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Response to "The Fright of a Lifetime" (1)

Oblina tries her hand at scaring Helga, but studies her first. Recognizes her interaction with Arnold from her time in Dr. Buzzcut’s Human Suit. Take it from there!

(#00726 - A361)

The view from the gutter was not wide, but it was educational. Oblina had long since learned to recognise the human by her shoes.

She had somehow suspected that Dr Buzz Kutt’s theories had been in error, but there was living confirmation. She could see and hear Helga verbally abusing a boy and, the second he was out of earshot, turning around and waxing lyrical about how much she was in love with the human.

Human love was crazy.

But it broke her heart to hear it. A girl who thought she was monstrous, scared to leave herself vulnerable to anyone. Afraid to have a softer side because the world was so cruel.

Oblina couldn’t help herself. “Try telling him anonymously,” she said.

*

Helga reacted, jumping up and looking around. “I’LL KILL ANYONE WHO SAYS ANYTHING!” But her fists were primed with no target in sight. She slumped back down. “Great. Now I’m hearing voices.”

“At least it’s good advice,” whispered the voice.

She sighed. “Shows what you know. It’ll end badly. Everything ends badly. I never get anything I deserve.”

“So you fail before you try? That doesn’t make sense.”

“Whatever.” Helga got up again and slouched away. Even the voice in her head didn’t understand… Everything good went to her prettier sisters. And so would Arnold.

But still… an anonymous note. It wouldn’t hurt. Something a lot more subtle than the lurid poetry that they’d found and laughed at.

Two days later, Arnold found a construction paper heart in his locker. It had the words, “I love you, but you won’t look at me.” in neat, anonymous printing.

And she heard how bad it must be for that person, thinking that he couldn’t love them back.

The next day, she left another. This time, it said, “You can’t love Ugly.”

And she heard how Arnold thought nobody was ugly. Not even her.

The day after that, she left a third. “If you really believe in love, meet me under the Big Oak after school. Come alone.”

And she got detention. So she was running late for the meeting in the pouring rain with her sister’s big yellow umbrella.

Please, please, please

He was still there. Huddled in the shelter of the tree with his coat over his head. Splashed by the mud from passing cars.

She added him to the shelter of her umbrella. “You OK, football-head?”

“Thought I could help somebody. Guess it was a prank.”

“Maybe they got scared. Maybe they got detention. Maybe…” She scrunched up her eyes. Took a deep breath. Bit the bullet. “Maybe she’s right here.”

“…helga?”

“Yeah, go ahead and laugh. I’m almost used to it anyway.”

“That book full of poetry was yours, wasn’t it?”

She dared look at him. He wasn’t judging her. He wasn’t being cruel. He was just asking. “So what if it was. I heard you laughing at it.”

“Gerald did most of the laughing. I was trying to get him to at least tone it down. That stuff was… real. I could tell whoever wrote it… I could tell you were hurting.”

Helga found that her eyes were stinging. “I’m not crying,” she croaked. “Got some rain in my face.”

“It’s okay.” His hand joined hers on the umbrella handle. “You’re allowed to feel things.”

Illogical tears with a crooked smile. “We met under an umbrella. You were the only person in the world who ever gave a fig about me. And all I could do was snap at you.”

“it’s okay. What you get from people is all you know how to give back.” He smiled for her. “I could show you? Being nice isn’t that hard.”

“Being nice makes me invisible.”

I see you, Helga,” soothed Arnold. “I always see you.”

It rained hard, all the way home. She, too, got splashed with mud. But all of a sudden, it didn’t matter. There was no cold. There was no rain. Just his warmth and the sunshine of his smile.

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One person's trash...

Arizona pyrope garnets occur in a remote section of the Navajo Nation in Arizona. The gems have never been mined commercially because there aren’t enough of them.  The entire world supply of these gems depends on those living nearby who collect a few stones after the occasional rainstorm and trade them at local stores.

This gem is most commonly called “ant-hill garnet” because they are “mined” by ants. Ants find the garnets while digging their anthills, drag them out, and discard

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Challenge #00724 - A359: Technobabble

From a forum conversation on technobabble: “we’re running low on pixie dust and the containment breach can’t hold any more rabbits so the ship is going to explode from thermal expansion and kill us all”

Responded to with: “Pfft, everyone knows pixie dust is self-containing.”

They called it the Ark.

“So… you got all the StarMetal that was ever made, and turned it into… this?”

“There’s also magically re-enforced Dweomer Steel. It’

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Dragons need better PR agents.

“Hmrph… but that’s how it always is, isn’t it? Just because they have so many prolific bards and scholars in their employ, they think they get the rights to dictate how everyone else is seen by the future generations - they don’t even TRY to ask my opinion… I’ve got scales on my butt older than their eldest king, and they still think they know more about my kind than I do… Humans are utter idiots.”

Catlike,

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Challenge #00722 - A357: Food That Sings

http://callmegallifreya.tumblr.com/post/104613467865/the-magical-crawdad-mmolio-funkocide

“asexual sirens getting real fuckin pissed about all these sailors interrupting choir rehearsal”

“sirens are already asexual they dont have sex with the men they kill them”

“well no wonder they kill them they keep interrupting choir rehearsal”

“Asexual mermaids being really pleased when an asexual sailor begins singing baritone counterpoint.”

They usually didn’t pay attention to the wooden things that floated on top of their

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"Did you hear the one about the two humans?"

What if the majority (or at least a statistically-notable percentage) of the Galactic Community had mating seasons, like most animals do, so that as a result, with humanity’s decidedly non-seasonal “anytime and anywhere” sexual biology, we’re the butt of a million planets’ cheezy and/or stereotype-based dirty jokes…

[AN: Trigger warning: rape mention]

(#00721 - A356)

Of course, humans supplied some of them. Nothing cycles around quicker than a recycled joke.

“How many humans does it take to screw

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Challenge #00720 - A355: The Abomination

“SPACE IT!” “BURN IT!” “We’ll compromise. LAUNCH IT INTO THE SUN!”

“What is it?” asked M'ri.

“I think it’s a human artefact,” Chobb turned the object over in her hands. It was roughly spherical, and featured false fur in lurid colours. There were comical parodies of eyes above a birdlike pointed beak. Yet it had mammalian ears and ducklike feet. “I think it might be a platypus

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Challenge #00719 - A354: Divinity Proclivity

I am not the god of reason and understanding, I am the GOD OF THUNDER AND LIGHTNING -Thor

The halo was a dead give-away, really. Something about a God in mortal form made a visible aura of light a definite thing.

May ran through ever possible conversation gambit in her head and finished up with, “So you’re a God, then.”

“Not a capital-G god,” said the divinity. “Not any more. Not enough followers, you see.

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Challenge #00718 - A353: One Afternoon in a High School Classroom

“The Mongols sent diplomatic caravans to establish an alliance with them, and they responded by massacring them. Twice. Subsequently the region’s population dropped by 90% or so for some reason.”

[AN: My internet is a sack of suck at the moment, so I’m doing the most recent prompt. My apologies to those who were waiting for their prompt to turn up. I will find a way to get to your prompt]

“Whoah, whoah, whoah…”

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Challenge #00717 - A352: Pre-Luddite

The first cyborg hate crime probably happened around the time the first peg leg was ripped off with malice aforethought.

“Ereb… ka… heb…” Lynn dutifully wrote down the hieroglyphs and checked the translations. Her quest for extra credit had her translating old manuscripts that had been collected from, apparently, the dawn of time.

This was an ancient form of writing, from the super-early period of Egyptian civilisation, so translation was especially tricky.

She stretched the kinks out

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Challenge #00716 - A351: As the Station Turns

Aliens of all kind discover Soap Operas, have fun with the adaptations and scripts and of course the fans. — knitnan

Serialised drama is nothing new. The fact that it invaded the known universe before the humans made themselves known is the only thing from stopping the accusing finger pointing at those dangerous primates. And there is a legend that some baffling ancient alien went around the universe and introduced infant species to the concept. But some people will say anything…

Even the

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Challenge #00715 - A350: The Truth is Out There

Assume the plane in prompt 00691 - A326 is the missing Malaysia Airlines plane, or another mysteriously vanishing flight. It finally lands on the planet and the pilots try to flag down a passerby to ask for directions home.

25th of May, 2003.

As soon as they were out of range, a party broke out on board.

“We did it!”

“WOO!”

“We got our own goddamn JET!”

Shrieks and whoops and general celebration lasted all of

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Challenge #00714 - A349: One Thing in Common

Video Prompt!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4dT8FJ2GE0

6 people singing an Icelandic hymn in a German train station with excellent acoustics.

If there was one phrase Rael learned to dread, it was any variation on, “Let me get my axe,” from Ambassador Shayde. On one hand, it meant something historical was going to happen. On the other hand, it meant that she would gather crowds.

And there was always at least one who thought he was part of

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Sonic Rainbows

Neil Harbisson’s TED Talk “I Listen to Colors” (I recommend checking it out first) is what inspired this submission idea, as did the phenomenon of synaesthesia.  What if, somewhere in your Amalgam Universe, there was an alien race out there for whom normal perceptions of color and sound were not like humans, but color and sound were interrelated - fashion was chosen for how it sounded rather than how it looked, portraits were heard symphonies, and music and speeches could be

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Challenge #00712 - A347: Jinge Bells, Santa Smells

Santa’s elves go union!

“Two! Four! Six! Eight! Hear us, Kringle, we can wait!” The chant filtered through the stained glass windows of the Head Office.

Kris Kringle, aka Santa Claus, aka The Jolly Elf of the North, was not that jolly. He was perspiring, despite the cold, and highly nervous. He cleared his throat seventeen times before he put his foot in his mouth with, “And what do you want for Christmas, little boy?”

The elves

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