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A 4934-post collection

Challenge #01346-C251: Purse of Holding

Like the Tardis it's 'bigger on the inside'. It can be anything carryable from a Ladies handbag (a notorious source of strange objects), to one of those pull along "granny" trailers, or whatever you like. -- Knitnan

"Here. You'll need this."

It looked like a small, leather pouch. There was some beading on it that had evidently not been designed with hard use in mind. But, it didn't feel like a small, leather pouch. It felt indefinably heavier. "What is this?"

"Bag o' holdin'," said Shayde. "They'll take yer coat, so put yer best-use stuff in tha'."

"Bag. Of holding."

"Less bufferin', more stuff-'er-in," said Shayde. "Time. Essence. Moovit."

At least she'd absorbed the fact that it was rude to go through a JOAT's pockets for them. But this new-found brevity of hers was enough to spur him into cramming all his favourites into the little pouch as fast as he could.

It did not seem to be getting full. He checked the worn and battered exterior and found no holes.

"Five," said Shayde.

Rael continued emptying tools and useful items into the pouch. Including the half-kilo of Wave of the Future brand Faiize dietary supplement that he carried in case of dire dietary emergencies.

By the time he was up to that, Shayde had said 'One'.

And then came the authorities. Intimidating goons, possibly heavyworlders, and they wore augmenting harnesses to ensure that their muscle tone remained in this lower gravity. And -he checked the settings to be certain- that their power would not be impeded if they had to make sudden, fight-like motions.

Shayde didn't have pockets. At least, not ones visible or accessible by the goons. She let them pat her down. When it was Rael's turn, she let them scan the bag (it read empty) and confiscate the coat.

These people obviously did not trust outsiders, even when they called them in to fix something.

"So explain this 'bag of holding' to me," he said, the instant they were out of earshot from the Goons.

"It's a relic from another dimension," said Shayde. "Ye remember tha' game o' mine from the vault trip, aye? Dungeons and Dragons?"

"A baffling game of co-operative storytelling and far too many rules. Yes."

"This is a thing from a place a lot like that. It'll hold way more'n it seems it should, and scanners can only measure the outside."

"Ah," he nodded. "Like your mythical TARDIS, it's bigger on the inside. Dimensionally transcendental, you said."

"Or like any old ladies' purse," Shayde shrugged. "The only difference is that wee thing can hold twenty times what it should. I've only got th' one, so no rippin' it."

That was all the warning he got that Shayde was sent to this paranoid world to steal something for their own good.

(Muse food remaining: 17. Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories! Or comment below!)

Challenge #01345-C250: Well You Took Your Time

Prompt: the hollow coconut TONK noise that can be produced by tapping the right place on top of someone's head if their mouth is open. -- Gallifreya

[AN: Grats, you got me to hit myself on the head several times]

Rael was currently being a small, blue-black dog that 'just happened' to be where this backwards colony of humans had put Ambassador Shayde.

They had evidently landed with the best technology of their launch-era, but the process of building a colony and

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Challenge #01344-C249: Blindly Winning

Lion and Connie - without Steven -- Gallifreya

Steven? Connie opened her eyes. Pink fur. Cotton-candy mane. Steven's lion. She was in the middle of a small circle of clear air, or what seemed to be clear air. The meadow and the flowers under her feet soon vanished under the eldritch shapes of the obscuring fog.

"Where's Steven?" said Connie. "Do you know?"

Lion just licked her face.

There was... a Homeworld Gem called Moonstone. She had the power to summon obscuring

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Challenge #01342-C247: The Terra Curse

1) More has been added to the post about "aliens trying to invade and being foiled by wildlife" http://sharpestscalpel.tumblr.com/post/148783332263/professorofeljay-myurbandream-jabberwockypie

2) Quick, think of a couple of characters that got made for one of these prompts and write something about them -- Gallifreya

[AN: This puts the gap count down to 4. Also, callback to this post]

1)

The first Tyrvaki colony to settle picked what they thought was a nice place. It was nice enough for

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Challenge #01341-C246: Riders of the Apocollapse

The four Horsepersons of the Apocollapse(Not a typo), ride fourth and get in each other's way. -- Knitnan

[AN: It's officially 'apocollapse' now. It's a word that's long needed to happen]

"And now... we... um..." said Absentmindedness. "Wossname. Thing. It was on the tip of my tongue..."

"Ride?" suggested Mislaying.

"YEEHAW," Distraction gunned hir engine and raced off in the first direction that appealed to hir.

Two of the remaining three started their bikes.

"Shit," said Mislaying. "I lost my keys,

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Challenge #01340-C245: The Coming Apocollapse

Want to see more of your Minor Horsepersons of the Apocollapse (No that isn't a typo). Namely Absentmindedness, Clumsiness, Distraction, and Mislaying ride out. -- Anon Guest.

[AN: Had to flip some letters around to make a word make sense]

"I know I had it, I had it just five seconds ago..." murmured Mislaying

"HEY GUYS," yelled Distraction, "IT'S A BUTTERFLY AND IT'S REALLY COOL!"

"...whoops..." Something important shattered into a million pieces. Clumsiness blushed. "...um... fuck... shit... gotta get another one.

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Challenge #01339-C244: Signed, Sealed, and Ignored

If you write a letter of complaint or ask questions by handwritten letter, the recipient is duty bound to answer. Really good way to keep "The Hired Help" aka Politicians and Bureaucrats on their toes. -- Knitnan

Dear Employee, wrote Carval Seng. Letters that started like this were never a good sign for the recipient.

Seng wrote carefully and distinctly about the lack of maintenance between elections, of how people in hir district would like to see the orange of maintenance uniforms

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Challenge #01338-C243: Inconvenience Job

The dreaded 5 minute job. Almost always guaranteed to blossom into hours of frustration and searching for the 'right' tools. -- Knitnan

Time is money. Literally. Citizens of the Galactic Alliance pay for things in increments of time. And since the humans came along, some money has names.

For unknown reasons, five Minutes is a Zac. Ten Minutes is a Bob, and Thirty Minutes is known as the Five-Minute Job.

Human nicknames will forever confuse other cogniscents.

But not those cogniscents who

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Challenge #01337-C242: Unnecessary Invention

It's not only necessity, it's wire coat hangers, paper clips, and to quote Thomas Edison, "All you need to be an inventor is Imagination and a pile of junk." -- Knitnan

[AN: Edison probably stole that line from Tesla ;) ]

Station residents called it the Labyrinth, if they knew about it at all. Every station that's been around long enough acquires a zone that fades through neglect and into an area where people who don't want to be found are wont to hide.

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Challenge #01336-C241: Humans!

"Failure is always an option" -- OohLookShiny

"Look. It was either try it, or give up and die," said Kel.

"There was still a chance for death to not be an option," argued K'niith.

"Yes. And I took it."

"I meant," sighed K'niith, "that there was a chance that did not involve your insane gravity games."

Kel folded her arms. "It's called 'parkour' and it's a form of art."

"It's suicidal insanity, is what it is, you could have broken every bone

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Challenge #01335-C240: Indomitable

"1... 2... 3..."

Crash

"Now we know it's three seconds deep!" -- OohLookShiny

Humans. The Ch'voth had been essentially using them as cannon fodder for a passage of months before they realised two things:

First - humans were extremely hard to kill.

Second - their primary method of finding answers seemed to be 'throw things at it'.

It didn't matter what the question was. They would throw things at it. The Ch'voth theorised that most of their science evolved in the same

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Challenge #01334-C239: So Unfair

School 'Pain in the Anatomy': "Well, he'll either wind up in Jail or grow up to be an Archbishop." -- Anon Guest

Life is unfair. Anyone trying to tell you different is either trying to sell you something, or is one of the people who actively make life unfair. Such are the lessons drilled into us at school. Not by the teachers, oh no. They're still trying to sell us all the ideal that hard work earns good rewards.

The lesson is

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Challenge #01333-C238: Pick of the Three

"You can have it done well. You can have it done fast. You can have it done cheap."

"Pick any two!" -- Anon Guest

"You dare talk to me like that?"

The artisan didn't look up. "I talk to everyone like that. Fast and well is not cheap. Well and cheap is not fast. Cheap and fast is not well. Is there more that needs explaining?"

"Do you know who I am?"

The artisan spared a moment to look up. She regarded

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Challenge #01332-C237: People in Glass Houses Shouldn't

Garnet vs. the PTA -- Gallifreya

[AN: Cue Harper Valley PTA :D]

Steven's first semester at school had not gone great. He was failing advanced math, and flunked right out of sharing that class with Connie at all. And on the night before the PTA meeting, Steven came home with a note.

It was not a criticism of Steven, nor of his scholastic performance. It was a criticism of the Gems and their 'unconventional' lifestyle being a reason why they should not

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Challenge #01331-C236: Epic Levels of Bullshit

I knew about this story, but I had never heard the reasoning behind having the 'roos in the simulation to begin with. Makes a lot more sense, now. -- RecklessPrudence

[AN: The real funny part was that this story was used as an example of checking your GD code before release. I heard it in one of my BInfTech lectures. Australia just seems to be a nexus of firkin weird stories. See: The Emu War (spoilers, the Emus won)]

"...and then the

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