Just Add Prompt

A 4758-post collection

Challenge #01382-C287: More Than Ductape

I needa! The perpetual cry of the (a) attempting to make/fix something. (b) Person hitting the twice a year Trade Show. -- Knitnan

Humans were amazing. Most Galactics reached the stars and harvested society for new ideas. Humans did the same, but then they warped those ideas further and made new and frightening things with them.

The most terrifying introduction to Galactic Society was ductape. Humans couldn't agree if it was 'duct tape' or 'duck tape', so Galactics compromised and made it one, universal word. Which the humans gleefully adopted.

Most humans could solve a great deal of problems with a roll of ductape and some wire. And what they couldn't solve with either of those... they had a reputation for solving with explosions.

This is the species that invented the immunoflu[1].

Therefore, Galactics are used to seeing a human approaching a problem with a roll of ductape and a chain of paperclips.

And it was some surprise to the crew of the investigatory exploration ship, The Alice[2] to see their ship's human retreat from the problem and mutter, "I need a three-eighth's gripley wrench." They stalked back in with the object in question.

Some clangs, swearing and another emergence. "Spline actuator fridget. I need a spline actuator fridget!"

The crew gathered to observe. Murmurs were exchanged concerning potential explosions. The human seemed to be happy, which was always a sign of trouble. They kept making, "Aha!" noises. Which could mean anything between, "I've found it," and "Now I've got you, you bastard."

The human emerged again. "BINGLETHRIPPER," the announced with a snap of their rubbery fingers. And then they went back in with the very human war cry of, "One of us is gonna die, and it ain't gonna be me!"

There was the inevitable muffled explosion. A cascade of metal things falling from their appointed place, including the circular one that always went off in its own direction. Then the human emerged, partially on fire, with its insult fingers raised at the problem. "GOTCHA! GOTCHA YER BASTARD! GET OUTTA THAT! HA!" They noticed their crew members. "IT'S FIXED," they said. "GOTTA GO TO SICK BAY I GOT THIS RINGING IN MY EARS AND I CAN'T HEAR A THING. OH, AND THERE'S A BIT OF A FIRE."

Humans. Can't live with them, and can't isolate them in a relatively empty area of space with heavy armaments protecting the rest of the universe from their presence.

[1] Faced with never curing the common cold, humanity tamed the virus and put it to work by spreading vaccine seeds wherever it roamed. Immunisation is no longer a matter of choice, and those against injections can acquire their immunity as naturally as they please.

[2] Other species don't always 'get' giving their vessels names, but humans insist on it. They try, and sometimes, they fail.

(Muse food remaining: 17. Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories! Or comment below!)

Challenge #01381-C286: Hell's Rowdy Neighbour

Here in Aussie high school students celebrate end of 12 years education by one week called "Schoolies" often followed by hangovers, regrets, and long explanations to parents. The Media have a field day. -- Anon Guest

The music was so loud that it was incomprehensible. The crowds were so thick that movement was next to impossible. Most of the people present weren't wearing very much at all. The air was thick with a miasma of alcohol, hormones, and a not-so-subtle tincture of

Read more »

Challenge #01380-C285: Not a Joke

And so the Princess kissed the frog, and the Prince laughed because, How did she fall for that!?! -- OohLookShiny

The Princess Orinoco glared at the Prince as he laughed so hard that he fell out of the tree he'd been hiding in.

The frog in her hands said, "He promised he'd release my family... Please forgive me."

Princess Orinoco carefully put the frog down by the pond, drew her knife, and marched over to the laughing Prince. His laughter cut short

Read more »

Challenge #01378-C283: Heavenly Host

http://callmegallifreya.tumblr.com/post/151095300715/deliverusfromsburb-gods-falling-in-love-with The god that adopts a ton of kids

1) In the beginning. Stupid mistakes, awkward moments, working out what to do and what to tell the kid

2) Later. There's a horde of them, some of them have grown up and left but there's always more that need help. -- Anon Guest

[AN: this puts the gap count down to TWO]

1)

Hestatus, God of home and hearth, used to be a minor god. And

Read more »

Challenge #01377-C282: Soul Mate Counselling

http://jupiterjames.tumblr.com/post/148863222746/

I love reading fics about OTPs having mental bonds and things like that, but they’re always so profound. It’d be so much more entertaining if they still thought like normal people. Imagine this stuff:

“You’ve had that song stuck in your head for days. It’s driving me nuts, too.”

“Why are you making a grocery list in your head while we’re having sex?”

“Is that really what you think about my

Read more »

Challenge #01376-C281: Everything? Everything!

"I'm gonna eat everything!"

"Please don't, we'll be kicked out."

"Everything." -- OohLookShiny

There is just one reaction that newcomers have when entering an Unsuitable Food restaurant. Many newcomers have come from planets founded by people with ideals. Or from planets where entire species failed to flourish. And one human settlement survived with stone-age technology, an extremely limited diet, and ritualistic cannibalism, before the Alliance found them.

Faced with the abundance of all the foods of all the Alliance in every possible,

Read more »

Challenge #01375-C280: Needing Hands

Breathing bodies is a term for people, not necessarily qualified who can be used for tasks that free up more qualified people(@) - third hands? Well humans have only two, but some people are quite good at being a third hand when needed.(*)

(@) example "here, put your hand on this and yell if it gets hot."

(*) "Hold this steady while I tighten the coupling up." And there are times when they are invaluable. -- Knitnan

[AN: Footnotes in prompts are NOT a

Read more »

Challenge #01374-C279: Three Things They Did Wrong and One Thing They Did Right

http://khaleesijade.tumblr.com/post/150856878533/agentquinn-sepulchritude-my-fav-trope-is -- Anon Guest

Understanding humans is a difficult business. Gallusians, one of the earliest Galactic species to hire their services, know this better than most.

Kru'ku, designated companion/guide of the exploration vessel Tikavi, wrote what many consider to be the first guide centred around the proper care and handling of humans. Their work encapsulates years of research, anecdotal evidence, assumptions, and quite a large amount of wild guesses.

For a seminal work, it is

Read more »

Challenge #01372-C277: It's a Human Thing

1) Aliens being extremely confused when humans that spend any length of time in the area with the nice fashionable wallpaper become nauseous and when questioned try to explain that the patterns are moving

2) True Facts(TM) about Ghosts -- Anon Guest

[AN: This puts the gap count down to three!]

1)

The Klypt'l had done their best to be accommodating. They had refurbished any and all human artefacts into useful furniture -even comfortable furniture- for the use of their Deathworlder

Read more »

Challenge #01371-C276: One Small Difference

Dragon: Tries to kidnap a princess

Dragon: Accidentally saves a Prince from a tower

Dragon: Isn't sure what happened -- OohLookShiny

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a young Dragon in possession of a good lair, must be in want of a Princess. So it was for Ginrauth, who had not only terrorised the local Dwarfs into submitting 'donations' to his hoard, but had also found an abundance of shiny gemstones within the cavern he dug. He knew all there was

Read more »

Challenge #01370-C275: Homicidally Annoying

"Are you eating cereal? It's 8pm."

"Specific mealtimes are social constructs that have no real impact on our lives."

"Is that my cereal?"

"O-ownership is a social construct that..." -- OohLookShiny

There are drawbacks to rooming with a pseudo-intellectual. First was having to know the thesaurus just to have a conversation with them. The second was not murdering them for their constant over-corrections.

And the third...

Madrass(not his real name. He claimed it was 'more spiritual') had taken over the couch.

Read more »

Challenge #01369-C274: The Strongest of All

Based on one post in yesterday's prompt, Humans in a fantasy realm as Team Fuck It Hold My Beer I Got This. Details here. -- RecklessPrudence

Elves can see as far as an eagle, and shoot the eyes out of a fly, if it suited their fancy. Humans invented telescopes, and microscopes, and crossbows, and cannons. And the Elves thought themselves lucky that the humans turned all that deadly enginuity towards each other, and not towards other species.

Dwarves are as tough

Read more »

Challenge #01368-C273: Insane Genius

While I love Humans as Space Orcs, can we get some exploration of this theory, that humanity's 'hat' in the galaxy full of Planet of Hats that is Star Trek is that we're Doc Brown? Please note the reason Scotty's Chief Engineer of the Enterprise, as well as the Vulcan Science Academy's interactions. (Also this might explain why the multispecies Federation ships in TOS-era seem to be crewed in an almost entirely monospecies manner, what with that all-Vulcan ship in one episode,

Read more »

Challenge #01367-C272: Health and Safety

Velociraptor Incident Safety Placard. Either the scenario posited, or something else of your devising (also consider that one pedant who points out they forgot to account for leap years. Me. I'm the pedant.). -- RecklessPrudence

There were jokes that were made to be regretted. Anything with the N-word in the middle of it is a good example. But this one...

It was designed like every other safety poster in the labs. Except this one was about being a velociraptor-free workplace. And it

Read more »

Challenge #01366-C271: Mahal's Warrior

Dwarves and Gender Politics. Details here. -- RecklessPrudence

En had rather hoped to be over with this adventure by now. Certainly, the Grand City of Ghil had a need, but En was on his own timetable. Adventuring during the first trimester was generally dismissed as plausible but dangerous. And En hadn't even known he was pregnant when the Admaster of Ghil had sent him and his party on this quest.

Transgender adventuring came with a unique set of risks. And since this

Read more »