie? Your drum circle got the munchies?” Grace growled.

“No. I’m doing a bun run for the shelter down the street. And FYI? I have a job. I’m a carpenter. Just like one of my Dads.”

“Fuck. A fucking gay hippie.”

“Adopted, thank you. I just happen to have a good relationship with the man who fathered me and the man who raised me.” More digging around in his pockets. “Not one coin for Christian charity?”

Grace slapped the notes on the counter and shoved  the other case into her trolley. “I got better things to do with my time than wait around for some bum to find a coin.”

*

Max watched her go. “Good riddance to bad rubbish, eh?”

“There’s that nickel,” Jesus pulled it out of thin air. He shook his head. “How did I go so wrong?”

Max shrugged. “You didn’t write it all down, straight away, I reckon. You want someone to know exactly what you said? You gotta be specific. You gotta get it writ down. That’s why everyone remembers the Leviticus and nobody remembers the Love Your Neighbour.” He rang up the bread rolls and tuna. “You can really feed everyone with this lot?”

“I’ve done more with less,” Jesus smiled. He looked out the shop windows in the direction the woman had gone. “All this time in what they call my Father’s country, and not one of them recognises me…”

Max bagged the purchases before ringing up the beers for the books. “Keep up the hope, eh? I recognised you.”

“May one become many,” Jesus joked. “Better days to come.”

“See ya around. And say 'hi’ to Gautama for me.”

Max stuffed the angry woman’s change into the tip jar. He kept wondering what it was like to not see the divine figures one worshipped. What it could possibly be like to miss seeing all the angels in their midst.

Some folks were just born blind, he guessed.

[Muse food remaining: 40. Submit a prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories!]

Romantic vs Classicist*

A seemingly eternal argument between some friends and I.

*As defined by a philosophy student who was party to some of them - he later admitted he got the definitions from ‘Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance’.

“Form follows Function. A well-built machine, designed to last decades if not longer, has a quiet craftsmanship, an economical beauty, which no amount of pointless frippery or gilding - or, indeed, curved plastic - can ever match.”

“But much

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Pugs.

Because you can’t say Peter Lorre and not get my attention.  Something to do with an Uplifted pug or pugs.  Possibly freaking everyone out with their good intentions couched in their minion-ish voices. – weirdlet

(#00422 - A047)

Buddy, Igor knew, was not the best dog for the negotiations table. Buddy would literally say ‘yes’ to anything, provided someone was scratching his ear.

Igor… tried.

He had Buddy fitted up with the Diminished Responsibility locator bracelets, of

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Challenge #00421 - A046: A Peculiar, Yet Typical Argument

If no-one from the future comes back to stop you, is it really that bad an idea?

“Yes it is,” said Rael, gently shoving Ambassador Shayde onwards. “Especially when time travel is a theoretical impossibility trapped in the realms of science fiction.”

“They said tha’ about goin’ tae the moon. Now look at it.”

“That’s not the point and you know it.”

“Ach, why’d ye have tae

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Lady slings the booze.

It’s been shown that Mystique (in her comic incarnation, at least), when her ability to focus is sufficiently thrown-off by illness, drugs, emotional shock, or othersuch concentration breakers, that her ability to shapeshift is disrupted, to the point that she can’t maintain a form, often shifting uncontrollably/unconsciously or even sporting features from multiple recently-assumed forms at once in a Picasso-esque jigsaw.  Once I learned about that, I couldn’t help but wonder just what sort of

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Challenge #00419 - A044: So Long, Lefty Loosey

It turned out the galactic standard for things that screw onto other things was the opposite direction to the international Earth standard.

“What the– this screw isn’t turning.”

“It’s an old-Earth vessel.”

“Yeah? So?”

“They have it backwards. Counter-clockwise loosens their screws.”

Sigh. “Typical human insanity. How hard is it to learn ‘Counter time, fix it fine’?”

“Given the trouble they keep giving us

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Challenge #00409 - A044: Intergalactic Ambassador Spot

“We’re here to conquer yo-

Awww lookit the cute little fuzzy. Whooosa fuzzy.”

Sir, the aliens seem to have become distracted.

Only humans, they later said, could take a pursuit predator and make it completely servile. And for some time in the Galactic Alliance, it was something of a mystery as to where and when dogs originally hailed from.

Some refused to believe that such a useful animal could come from the same planet as “a bunch

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Challenge #00408 - A043: Releasing Pressure

Carbonated drinks: for most creatures, a harmless fizzy beverage.

However if your species happens to be incapable of burping to release the gas, a painful experience. Perhaps not deadly, but certainly not comfortable. 

Gox stared at the beverage. At the perpetual bubbles within. In his experience, bubbles came out and never came back.

This was one amongst the many new things he was dubious about encountering as a reluctant ambassador.

“Why do the bubbles form?”

“It’s a

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Challenge #00407 - A042: Temptrotica's Big Test

Aaand another one

http://callmegallifreya.tumblr.com/post/73660380194/littlemissmochablue-lalonde-strider-i-want-a

[AN: I would consider it a courtesy that the original poster of these ideas is notified that said idea has become a thing. I can’t always do so myself]

Life was generally easy for a succubus. For starters, she never had to go hungry, so long as there were MRAs in the world.

It usually went like this:

1) Find the nearest neck-beard with a trilby on his head who

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Challenge #00406 - A041: One Sad Afternoon on a Street Corner of NuFurria

Found another one

http://deathcomes4u.tumblr.com/post/73661805922/buggy-heichou-rotking-johnthedragon

Walking was a problem. And it was a problem because of Boxing.

When an owner got tired of their Uplift, or the cute Bull-Terrier/Wolf pup became too big, or it chewed the furniture or peed on things or otherwise acted like a dog who the owner hadn’t bothered to train… they were put in a box, and left on a corner, and told to wait for someone to

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Challenge #00405 - A040: The Most Important Lessons

Fairytales don’t tell children that dragons exist. Children already know this instinctively. Fairytales tell children that dragons can be killed. - G K Chesterton, with some posthumous turning of phrase by others. –RecklessPrudence

Mom found her literally up to her neck in the archives. Books held her place in other books. Notes hung out of yet more books like exhausted, multiple tongues.

“It’s getting late,” she said.

Danny looked up. Then around herself. “Uhm.

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Ever met someone you feel like this about?

“The first time I saw them, I don’t know, I just wanted to kick their arse. I wanted to build a machine to kick their arse. I wanted to found an empire to house the machine to kick their arse!” – RecklessPrudence

(#00404 - A039)

Rael briefly considered the effort that all that would take. “So… you think you may be in love with Hwell Barrow?”

She boggled at him. “Ye think I swallowed

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Challenge #00403 - A038: Come Fly With Me

“If you’re falling off a cliff you may as well try to fly, you’ve got nothing to lose.” - John Sheridan (Babylon 5) c/- RecklessPrudence

Douglas Adams once said that flying is the art of throwing oneself at the ground and missing. J. M. Barrie thought that flight required pixie dust and happy thoughts.

The truth is far more complicated. Especially when traveling at terminal velocity towards impending doom.

“Can’t you shadow-jump

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Challenge #00402 - A037: First Resort of Fools

Ahh, the eternal paradox: A quick wit is best accompanied by quick reflexes, but a dull wit is best complemented by a sharp blade. – RecklessPrudence

“Ey up. Here’s trouble.”

Rael followed her line of sight. There were two of them. A big, burly lump of a biped who, because he wore grey clothes meant to wear hard, had to be the enforcement. Accompanying the cogniscent mountain was a smaller, lither being who, despite being reptilian, could only

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Challenge #00401 - A036: Assistant's Assistance

Once nonhuman Terran species were uplifted into greater levels of sentience, the concept of ‘service animal’ changed a great deal.  (I wanna see how that concept would apply to sentient nonhuman Terran species..  Like, a blind sentient cat with a seeing-eye ferret or something - you get the gist)

Augments were legal. Uplifts were not. Especially not Uplifts like the unfortunate populations teeming about Nufurria.

They existed, and because they existed, the Galactic Alliance had to help them. No cogniscent

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