Just Add Prompt

A 4964-post collection

Challenge #00962-B231: Just Like Bricks Don't

On the training plane for the Space Shuttle, the gearshift had three setitings: “fly like a plane”, “fly like a brick”, and “fly like the shuttle”. Please note that “brick” was used as an intermediate step between “plane” and “shuttle”

(Prompt from RecklessPrudence on Tumblr)

"Now this," said the human in the tones of someone sharing something delightful, "is old school."

"It looks like a simple re-entry vehicle," Tarb'nathad tapped a wing. "Primitive, yet effective."

"You have 'primitive' right," Kanta, too, had to touch the vehicle. "Ablative ceramic tiles to withstand re-entry. Cable-dependent steering system. No navigational shielding at all. No COL systems."

"No Controlled Operational Levitation? How did they get it into space?"

"They strapped it to a rocket. Vertical launch on several tons of burning hydrogen." Kanta mimed take-off with associated noises.

Tarb'nathad boggled at her, her own feathers fluffing in alarm as she clearly pictured the potential for disaster. "And you survived this stage in your development?"

Kanta gestured to herself. "Dur..."

"You're going to want to escape in this, aren't you?"

"Well..." Kanta allowed, "it's not like anything else isn't guarded. We're only here because they think this thing is inoperable, unpilotable, and unhealthy."

"Is it?"

"Only if you haven't studied it," Kanta cracked her knuckles. "And you're lucky that I'm a history buff."

Tarb'nathad groaned under her breath. This was going to be an entirely human escape. Dangerous, deadly, and damn-near suicidal... and yet, also ridiculously successful. "Shall I take my calm pills now, or wait until you do something life risking?"

"Aaaah, you only need to panic when I shift it into 'fly like a brick' mode."

She wisely reached for her medication.

(Muse food remaining: 23. Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories! Or comment below!)

Challenge #00961-B230: One Gloomy Evening in a Dimly-lit Tavern

Person #1: Everyone knows there are no female dwarves because dwarves reproduce through beards, stone, and beer. :p

Person #2: No, somewhere deep in the mine lies the Dorf Queen. Whale-sized, eyeless, telepathically controlling the entire dwarf species and continuously giving birth to new “drones.”

Person #3: This also explains why dwarves all act the same. They’re just appendages of the same collective mind. Which is an aggressive alcoholic miner for some reason.

(Prompt from RecklessPrudence on Tumblr)

Jolli Eskutrebe kept

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Challenge #00960-B229: One Stormy Evening in a Former Enemy's Tool Closet

“What, that? That’s a sword that shoots lightning. That one’s a giant walking disco ball that shoots lightning. That guy’s Albert Einstein shooting lightning. Look, just assume that everything shoots lightning, ok?”

(for context, Google Privateer Press’s miniatures Game Warmachine, specifically the Cygnar faction)

"I'm detecting something of a theme," rumbled Wulfenbach.

"Well, when you conquer the self-declared Lightning Lads, you can expect a little thematic monotony, my Lord."

Wulfenbach rolled his eyes. "Feh. I've seen someone make

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Challenge #00959-B228: Slight Technical Hitch

People’s relation to tech has not changed:

On two occasions I have been asked,—"Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?“ In one case a member of the Upper, and in the other a member of the Lower, House put this question. I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question. - Charles Babbage

(Prompt from recklessprudence on Tumblr)

"HA! That's

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Challenge #00958-B227: Mortal Mutant Powers

(I’ve had this prompt for ages. I have to use it now, because they’re finally starting to make plugs and ports that this doesn’t matter for)

USB connectors are at least 4-dimensional. Proof: a connector doesn’t fit. You turn it 180 degrees and it still doesn’t fit. after a THIRD 180 degree turn it now does.

(prompt from RecklessPrudence on Tumblr)

Tambry had no idea why she'd gathered a crowd. All she'd done was hook up her

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Challenge #00957-B226: Obligatory Baby Adventure

http://outofcontextdnd.tumblr.com/post/127351161618

“Dwarven baby sleeps like anvil. Wait shit, that is anvil. Where is baby?”

Hroogar the Mighty removed the swaddling to make certain. Yes. It was the actual anvil that she used for the head of her war-hammer. The handle lay innocently right next to Nagdar the Sorcerer’s staff, where it would get looked over by the casual eye.

Hroogar breathed deeply and slowly, lest she fly into a berserker rage and lay waste to everything

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Challenge #00956-B225: Convoluted Jones

“[Name]? What are you doing here?”

“It’s a long story. I have a tank.”

“I kind of noticed by the way you shelled the bad guys and then drove it through the wall, Jones. One, how the flakk did you get your hands on a pre-Shattering Terran tank, and two: how the flakk did you find live ammo for it?”

“That’s… another long story. Better told inside. It’s noisy, but there’s headsets. And you can take over

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Challenge #00955-B224: Minnie Mighty

I don’t want my obituary to read ‘saved the world and was then eaten by a small dog.’

Life’s fun when your entire life runs on pure mutant bullshittium. Hi. My name’s Minnie and I have the power to shrink.

Yeah wow what a wonderful power. I can get small.

I
can hear you thinking that from here. Let me tell you a thing. I also have a little bit of a corollary. The smaller I get, the denser,

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Challenge #00954-B223: Careful How You Wish...

(Discussing being granted superpowers, Person #2 doesn’t want them)
Person #1: I’m sorry, but whether you want to or not… this is something that is going to happen. The next time you fall asleep-
Person #2: Then I just. /Won’t/. Sleep.
Person #3 (Full of cheerful sarcasm): That sounds like a solid long-term plan!

Irde glared at Bianca. “No. No. This isn’t a solid wish.”

“You did use the words ‘I wish’, said the Djinn. What she had

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Challenge #00953-B222: Millie the Conquerer

Well, I don’t think she ever seriously wanted the city. She conquered it as a stop-gap mechanism.

The line had to be drawn, somewhere, and Millie initially drew it with arsenic in Lord Pemberhall’s snuff. The man had been planning to raze her neighbourhood to put in a park, after all. He didn’t give a fig about where the people who lived there went, or if they lived or died.

Unfortunately, Pemberhall’s heirs immediately began bickering, and when

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Challenge #00952-B221: Innovative Resource Management

They outsourced a surprising amount of their ship building (that is, they had a habit of using ships captured in battle).

People think low-gravvers are weak. Let me tell you something. A deathworlder adapted to a low-G environment is still a deathworlder.

And when there’s a hive of them in chained asteroids… you do not throw rocks at the nest.

I saw it from a safe distance and under a definite amnesty. I’m not stupid enough to cross with

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Challenge #00951-B220: Pacifying Maneuvres

We haven’t checked other species yet, but it seems to be almost universal in humans that we can’t help but at least smile, and often begin laughing, when we see a giggly baby.

The Havenworlders retreated behind their safety shields as various human factions began raising their voices.

Shayde, somehow, broke out a gigantic cup of popcorn. She masticated whilst grinning.

Someone, somewhere, pressed a brightly-coloured button.

Starting at the main viewer, every screen in the Ambassadorial Meet became dominated

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Challenge #00950-B219: Sailor Fey

Grab another one!

http://thepreciousthing.tumblr.com/post/121702150607/finding-flight-okay-but-imagine-a-medieval

Most sailors feared to go near the Siren Pass. Beyond, they whispered, were shores of gold where the waves broke with pearls and gems as sea foam. Where untold riches and wealth awaited for anyone who could actually survive the pass. Here, there be mermaids. They decorate the rocks with foolhardy sailors who chance too close and fall victim to their song. Their bones, anyway. All of them picked clean and bleached

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Challenge #00949-B218: To Boldly Bed...

Turns out humans can interbreed with almost any cogniscient species and produce viable offspring. This breaks several laws of physics, logic, and basic biology. At this point the rest of the galaxy just throws its hand up in defeat and stops trying to figure out how they do the things they do.

[AN: I have had it since Amalgam’s inception that Humans can’t spread
their genes around the cosmos like that. Ergo, this has to be Star Trek]

Admiral Pavel

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Challenge #00948-B217: Death Be Not Proud

The Tale of the Good Necromancer

[AN: Have to do a rewrite since my internet is a sack of suck and I forgot to save the text when I refreshed the edit screen. Fuck my life.]

The necromancer who called herself Corviddia wore black, of course. Because some things about necromancy can not be avoided. But she made sure it was a neat and respectable black. Austere without being severe. Dark without being menacing. She wore ribbon flowers on her hat and

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