Instant Story

Flash fiction fresh from my fingers to your mind!

Challenge #00724 - A359: Technobabble

From a forum conversation on technobabble: “we’re running low on pixie dust and the containment breach can’t hold any more rabbits so the ship is going to explode from thermal expansion and kill us all”

Responded to with: “Pfft, everyone knows pixie dust is self-containing.”

They called it the Ark.

“So… you got all the StarMetal that was ever made, and turned it into… this?”

“There’s also magically re-enforced Dweomer Steel. It’s all been turned into an alloy, and used for the plating. It’s charmed to hold together and keep the air inside.”

“Air,” repeated Jogoth the Mage.

“Well, yes,” explained Featherleaf the Crafter. “The higher up you go, the less air there is, so we need to take it with us.”

Jogoth boggled at her. “Where are you taking this… abomination to the eyes?”

“Up,” Leatherleaf chirped. “The StarMetal comes from the sky, far above the moon, right? So in order to get more, we have to get up into the sky.”

“Right. And you used all the StarMetal you could get in order to get more.” Jogoth shook her head. This was something that usually required a padded room.

“YES!” Featherleaf jumped and clapped as she grinned in enthusiasm. “StarMetal is rare because it doesn’t fall so very often, but if we get it before it can fall, we can have tons of StarMetal. Can you imagine having tons of it? The progress we can make! StarMetal vehicles! StarMetal re-inforced buildings! StarMetal everything!”

“And you’re certain you won’t die,” prompted Jogoth. “…taking all the StarMetal with you…?”

“That’s what all the wards are for. The air stays in. The dangerous things stay out. And anything that tries to impact will be slowed and then it will just stick to the outside. With the right levitation spells, we can return safely to where we started.”

“And you’ve tried this?”

“Just to the edge of the stratosphere, so far. I collected twenty ounces.”

And it took a Karat’s worth to make a StarMetal sword. “Twenty…”

Featherleaf dashed into her workspace and returned with a small box. The StarMetal inside were jagged fragments, not the rounded nodules that Jogoth was used to seeing. Nevertheless, it was several kingdom’s ransom worth of the stuff.

And she’d casually put it in a plain wooden box without a lock.

“There’s tons of it up there,” whispered Featherleaf. “Tons. The sky-band we can see through telescopes? It’s all made out of floating StarMetal mountains. And I need all the mages I can get.”

The sheer potential had her hooked. “Consider me hired.” It was insane, of course. But the potential to pay for all the cool stuff a Mage could ever  want or need. Both, belike.

[Muse food remaining: 12. Submit a promptAsk a questionBuy my stories!]

Dragons need better PR agents.

“Hmrph… but that’s how it always is, isn’t it? Just because they have so many prolific bards and scholars in their employ, they think they get the rights to dictate how everyone else is seen by the future generations - they don’t even TRY to ask my opinion… I’ve got scales on my butt older than their eldest king, and they still think they know more about my kind than I do… Humans are utter idiots.”

Catlike,

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Challenge #00722 - A357: Food That Sings

http://callmegallifreya.tumblr.com/post/104613467865/the-magical-crawdad-mmolio-funkocide

“asexual sirens getting real fuckin pissed about all these sailors interrupting choir rehearsal”

“sirens are already asexual they dont have sex with the men they kill them”

“well no wonder they kill them they keep interrupting choir rehearsal”

“Asexual mermaids being really pleased when an asexual sailor begins singing baritone counterpoint.”

They usually didn’t pay attention to the wooden things that floated on top of their

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"Did you hear the one about the two humans?"

What if the majority (or at least a statistically-notable percentage) of the Galactic Community had mating seasons, like most animals do, so that as a result, with humanity’s decidedly non-seasonal “anytime and anywhere” sexual biology, we’re the butt of a million planets’ cheezy and/or stereotype-based dirty jokes…

[AN: Trigger warning: rape mention]

(#00721 - A356)

Of course, humans supplied some of them. Nothing cycles around quicker than a recycled joke.

“How many humans does it take to screw

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Challenge #00720 - A355: The Abomination

“SPACE IT!” “BURN IT!” “We’ll compromise. LAUNCH IT INTO THE SUN!”

“What is it?” asked M'ri.

“I think it’s a human artefact,” Chobb turned the object over in her hands. It was roughly spherical, and featured false fur in lurid colours. There were comical parodies of eyes above a birdlike pointed beak. Yet it had mammalian ears and ducklike feet. “I think it might be a platypus

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Challenge #00719 - A354: Divinity Proclivity

I am not the god of reason and understanding, I am the GOD OF THUNDER AND LIGHTNING -Thor

The halo was a dead give-away, really. Something about a God in mortal form made a visible aura of light a definite thing.

May ran through ever possible conversation gambit in her head and finished up with, “So you’re a God, then.”

“Not a capital-G god,” said the divinity. “Not any more. Not enough followers, you see.

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Challenge #00718 - A353: One Afternoon in a High School Classroom

“The Mongols sent diplomatic caravans to establish an alliance with them, and they responded by massacring them. Twice. Subsequently the region’s population dropped by 90% or so for some reason.”

[AN: My internet is a sack of suck at the moment, so I’m doing the most recent prompt. My apologies to those who were waiting for their prompt to turn up. I will find a way to get to your prompt]

“Whoah, whoah, whoah…”

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Challenge #00717 - A352: Pre-Luddite

The first cyborg hate crime probably happened around the time the first peg leg was ripped off with malice aforethought.

“Ereb… ka… heb…” Lynn dutifully wrote down the hieroglyphs and checked the translations. Her quest for extra credit had her translating old manuscripts that had been collected from, apparently, the dawn of time.

This was an ancient form of writing, from the super-early period of Egyptian civilisation, so translation was especially tricky.

She stretched the kinks out

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Challenge #00716 - A351: As the Station Turns

Aliens of all kind discover Soap Operas, have fun with the adaptations and scripts and of course the fans. — knitnan

Serialised drama is nothing new. The fact that it invaded the known universe before the humans made themselves known is the only thing from stopping the accusing finger pointing at those dangerous primates. And there is a legend that some baffling ancient alien went around the universe and introduced infant species to the concept. But some people will say anything…

Even the

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Challenge #00715 - A350: The Truth is Out There

Assume the plane in prompt 00691 - A326 is the missing Malaysia Airlines plane, or another mysteriously vanishing flight. It finally lands on the planet and the pilots try to flag down a passerby to ask for directions home.

25th of May, 2003.

As soon as they were out of range, a party broke out on board.

“We did it!”

“WOO!”

“We got our own goddamn JET!”

Shrieks and whoops and general celebration lasted all of

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Challenge #00714 - A349: One Thing in Common

Video Prompt!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4dT8FJ2GE0

6 people singing an Icelandic hymn in a German train station with excellent acoustics.

If there was one phrase Rael learned to dread, it was any variation on, “Let me get my axe,” from Ambassador Shayde. On one hand, it meant something historical was going to happen. On the other hand, it meant that she would gather crowds.

And there was always at least one who thought he was part of

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Sonic Rainbows

Neil Harbisson’s TED Talk “I Listen to Colors” (I recommend checking it out first) is what inspired this submission idea, as did the phenomenon of synaesthesia.  What if, somewhere in your Amalgam Universe, there was an alien race out there for whom normal perceptions of color and sound were not like humans, but color and sound were interrelated - fashion was chosen for how it sounded rather than how it looked, portraits were heard symphonies, and music and speeches could be

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Challenge #00712 - A347: Jinge Bells, Santa Smells

Santa’s elves go union!

“Two! Four! Six! Eight! Hear us, Kringle, we can wait!” The chant filtered through the stained glass windows of the Head Office.

Kris Kringle, aka Santa Claus, aka The Jolly Elf of the North, was not that jolly. He was perspiring, despite the cold, and highly nervous. He cleared his throat seventeen times before he put his foot in his mouth with, “And what do you want for Christmas, little boy?”

The elves

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Challenge #00711 - A346: Saved!

Serial killer (real Hannibal Lechter-type) turns himself in to the authorities a sobbing wreck after months of being hounded by a pair of REALLY persistent Jehova’s Witnesses.

Every serial killer makes one big mistake, and for Kevin Leerie, that mistake was answering the door one peaceful morning to the door-to-door evangelists.

“Have you heard the good word of our lord and saviour Jesus Christ?”

“Rack off,” said Kevin, and slammed the door.

He should have pretended he

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Challenge #00710 - A345: Vicious Competition

MongoCorp runs across a rival business concern…AzTech.

Despite the near meteoric rise of MongoCorp Consolidated Business Concern, there was a rival in the South Americas. AzTech Incorporated.

They profited by a pyramid franchise scheme that sent prescribed percentages of profits to the central offices in Tacuba, and busily recruited and expanded all around them.

Their flagship products were QuetzlcoatlNet and the Obsidian Drive. The sharpest technology on the planet.

But their sacrificial employee management skills were in direct opposition to MongoCorp&

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