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Challenge #01376-C281: Everything? Everything!

"I'm gonna eat everything!"

"Please don't, we'll be kicked out."

"Everything." -- OohLookShiny

There is just one reaction that newcomers have when entering an Unsuitable Food restaurant. Many newcomers have come from planets founded by people with ideals. Or from planets where entire species failed to flourish. And one human settlement survived with stone-age technology, an extremely limited diet, and ritualistic cannibalism, before the Alliance found them.

Faced with the abundance of all the foods of all the Alliance in every possible, pleasing combination... those newcomers have one sentence in common.

"I want to eat everything," said Ambassador Toni. "I want to try... everything."

"Ambassador, there's two million menu options currently available for your species."

"Everything," insisted Ambassador Toni.

The Giiks are generous cooks, but they know that even a hungering human has their limits. Therefore, they prepare the Everything Sampler with sample sizes in mouthfuls. On spoons specially made for the purpose. Care and attention to detail is spent on making every mouthful a perfect miniature serving of the full-sized dish. Right down to miniature prawns in the Special Fried Rice, and the teeny-tiny sugar skull on the mouthful-sized serving of Death By Chocolate Cake. And of course, there are labels on every spoon, detailing what the sample is.

Guests attempting the Everything Sampler are informed that they are welcomed to continue where they left off. Once they have digested and rested from their previous encounter.

Humans generally make it through five hundred samples at a time. The record-keeper for humans is Ambassador Toni of Brav'nu, who managed five hundred and ten samples before a combination of exhaustion and discomfort stopped him.

The all-species record belongs to Ambassador Ayg, who, after a literal lifetime of Wave of the Future brand Faiize kibble -rationed according to work done- ate the entire platter in one sitting.

Gyiik-run restaurants are the only ones who freely guarantee all you can eat. Others tend to be wary of that offer.

(Muse food remaining: 17. Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories! Or comment below!)

Challenge #01375-C280: Needing Hands

Breathing bodies is a term for people, not necessarily qualified who can be used for tasks that free up more qualified people(@) - third hands? Well humans have only two, but some people are quite good at being a third hand when needed.(*)

(@) example "here, put your hand on this and yell if it gets hot."

(*) "Hold this steady while I tighten the coupling up." And there are times when they are invaluable. -- Knitnan

[AN: Footnotes in prompts are NOT a

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Challenge #01374-C279: Three Things They Did Wrong and One Thing They Did Right

http://khaleesijade.tumblr.com/post/150856878533/agentquinn-sepulchritude-my-fav-trope-is -- Anon Guest

Understanding humans is a difficult business. Gallusians, one of the earliest Galactic species to hire their services, know this better than most.

Kru'ku, designated companion/guide of the exploration vessel Tikavi, wrote what many consider to be the first guide centred around the proper care and handling of humans. Their work encapsulates years of research, anecdotal evidence, assumptions, and quite a large amount of wild guesses.

For a seminal work, it is

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Challenge #01372-C277: It's a Human Thing

1) Aliens being extremely confused when humans that spend any length of time in the area with the nice fashionable wallpaper become nauseous and when questioned try to explain that the patterns are moving

2) True Facts(TM) about Ghosts -- Anon Guest

[AN: This puts the gap count down to three!]

1)

The Klypt'l had done their best to be accommodating. They had refurbished any and all human artefacts into useful furniture -even comfortable furniture- for the use of their Deathworlder

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Challenge #01371-C276: One Small Difference

Dragon: Tries to kidnap a princess

Dragon: Accidentally saves a Prince from a tower

Dragon: Isn't sure what happened -- OohLookShiny

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a young Dragon in possession of a good lair, must be in want of a Princess. So it was for Ginrauth, who had not only terrorised the local Dwarfs into submitting 'donations' to his hoard, but had also found an abundance of shiny gemstones within the cavern he dug. He knew all there was

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Challenge #01370-C275: Homicidally Annoying

"Are you eating cereal? It's 8pm."

"Specific mealtimes are social constructs that have no real impact on our lives."

"Is that my cereal?"

"O-ownership is a social construct that..." -- OohLookShiny

There are drawbacks to rooming with a pseudo-intellectual. First was having to know the thesaurus just to have a conversation with them. The second was not murdering them for their constant over-corrections.

And the third...

Madrass(not his real name. He claimed it was 'more spiritual') had taken over the couch.

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Challenge #01369-C274: The Strongest of All

Based on one post in yesterday's prompt, Humans in a fantasy realm as Team Fuck It Hold My Beer I Got This. Details here. -- RecklessPrudence

Elves can see as far as an eagle, and shoot the eyes out of a fly, if it suited their fancy. Humans invented telescopes, and microscopes, and crossbows, and cannons. And the Elves thought themselves lucky that the humans turned all that deadly enginuity towards each other, and not towards other species.

Dwarves are as tough

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Challenge #01368-C273: Insane Genius

While I love Humans as Space Orcs, can we get some exploration of this theory, that humanity's 'hat' in the galaxy full of Planet of Hats that is Star Trek is that we're Doc Brown? Please note the reason Scotty's Chief Engineer of the Enterprise, as well as the Vulcan Science Academy's interactions. (Also this might explain why the multispecies Federation ships in TOS-era seem to be crewed in an almost entirely monospecies manner, what with that all-Vulcan ship in one episode,

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Challenge #01367-C272: Health and Safety

Velociraptor Incident Safety Placard. Either the scenario posited, or something else of your devising (also consider that one pedant who points out they forgot to account for leap years. Me. I'm the pedant.). -- RecklessPrudence

There were jokes that were made to be regretted. Anything with the N-word in the middle of it is a good example. But this one...

It was designed like every other safety poster in the labs. Except this one was about being a velociraptor-free workplace. And it

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Challenge #01366-C271: Mahal's Warrior

Dwarves and Gender Politics. Details here. -- RecklessPrudence

En had rather hoped to be over with this adventure by now. Certainly, the Grand City of Ghil had a need, but En was on his own timetable. Adventuring during the first trimester was generally dismissed as plausible but dangerous. And En hadn't even known he was pregnant when the Admaster of Ghil had sent him and his party on this quest.

Transgender adventuring came with a unique set of risks. And since this

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Challenge #01365-C270: Simple Message, Complex Bottle

They told us to tell you hello. Details here. Bring a box of tissues. -- RecklessPrudence

It was a constructed thing. Shr'dlu could see that much, even with a fine coating of space dust and a scattering of micrometeor damage. And it had come the long way to this particular patch of debris, floating in the eternal night.

The fact that it was large enough to be a survival pod had made Shr'dlu take it in for examination in the first place.

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Challenge #01364-C269: Here There Be Werewolves

Tidally-locked Lycanthropy Planet. Details here. -- RecklessPrudence

Rough seas, of course. Rounding the Cape to the trade winds inevitably involved rough seas. It took a good captain to deal with just that. But of course, things had to be trickier. Sailing the Cape had to be done in full daylight or not at all, because the Moon shone her full face on the southern hemisphere. Which left those dangerous lands populated entirely by werewolves.

And even with all these precautions, there was

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Challenge #01363-C268: Household? Prison?

A kitten discovers her new family expects her to sleep in the laundry at night. -- Anon Guest

Fun day! New smells. New foods. Lots of play. Lots of pets.

Then the humans, the feedme's, did something strange. The smaller ones went away first, then the big ones took her into a bare, cold room, put her down, and left. And they shut the door. And they had turned out the light.

There were crunchy-noms. And good water. And a soft thing.

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Challenge #01362-C267: Apocollapse Now

All the signs were there, amongst the storm and fire-streaked sky appeared The Four Horsemen, War, Pestilence, Famine, and Death stood ready, then one of them said, "Oh Shit! It's Them!" Enter the Other four horsepersons, those of the Apocollapse (hope I've spelt it right),and proceed to avert the Apocalypse, by infecting the big four. -- Knitnan

[AN: No you didn't, but I fixed it.]

You know the drill. Seas boiling and turning to blood. Fire in the sky. The Kraken

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Challenge #01361-C266: The Rogue's Fall

[Person 1]: It's important to face the consequences of your actions!

[Person 2]: (Leaps out of a window) -- OohLookShiny

Hwell had to admit, this did look bad. He took stock, as was his habit when he got into these snags.

Hands and feet bound, check. And not in anything fancy, either. Just regular, good old-fashioned iron cuffs and chains that hobbled his ability to run. And his captors had been so inconsiderate about the design, too. There was no easy way

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