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A 4761-post collection

Challenge #00835-B104: Close Encounters of the Blurred Kind

More encounters between the spider-people and humans, pre- or post-Amity

Ten weeks prior to Amity’s re-introduction to the Galactic Alliance…

Salvage spacers tended to have short names. Monosyllabic and easy to pronounce in an emergency. So it was with Mar and Dee. Both women had longer names, but such names were exclusively on their paperwork.

“I’ve been on this hulk before,” said Dee, pointing to a conglomerated wreck in their pathfinder screen. “There’s an enormous colony of BFS on there.”

“BFS,” repeated Mar. Knowing Dee as she did, she easily guessed the first two letters. “Big Flakkin’…?”

“Spiders. Huge. The size of dogs. Saint Bernard or bigger.”

Mar side-eyed her companion. “It’d be easier to say ‘pony’.”

“True.” Dee shrugged. “On the upside, there’s these crystals that grow in there? Twenty ounces gets us a Year, minimum. They’re super-rare in the upper gravity zones.”

“Are the spiders dangerous?”

“Uuuuuuuuhhhhhh…” the call sign of impending doom. “Dunno. Never hung around long enough to find out.“

Right. Presumed dangerous until proven otherwise. Which meant the extra electrical packs. “Any Oshits?“

“No, I’ve never seen an Oshit in there.”

“Just wondering why this hulk got labelled H’nuf’ruf, is all.”

“I looked up to see one of them crawling on me.“

“Ah.”

*

Precautions taken, they split up to find the rare crystals. Though the place was, as Dee put it, full of big flakkin’ spiders, it was astonishingly free of webs. What webs there were seemed to serve a different purpose. Mar noted that some seemed designed to corral a cloud of Fhitts into a room where flies bred on filth stuck to the walls.

Mar stared at it. That’s a farm. A low-g farm for Fhitts. Lit with the very crystals that she and Dee were looking for. Though these ones were also attached to webbing.

She turned to leave, and came face-to-palps with the farmer. Mar screamed her way into a defensive posture… only to watch in frightened confusion as the spider mimicked her with four of its legs.

It took her some hours to realise that the spider was wearing clothes. Woven spider-fibres. Made into some kind of socks, and a cloak-like arrangement over the abdomen.

But that was later. After she and a spider had freed Dee.

Mar was bouncing off the walls to get away from the farmer-spider when Dee’s call came.

“Uh. I’m experiencing some technical difficulties…”

“How big is your embuggerance?”

“Door-sized. I was going after some crystals and… the spider on the other side closed the door.”

“And…?” Mar called up the mini-map on her HUD and began bouncing in Dee’s general direction.

“I’m stuck halfway through. Every time I try to make a move, the spider lunges at me.”

“Stay still and survival breaths. On my way.”

By the time she got there, it was a Scene. Four or more spiders were clustered around the right half of Dee. Aiming to startle them away, Mar bounced towards them, arms flapping, and yelling, “YAAARRRGERRONOUTOVITYARUDDYGREATLUMPS!”

The spiders only sidled a little away. One of their number waved its front legs around in the same manner that Mar used her arms.

“That wasn’t effective,” said Dee.

“Yeah. These things don’t know how to be afraid of humans.”

“Wish I knew how to be not afraid of spiders.”

“Me too.”

Mar would not leave Dee. The spiders would not let Mar take her. There was plenty of time to analyse the situation.

The spiders wore clothes and seemed to communicate by some kind of palp semaphore. With emphasis coming from their two front limbs.

Mar tried to imitate their palp-movements with her hands.

Which got instant notice from the spiders.

It was a combination of pantomime and guesswork and charades, but understanding had a seed. The spiders also valued the delicate crystals and farmed them for light.

Having humans barge in and steal some samples was… upsetting… for the spiders.

Negotiations had to break for Mar and Dee to get more air, but they returned to H’nuf’ruf with Glim lamps and adapters. And fuel.

The old engines still worked enough to run the doors. Dee pantomimed and walked the spiders through how to use the interface to add to their environment. Showed them some basic scavenging techniques. Like, for instance, bleeding just enough air out of a hulk to not set off an alarm; then using that air to fill a nearly-vacated add-on of their own.

Knowledge was worth a fortune, if you knew where to sell it.

The spiders showed them how to farm crystals in a low-g zone. And somehow, without nearly beginning to understand each other, they began to form a trade agreement.

Help us get crystals and we help you get things you need.

It would be years before any real communication was at all possible.

[Muse food remaining: 17. Submit a prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories!]

Parents just don't understand adventuring...

“You think because you killed a few dragons that you’re some kind of big man? Too big to show your elders respect? I’m your mother, I once wiped your poopy bum with my bare hands, so I’m not impressed by your antics, mister ‘vanquisher-of-armies’.  Why don’t you ever visit, or at least write now and then?”

(#00834-B103)

Hrothgar the Mighty - Conquerer of All, Ruler of
the Five Kingdoms, Dragonslayer, Master of the Mighty Voice - took off

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Challenge #00833-B102: ...Okay?

This post:

http://azzandra.tumblr.com/post/116731684146/fleshwater-matt-the-blind-cinnamon-roll

(list of weird things humans do like losing baby teeth to grow a second set, then:

“At some point, the aliens aren’t going to know anymore when we’re actually trolling them.

Us: Under certain circumstances, humans have been known to spontaneously develop the ability to breathe fire.

Alien: yeah, okay, that fits in with the other wacky bullshit you guys can do.”)

The humans walked out of the airlock, male and

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Challenge #00832-B101: Picnic in the Park

The final holiday on Earth prompt - Author’s choice as to what the human shows their friend again, but this time everything is finally perfect.

[AN: This story happens somewhere in the middle of #00830-B099]

What
bothered Rael the most about travelling the Earth with Shayde was how easily she switched languages and habits to match her environment.

For
instance, as they marched steadily and almost silently through the Australian wilderness, she was singing an ancient song. Thousands of
years old

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Challenge #00831-B100: Fun Park a la Deathworld

Holiday prompt the third! Author’s choice what the human shows their companion, as long as it goes pear-shaped

[AN: This story precedes yesterday’s]

Deathworlder entertainments are not advised for non-Deathworlders, said the Wikipedia Galactica, only the native life forms of a Deathworld can withstand even the most allegedly gentle of their entertainment vehicles. Though the Deathworlders insist that these entertainments are safe, be advised that they are only safe for Deathworlders.

Rael could easily believe, and understand those words, now.

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Challenge #00830-B099: Comfort Food

The holiday continues, introducing the friend to things like non-irradiated cheese, actual lemons, and real dumplings

It started small. Well, comparatively small. A steaming curry at a van vendor, swimming in grease and overloaded with turmeric rice.

What followed was a tour of all the places that still sold unsuitable or unexportable food. Haggis, Casu marzu, Lutefisk. Pizza cones. Powdered doughnut pancake surprise. Death By Chocolate cake.

And now it finished here.

If it wasn’t the birthplace of Unsuitable Food Eat,

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Challenge #00829-B098: You Can't Really Go Home

Well, at least the human was excited about the holiday, however ill-advised taking the trip to Earth with them was going to be…

“Thereitis, thereitis! Earth. Aw… it mostly looks the same…”

“I did tell you that it’s been five hundred years since your departure. Geographically, little has changed.”

“I’m goin’ tae stop in at Wales. Go see what’s happened tae home.”

Rael, a little more prepared, had tried to find Shayde’s ‘home’ on a map.

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Challenge #00828-B097: Homicidally Annoying

Ethics. Of all the flaws for a crew member to have, why did it have to be ethics?

Do’jii had to wonder why he was carting this human around. Sure, his actions were often in a confounding chain of cause and effect that came out with profit at the other end, but at other times…

Like this time…

It was hard to see the profit at the other end.

“Let me understand the chain of events,” began Do’jii.

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Challenge #00827-B096: Cataclysmic Server Event

Extinction Level Events are just the real worlds way of conducting a server update.

[AN: Apologies for the lateness. I got distracted.]

“Okay, so what kind of server reboot are we looking at?”

“Rocks fall, everything dies.“

“Seriously? How are the event quests even managed for that?”

“We’re
removing most, but not all of the Saurians and replacing them with Mammals. Loads of customisation possibilities with the Evolution
quests.”

“Yahuh. And what are the event quests for the Saurians?”

“Try to

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Challenge #00826-B095: One Guaranteed Angel

(source)

[AN: Love and props to tkki
who does amazing art. Go follow them. Give them moneys. Also apologies if this counts as unauthorised reproduction. Image shows a humanoid
figure in black with a skull for a head. Clinging to one leg of the
large, black figure is the tiny white figure of a child]

Halloween.

Ghouls,
gosts, and lingerie-themed outfits ruled the streets. Az had put on a cheap rubber skull mask and pulled his hood up to hide the seam.

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Challenge #00824-B093: Living in Interesting Times

The kid of the punch-clock hero and villain couple has an interesting life.

Her parents named her Everest. Possibly out of a desire to fit in
with the ridiculous names of their gated, elitist community. She shared a
school with three Porsche’s, two Kilimanjaro’s, and at least five kids with way too many silent Q’s in their name.

She was waiting for
the very day that she was old enough to change her name to something
blandly ordinary. Like

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Challenge #00823-B092: Bad Day at the Office

A Punch-Clock Villain and Hero get married.

“Bye honey have a good day at work” “you too!”

“Muahaha I will destroy Blahtropolis!” “Not if I stop you first also here you forgot your lunch dear.”

[AN: I keep getting reminded of those old looney tunes cartoons with the punch-clock sheepdog and the wolf who looked astonishingly like Wile E. Coyote…]

“Dear… have you seen my hair thingie?”

“Didn’t you put it on the counter, last night?”

“Well if I did, it

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Challenge #00822-B091: Ordinary Super

“They all think they’re six foot tall and wearing the Superman suit”. Police officer’s explanation.

They called it God Complex, and it disconnected the mind from its pain. Like GHB, it caused harm, but it also made its victims think they could do anything. And, worse, people who took it regularly… began to gain strange powers.

Which soon became a problem for the officers.

“FREEZE!”

“Don’t shoot! I’m white!”

Officer Klein blinked. It must have been a

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Challenge #00821-B090: Super Ordinary

Just because you’re wearing the cape doesn’t mean you can fly.

[AN: Trigger warning for suicide mention and suicidal narrative]

Ellie had been clinging to life by her fingertips. The hardest question of her life before her. As well as the end of it. The question to be answered was… would anyone really care? Sure, for about ten minutes, she might be a splashy headline. For two hours, she’d be a job to clean up.

And the world

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Challenge #00820-B089: Going Viral

:Speaking of real-life, actually-happened biological warfare development:

After deployment failed, killing only five hundred million individuals before the target population began developing immunity, development started on another attempt using a different disease. Loss of containment on that one killed ten million during testing, and let the unfinished virus into the wild.

(…The twist is it was the testing of RHD (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rabbithaemorrhagicdisease) in Aussie attempts to control the rabbit population after myxy (http://en.wikipedia.org/

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