Instant Story

They had never expected to be able to describe someone speaking as booming hesitantly, but that’s exactly what it sounded like.

The Ambassador for Gargantua was large, even for large cogniscents. He could easily intimidate a terran bear. He was all muscle and looked like he could conquer the universe.

And he was about to make his introductory speech.

“Er…” he boomed. “My name… is… Um. Grigri. Yes. Uh. I… was… an asteroid herder. I’m… very new… to. Uhm. Public speaking…”

Shayde watched as he fumbled his painful way through talking about Gargantua and what it needed in a loud, clear voice. Every ‘um’, 'er’ and painful pause. She leaned over to Rael. “Puir lamb…”

“Don’t help him,” Rael muttered.

“Aw but the puir wee thing needs a hug.”

“No. Let him speak. If you must help, applaud loudly.” He apparently thought about this and added, “After his speech.”

Shayde sighed and put on a Face. It was one of the ones she’d used to use when pretending Hackmeyer was saying something relevant. Though in the case of this Ambassador… she added a warm smile.

And when he was done, she added a little volume to the warm reception from the audience. He slunk into a desk next to her and blushed up a storm.

“Don’t be embarrassed. Ye did well.”

“THANK YOU MADAM!”

That was when she discovered that he had volume control issues.

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Humans may be rendered almost catatonic by careful scritches in the correct place - under the cranial hair, behind the ears and along the spine.

Important note: Although this technique can turn almost any human docile, 70% of the time it also makes it harder to escape, as ceasing the technique can lead to your human grabbing one of your limbs, even when partially asleep. As a human’s grip is nigh unbreakable even at rest, it is advised you use this

“I like women who are old enough to have had a little experience, and still young enough to want a little more.”

“Seriously?” said Shayde. “That’s what yer goin’ with today?”

“Oops. I thought you were older. It’s the hair. Not that there’s anything wrong with your hair. Ah crap. If I try to eat my foot, would it get less uncomfortable?”

“Ah, na. Keep diggin&

Earth is one of a very few planets with a moon large and close enough to cause full eclipses. This will change as it gradually moves further away, but until then it’d probably be something people travel to see.

The ship full of tourists was directly under the moon shadow, of course. In a few minutes, it would be, once again, able to view the spectacle.

Lots of habitable planets had moons, of course. Some had sister planets to share their

“For some reason, whenever there is any number of humans in an open enough space, with enough raw materials, something will be set on fire. And something will inevitably be produced to cook over said fire, or at least hold over it on a stick and gently smoulder if there’s nothing edible available.”

The human was handy to have around. Deathworlders thought nothing of going into places that -for example- Brookessiin like Riik were loath to tread.

This one

Bear in mind this is a language where the word for “mess about with a small object and see if it does something” also means “play the violin”

“We have three different kinds of ‘moose’ and two are spelled the same,” argued Vic.

“Things went to crap when we switched to the phonetic alphabet. The entire context-necessary spelling convention has lead to unnecessary over-explanation.”

“I don’t like all the pronouns,” grumbled Jake.

The difference between a goose and a swan: A goose will chase at the drop of a hat and proceed to peck and bruise if it gets you. A swan will only attack if threatened, but can break bones.

“That’s ridiculous,” said a student in the middle of Allegedly Quiet Reading Time.

“Do you need assistance?” asked Mr Myss, Learning Advocate.

“This is an objectionable description of avians,” protested Yokk. “It assumes the