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Challenge #01649-D188: What a God Wants

I was destined to be the priestess of a mad God. What they didn't tell me was that instead of slaughtering people I'd be making Him a nice cup of tea and telling him it would be all right. -- Knitnan

I'd always wondered why the High Holies of the Mad God Zhyruq selected the kind and sympathetic to be their acolytes. Every year, they chose amongst their number the trainee they found to be the kindest, most generous, and most sympathetic. And, until it was my turn, I'd wondered why.

I was terrified, of course. Those who were chosen to be the Mad God's intermediary were rarely seen again. And those that did return to the public were... hollow. Empty of their ability to care for anyone else beyond a set of simple remedies. They were prone to weeping and crying out, "I don't know! I don't know any more!" I had to fret about what could possibly do that to a gentle and kind human being.

I was shaking as I entered the Sacred Door. To the here-and-not-here realm between mortal soil and that which could bear the tread of a God. With a title like Mad God, I expected a skull and blood motif with human skin throw rugs. I expected an altar upon which I had to sacrifice myself. But when I opened my eyes...

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Challenge #01648-D187: Person Man

His wardrobe contained among other things, a mask, full body suit that looked like rubber, spandex tights, spandex briefs, lots of spandex. Custom made purple boots and, Well he called it his utility belt but there was no way they were going to touch till the bomb squad And a competent psychiatrist got there. In memory of all those Cheesy Adam West Batman episodes. -- Knitnan

Half a building had collapsed, but the good news was that it was condemned and no

Challenge #01647-D186: Bad Eggs in One Basket

[On the idea of putting two Deathworlders in the one cage you have that you think can hold them]

Yeah, I mean, it's like storing all your plutonium cores in the same spot. Can't hurt right? They'll all be contained in a reinforced area anyways... -- RecklessPrudence

It was the perfect prison. Re-enforced cerametal[1] with smooth, vertical sides. The only way in or out was through a hole in the ceiling. Which was well out of the human's reach.

The human,

Challenge #01646-D185: Two Big Tells

I've only ignored a wise and powerful being saying "are you sure you want to do that?" once in all my lives, and I regretted it for the rest of that existence. On the other hand, ignoring it from beings who may be powerful, but only think they're wise? Done that dozens of times. The trick is telling the difference. -- RecklessPrudence

Since they were at the mercy of a seemingly wise and powerful being, Holly leaned over to whisper in the

Challenge #01645-D184: Unwelcome Vistors

Federation ships may have phasers and photon torpedoes, but those are only a distraction for the real weapon: the swiss-omnitool that is the main deflector array. That thing can do anything, take out any threat. It just takes some time to be adapted to the current opponent. That's what the things everyone thinks of as weapons are for - to buy that time. -- RecklessPrudence

Throughout the galaxy, assorted species have learned one important lesson: Don't mess with the Federation. Some, like

Challenge #01644-D183: The Hero's Third Hand

"Hah! And what can you possibly do? We have already defeated the Destined Hero!"

"Not Destined, but gonna be a Hero anyway!" -- RecklessPrudence

The thief arrived in the Evil Sorcerer's tower two minutes too late. Just in time to watch the Hero Foretold breathe his last. Just in time to hear the Evil Sorcerer laugh malevolently at the sight of the unforetold corpse. There were no tears. There was no sorrow. Just a quickly-rising rage.

"The hero foretold to bring my

Challenge #01643-D182: High-level Negotiations

Do you ever get the feeling that (God/the Gods) (has/have) a plan? And you're the only one who can stop it? -- RecklessPrudence

Of all the forces of the multiverse, none is more terrifying than a being with the Gods on their side. They are unstoppable, indomitable, and irrevocable. And of all the beings in the multiverse, none are more pitiable than the ones the Gods merely use as a tool.

And when one comes against the other...

Shayde faced

Challenge #01642-D181: Reformation

(To a powerful Mage who, since the moment a cataclysmic war ended, has been attempting reforms of the - dangerous to the very fabric of the universe - way magic is taught and thought about, from some soldiers who were standing guard outside the Council chambers)

[Soldier]:"[Mage]," said one. "What the fuck?"

[Mage]: "I don't have to start another war," they said. "This is a good thing. I can go be happy somewhere else if it bothers you."

[Soldier]: "Uh," said

Challenge #01641-D180: According to Prophecy

"It wasn't because of betrayal that I sent you away. It was a matter of insurance. You needed to survive, in case this happened." -- RecklessPrudence

"Mother," said the Rogue Princess, "I'm with the Rebellion. I'm here with the army foretold to end your reign."

"I know," sighed Queen Maliss. "It was foretold. It was also foretold that we would die together if I kept you close to my heart. I know you despise me. And the things I had to do.

Challenge #01640-D179: Wonderful Things?

[Blunt summary of situation]

So your job is, as our mutual boss put it, to "swiftly unfuck this shit posthaste." Good luck. -- RecklessPrudence

It had made the news a year before Rael was recognised as a cogniscent being by the CRC and the lawsuit began to completely free him and his kind from corporate slavery. Four years into relative freedom, and the Archivaas, Forensic Analysts, and assorted science crews had finally finished scouring the area for the slightest clue. News like

Challenge #01639-D178: Unexpected Co-resident

What to do when a 'Skitty' decides Your space is a nice place to live. -- Knitnan

There was a cat sharing his sleep nook. Curled up in the crook of his knees and purring loud enough to simulate a malfunctioning cooling fan. It was the same cat that came into his domicile every evening and Cal gently but insistently shoved out of his doorway before retiring to bed.

He had no idea why this was happening to him. Some folks fed

Challenge #01638-D177: The Gone Bag

Some of us have to grab what's needed and go! What we grab is a "go bag". -- Knitnan

Officer Lyr Marken had a Go Bag, and the ability to tell what days she'd need it the most. All emergency respondents had their pack of whatever they needed for an emergency. Including a coverall variant of their usual uniform, that went on over whatever they'd worn to bed.

JOATs had the Big Box, and plenty of warning that they'd need it.

But

Challenge #01637-D176: The Last Beauty Contest

Alien species may not have the same standards of "Beauty" as us humans. Beauty contest for alien species . Maybe the Alien equivalent of the types who watch wet T shirt contests? -- Knitnan

Of all the wide and varied species in the known universe, only Humans are insane enough to judge each other based strictly on a narrow and nigh-unachievable set of aesthetics, and give people prizes for adhering to them. This has baffled the Greater Galactic Alliance, especially when some human

Challenge #01636-D175: Just in Case Heroics

Can we please have more of O'Ranges (Uplifted Nufurria large dog/wolf mix). -- Knitnan

Ambassador O'Ranges had only one really annoying habit, and that was checking in every box left by the wayside. Even if it was upside-down. Even if it was clearly empty. He would stop in his tracks, check the box, and check the area around the box. He rarely spoke, so finding out what he was looking for took a significant amount of time.

Hitchhiker/Assistant Aelki put

Challenge #01635-D174: The Most Unsuitable Food of All

Further to the "cotton candy" prompt, more empty calories of the "moment on the lips" variety. -- Anon Guest

Humans had a knack for making foods that could kill them, Rael reflected. Often within twenty consecutive servings. Not that anyone ever tried to end their lives that way, but the potential was there.

Take cheesecake, for example. And Rael often did. In one neat package, humanity had managed to encapsulate a nigh-lethal combination of fats and sugars. That should have been plenty

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A 4933-post collection

Challenge #01649-D188: What a God Wants

Challenge #01648-D187: Person Man

Challenge #01647-D186: Bad Eggs in One Basket

Challenge #01646-D185: Two Big Tells

Challenge #01645-D184: Unwelcome Vistors

Challenge #01644-D183: The Hero's Third Hand

Challenge #01643-D182: High-level Negotiations

Challenge #01642-D181: Reformation

Challenge #01641-D180: According to Prophecy

Challenge #01640-D179: Wonderful Things?

Challenge #01639-D178: Unexpected Co-resident

Challenge #01638-D177: The Gone Bag

Challenge #01637-D176: The Last Beauty Contest

Challenge #01636-D175: Just in Case Heroics

Challenge #01635-D174: The Most Unsuitable Food of All