Humans Are Weird

A 172-post collection

Challenge #03299-I011: A Specific Punctuation Mark

It's known, now, why human women have menses, and well documented within the Alliance's medical databases about human reproduction. However, what about those early years, when they were first getting to know more about humans? When human females were having their menses, especially when it was a young female who was having hers for the first time. How hard was it for them in these early days to realize that the humans bled like this for over a week, a heavy blood loss that would have killed most other races, and yet all the humans did was gripe about cramps and want chocolate? -- Anon Guest

[AN: If you do bleed for over a week and lose enough blood to give medical concerns, please consult your medical technician and DO NOT let them pass it off because those are both signs that something is seriously amiss in the uterine department. The actual average daily blood loss is something akin to two fluid ounces, and the lasting time is generally 4-7 days. Anything greater is reason for concern. This has been your menstruation PSA]

Human Ike was a Rescue, and that meant that the crew was watching out for her and any of her warning signs. At least until it finally sank in that she was not at any risk of, (a) being hurt, (b) being probed, or, (c) being eaten. She hadn't gone into hiding for months, and they had believed her initial trepidation to be over.

Until today.

Human Ike was not in her domicile, not anywhere in the easy-access areas of the ship. Not anywhere that required a functioning Livesuit to enter. Not in the more common maintenance access tubes. Which meant, for the first time since they had acquired Ike, she had gone to hiding in the air vents.

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Challenge #03190-H281: The Classics

A human introduces their friends to 2001: A Space Odyssey and its sequel 2010: The year we make contact. -- Anon Guest

Humans love to share things. Food, games, experiences, and culturally significant milestones. One common way they do this is a phenomena known as Movie Night, where the Human in question shares entertainments from an astonishing store of media ranging from subtle to gross.

The CRC are still looking at how to handle Humanity's media made for their children. That stuff

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Challenge #03164-H255: Earth Plus Water Equals Friendship?

The path to real friendship is paved with really stupid shit. Hey my friend, sorry about that! Here, let me get that mud off of you. -- Anon Guest

There is a saying among Galactics, Pack-bonding will happen whether you want it or not. It is never said by Humans. When they found out about it they laughed.

It was certainly a very true saying for Companion Tros, who had just met her Ships' Human in a cascade of mud, tumbles, and

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Challenge #03160-H251: How to Save Human

Humans are too eager, sometimes, to protect us. We appreciate it, we rely on it, we've become highly dependent on it. Some of us... may have even grown weaker, relying on our living shields far too much. They are far too willing to throw their lives away for us, we must get them to see, their lives are worth just as much as ours are. -- Lessons

It is universally agreed that Humans, as a species, are insane. They have to be.

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Challenge #03137-H228: Medicinal Herb Misuse

Despite being Deathworlders themselves, they hired a human who was an expert at debugging computer systems, at engineering, and at improvising fast solutions when things went south. They looked like large, bipedal, cats, including claws that could pull in or be exposed when needed. They made sure they hired a human who was not allergic to fur, or felines. However, when the human started growing catnip, using it to sooth himself when they had trouble sleeping at night, the beings realized it

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Challenge #03113-H204: Proof in the Party

Our comments gave me an idea!

Companion Gann carefully wrote the scientific paper after several months of reading up on Humans' relationship with water. He brought the report to his people with the shocking, incredible, revelation that Humans were, in fact, mammals that were semi-amphibious by their very nature! The scientific community in his world was in an uproar, many hotly debating it and demanding proof. Huge pools of clean water were set that were quite deep, safeties were placed, just in

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Challenge #03100-H192: Unusual Pun-Ishment

The prisoner was sitting cuffed to a chair that was welded to the floor. The human was sitting with a pile of books next to them across the metal table that was also welded to the floor. The chair was not uncomfortable and the cuffs were padded.

[Pirate] "I will never tell you the size of our group or who our captains are. You're wasting your time!"

[Human interrogator with a sigh] "Are you sure? I really don't want to have to

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Challenge #03084-H176: Hello Again, Little Friend

They had crashed on a planet where the atmosphere was toxic. The pods were safe and able to be moved together to create a larger shelter, and with only four of them, the shelter was big enough for at least a month, though rescue stated they'd be there in about two weeks given the distance and lack of short cuts in that area. Their patient's infection showed by day two. The human frowned, seeing it, then began to cut apart citrus peels

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Challenge #03083-H175: Anything is Ammo

A: "What's that?"

H: "What's what?"

A: "That odd thing you're working on." Indicating the odd contraption attached to the human's suit that the human was carefully adding conditioning agent to the strong, stretching, straps

H: "Oh, this? That's just my wrist rocket"

A: "Wrist Rocket?"

H: "My slingshot"

A: ........................................... -- DaniAndShali

"Aw, don't look at me in that tone of voice," said Human Ess, still tinkering with the simple device. It was nothing more than a forked frame, some stretchy straps,

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Challenge #03064-H156: Shall We Play a Game?

Anyone who ran a table would understand. -- AmberFox

[AN: Yeah nah that's a bad sesh there. And maybe bad management]

The life of the game master holds many roles. Storyteller, co-ordinator, plot-weaver... and primary parental to a group of people with the collective intelligence of a tadpole. It wasn't their fault. Not entirely. Players in a game this complicated had other things to concern themselves with between sessions. They had lives, errands, work, trivialities, and assorted nonsense that obscured their memories.

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Challenge #03066-H143: Could is Not Should

Human: "Excuse me?"

Alliance Member: "Yes?"

Human: "I .. um.... kinda... messed up again."

Alliance Member: "Oh it's you.... OH! You didn't, please not again!?"

Human: "I really thought I could do it this time." The human held their broken arm and looked over at the trees that looked as though something large had just ripped through several of the small branches and leaves.

Alliance Member: "HOW many times do we have to tell you? Stop trying to get to the very top

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Challenge #03055-H132: Worked Stone

It was an old custom on Earth that was once popular. Humans would paint stones with pretty pictures, happy sayings, and then, when they had a fairly large collection done, would take all of these intricate stones and scatter them all over the place so other people could find them. Often with a URL on the back for people to log in with a picture of the stone to show it was found and where. A way to brighten a person's day.

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Challenge #03018-H095: Time and Effort

A: Can I borrow a knife?

B: What do you need it for?

A: What do you mean?

B: What you need it for will determine which one I give you.

A: How many knives do you have?!?

B: What do you need a knife for? -- FightingFit

"No, no, no," said Human Arin. "I gotta go down this rabbit hole. How many knives do you own?"

"One for every purpose and then some," dismissed Human Bob. "I have a collection."

"That's

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Challenge #03015-H092: Minor Disaster Averted

H: Ow.

A: What happened? Do you need medical?

H: Second, I'm on my way to medical already. First, I jarred the ankle on my good foot while trying not to mess up my bad foot further. Um...one A I guess?... I think I sprained something again.

A: Stay right there, I'll get a chair with wheels on it.

H: Oh yeah, I didn't think of that. That would be WAY faster than trying to limp there...

A: And it would

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Challenge #02931-H008: Okay We Know That Was Silly

Two humans go to the infirmary with hands covered in blisters. At first, the medic thinks they got heat-burned. But the tests show the blisters are from frostbite. When asked, the humans shrug and went "We wanted to see who could hold ice in our hands the longest, and to make it more fun, we added salt to our hands, first. We were just goofing off." -- Anon Guest

The leading cause of dangerous injury to Humans was Humans "just goofing off"

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